sexual harrassment

[ChristinaV]

Who would you go to?????

We work at a small close knit facility. Our payroll clerk has been employed here for years and has been groping female employees for YEARS. Most of the women push him away and tend to laugh it off in front of him, Im sure out of embarrasment and fear that he will manipulate the paychecks in some way. Some employees have been more vocal towards him and he leaves them alone for a time but usually resorts back to his old behavior. Lately his behavior has become more disgusting as he now reaches between the legs from behind and gropes private parts then laughs about it. He does this to the aides, nurses and housekeepers. Young and old!!! Problem is he is personal friends with our DON so no one has gone to her. Our new ADON is a very timid woman and the owners are absent. This behavior must stop. It isnt funny! I am a new employee who has been "chosen" to bring this problem to someone who will put an end to it. I have no idea who to go to. One of the employees wants to go to the local police but Im not sure if its a police problem. We cant afford to lose our jobs due to the friendship between our DON and this pervert. Any advice??? I have even spoken to this man about the possiblity of losing his job and possibly his home. I asked if it was worth it. He responded by poking at my breast and walking away. Nothing seems to deter his behavior. What would YOU do??????? Thanks.

[Altra, BSN, RN]

Have you witnessed this yourself? (I won't ask if you have personally been the victim of this alleged behavior)

I just find it hard to believe that multiple sexual assaults have occurred repeatedly and everyone tolerates it. What you have described is way beyond the co-worker who is perhaps a bit too touchy-feely. What you are describing is sexual assault, and my response, as others have said, would be be physical (if I were the one being assaulted) and a call to local police. Then, a call to owners/managers if they are not on-site.

[58flyer]

The behavior you describe definitely constitutes sexual harrassment as well as battery. In most states, if not all, simply touching another person against their will is battery, even if there is no physical harm. Simply touching a sexual body part is not sexual assault unless specific criteria is met. Your first step is to get the police involved. Make a criminal complaint. His poking your breast is enough of a violation to get the ball rolling. Don't delay, do it right now.

Legal procedures will vary from state to state, but most likely you will get a form to take to the prosecutor's office to start formal proceedings. How the prosecutor deals with it will depend on many factors.

Be careful of retaliatory conduct. Most likely this guy has a screw loose and you might trigger tragic consequences. But you still shouldn't have to put up with his poor conduct. The laws of most states allow you to protect yourself and another from an ongoing attack, but will not allow for a retaliatory attack. If he improperly touches you, you can use reasonable force to protect yourself or another.

Consider also that there may be other people working there who may have encouraged this kind of conduct, strange as it may seem. That also has to be addressed. There may be a woman or two pawing all over him! I have worked with aggressive and assertive women, I know from experience that that can happen. Of course, it doesn't give him the right to do it to you.

The longer you wait to take action the more it looks like tacit approval of his conduct. To be safe from sexual harrassment or violence in the workplace is not a luxury, it is your right.

[Simplepleasures]

Good grief! Who cares who he is friends with? Sexual harrasement and assault is ILLEGAL.First tell DON and HR simutaneously, then wait for a couple of days for their intervention. If their intervention does nothing to protect you, RUN to the EEOC and get an investigation started, they will probably wonder, that if he did what you and coworkers accuse him of WHY hasnt anyone come forward sooner? Plus consult an employment attorney immediatly.The longer you tolerate this behavior the harder its going to be for you to prove, because its been going on so long and no one did anything, Jeesh....

[babynurselsa, RN]

Self-defense against an assailant is not against the law.

Let hime call them and let us both give a police report....

I will be more than happy to explain how he got hurt.

Contact the EEOC. I believe they are the ones who handle complaints above the employer regarding harrassment and discrimination.

[TazziRN, RN]

if you take this to HR or the police saying that you want to press charges, you won't have a leg to stand on unless he has done this to you (the breast poking incident is yours, not the other incidents described to you). So far as you have explained, he has done nothing to you. Now you've put yourself in the middle of a mess that has nothing to do with you.

HUH??????? First you say the poking incident is hers, then you say the guy did nothing to her???

[Simplepleasures]

I spent 9 years in HR before coming to healthcare. So far what you have is hearsay evidence of what people have told you he has done. Further, if you take this to HR or the police saying that you want to press charges, you won't have a leg to stand on unless he has done this to you (the breast poking incident is yours, not the other incidents described to you). So far as you have explained, he has done nothing to you. Now you've put yourself in the middle of a mess that has nothing to do with you. My advice: stay out of it, but encourage those who have told you of his actions to pursue other avenues to get it to stop, including the incident you experienced. I can't imagine that if his actions were as you have been told that these people wouldn't do anything about it, especially if it really has been going on for years, as you say. Is it as serious as they are making it sound? Have you yourself witnessed any of this? It doesn't sound like it. Now, they want to stir up a brand new employee to go in and take the fall for them and you have not even witnessed a hint of this yourself. No thanks. Again, stay far away from being directly involved but encourage those who have experienced this to go the proper routes to get this behavior stopped.

Do not trust HR, they are employees of the facility and are paid to protect the facilties interests. But in order to prove to EEOC you filed a grievance with your facility, you must tell DON and HR first, then give them a couple of days to do investigation and then get rid of the sexual harrasser.IF they do nothing to protect you from this harraser, file a complaint with EEOC. EEOC is a Federal agency that enforces employment discrimination laws and things like sexual harrasment.

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

Well...

I would start by telling him no. Then I would tell him it is sexual harrasment and that he will be reported. Then I would report it (in writing) to the DON and HR. If things were not handled appropriately then I would take it outside authorities.

I would also make out a police report if he had touched me liek that and i would file assualt charges.

If he has not done this to you, but only others say it has happened then they need to take those actions.

[GregRN]

HUH??????? First you say the poking incident is hers, then you say the guy did nothing to her???

That was poorly worded on my part. I only meant that the incidents she described were not done to her, aside from the poking incident. My bad.

[GregRN]

Do not trust HR, they are employees of the facility and are paid to protect the facilties interests. EEOC is a Federal agency that enforces employment discrimination laws and things like sexual harrasment.The above poster's advice to you is erroneous, sounds just like a typical HR person.

Completely and totally false. All HR departments are mandated by federal law. Further, that standard by which HR is measured when it comes to harrassment is "if they knew, or SHOULD have known" about the harrassment. If either of those are "yes", then HR his held accountable and liable for the harrassment. Case law is full of HR departments whose lack of response to allegations has cost companies millions. That's why they take these things very seriously. Think about what you just said. Do you think HR wants people like this in the company? Not any more than you would. At the same time, unless the OP has witnessed the incidents described to her and if the employees are unwilling to come forward (as so far they have been) then everything is hearsay and it goes no further. That's the law, not HR protecting companies. And if you think you're going to get more action out of EEOC, a federal agency, than HR, then you have likely been misinformed.

[squeakykitty]

I agree with going to the DON as a group , but if they are real good friends that discipline wont last long. Personally I would slap the sh*t out of him, but that is just me... I don't even think I would have to do that cause my mountain man husband would take care of it...

If it was legal I'd probably kick him in the nuts so hard he'd be picking them out of his teeth, and that's just to get his attention.

[Simplepleasures]

Completely and totally false. All HR departments are mandated by federal law. Further, that standard by which HR is measured when it comes to harrassment is "if they knew, or SHOULD have known" about the harrassment. If either of those are "yes", then HR his held accountable and liable for the harrassment. Case law is full of HR departments whose lack of response to allegations has cost companies millions. That's why they take these things very seriously. Think about what you just said. Do you think HR wants people like this in the company? Not any more than you would. At the same time, unless the OP has witnessed the incidents described to her and if the employees are unwilling to come forward (as so far they have been) then everything is hearsay and it goes no further. That's the law, not HR protecting companies. And if you think you're going to get more action out of EEOC, a federal agency, than HR, then you have likely been misinformed.

Oh come on now, HR IS an employee of the facility and NOT an agency of the government. IF HR does not follow governmental employment laws they will be held responsible by the appropriate agency. I know first hand that HR does not follow ther own policies and does break employment laws in order to save the neck of the employer. Of course HR does not want sexual harrasers in their employ, but that does not mean they will believe the accuser, especially if the harraser is a friend of the DON.There are incredibly unscrupulous people out there that will do the bidding of the corporation. That is why the company is sued for millions of dollars every year and rightly so.The EEOC is not an employee of the corporation and I KNOW first hand an employee will get the protection of the law they fall under from these agencies.It behooves employees to KNOW that HR/ the corporation has no vested interest in doing the right thing for the employee, especially if it is going to mean trouble for them, they will spend thousands of dollars for lawyers to defend themselves. Unless you have a UNION, the Federal and State agencies are the only ones that will see to it that an unbiased investigation ensues and if the agencies findings indicate that the corporation did break certain employment laws, they will MANDATE the corporation to follow the law,giving the employee the right to sue, reinstatment, backpay, etc. etc. Plus the facility will be slapped with fines and an order to rectify their policies that allowed the breaking of the law to begin with. Ive been through this personally and know of what I speak.

[Medic/Nurse, BSN, RN]

I am not sure where to start, so...

1. This guy is a PREDATOR and I am concerned for your safety. Proceed with deliberation and caution - whatever course of action you choose. There is safety in numbers.

2. This has been going on for YEARS and has never been "dealt" with - other than weak attempts at diffusion (laughing it off) or limit setting (don't do that) that have not been very effective for very long.

3. I am a bit perplexed as to why YOU as the "new" employee have been chosen to bring this to an end. Why you? Why now? Others are seemingly unwilling to take a stand? One wants you to "go to the police". Well, the best advice I can give here is to : NEVER go to war without preparation or reinforcements. Don't be the sacrificial lamb - leave your job if you must, but DO NOT FIGHT THIS ALONE.

4. I share your disgust for unwelcome contact, but other than acceleration of behavior (grabbing between the legs, "poking" at your breast after "confrontation" then laughing) vs. the other more subtle, passive grabbing and poking is not without meaning. This is a terrible situation. To me there is no difference in the passive, subtle vs aggressive, overt. Both behaviors are assault and battery - call it what it is. This guy has "gotten away" with this for so long that one could argue that all his "victims" have consented by remaining silent. Scary.

Now what? Get your information/facts in order.

* I am assuming that this is a LTC environment. Is it part of a corporate structure with local owners or just local, private owners?

* How many employees work here?

* Do you have a human resource department?

* Do you have written policies that cover HR or harassment?

* Have you (and others) been documenting the "abuse"? Important: dates, times, exact situations, witnesses. Also, document any/all attempts that were made to confront his actions. I.E. Your conversation with him about his actions and consequences of continuing the behaviors.

* How long has he been doing this and who has been affected? Names and degrees of contact are important.

Options?

* If you are serious about being the "point gal" on this matter - you have to know what the "team" will do. Assemble the group and have an open discussion - AWAY FROM WORK in A SAFE PLACE. How do you want this resolved. Be prepared to ask the "administration" for what you want.

STEPS TO CONSIDER:

1. Tell him to stop. No one gets to laugh it off anymore. Be clear and do not make any threats toward him. He has suffered no adverse actions in the past, has become more bold so I'm guessing that he fears little. But, STOP is a good place to start. Simple, concise and direct.

2. Request a meeting with the DON, ADON and owners. Do it in writing, if necessary. Going as a group with written documentation would best, but even going alone detailing only YOUR encounter is enough. Any DON that would place friendship before a duty to protect the employees from sexual abuse is sure not to be the DON very long. And if ever pushed he/she could be viewed as allowing the behavior to continue - this could make the DON responsible for criminal or civil liability. I hope the DON is not that STUPID.

3. I think it may be necessary to point out (to administration) that you have a sexual abuser in a facility with vulnerable populations. Any DON, ADON or owner should be able to conclude that this is a VERY BAD THING.

Now as to other recourse.

You detail that you are in a small close knit facility (that fact alone - makes me wonder why the DON is seemingly unaware that this guy makes these sexual advances) and that you/others want to stay there, makes the way you deal with this a bit more complicated.

Once you give the "administration" a chance to remedy the situation and they fail to act prudently (READ THAT THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE ACTION BY ADMINISTRATION IS TERMINATION OF HIS EMPLOYMENT) then you can proceed with other avenues of resolution.

Reporting this to the police should be considered, but you can report ONLY what happened to you. Sue Smith can report what happened to her. Jane Doe can make a report on what happened to her. But, you CANNOT report to police instances where you were not a victim or witness. Also, reporting to the police will be a matter of public record if the guy is charged/arrested. This FACT alone is a big deal. I would think that the state that licenses your facility would investigate without delay any facility that employees anyone (in any capacity) charged with a crime of this nature. Do the owners/DON/ADON want this kind of publicity?

You could also try the EEOC but I have not heard of anyone getting marked rapid success with this type of issue. But, it is a possibility.

FIRST, If you can --- go to an attorney for advice and I advise it before any other action - IF you can AFFORD to do it. But, I have no idea of your resources - so I am not sure if that is EVEN possible. There may be some here that say consultation is free or that an attorney should help you file a civil lawsuit, but don't count on it.

You are in a difficult situation. Any action you take can take may come with a price. This has the potential to be a big scandal. Position yourself with as much protection as you can. Ask yourself whether, as the new employee, "is this fight is worth it?". Protect yourself. I've seen a few (reporters) in these type of situations become easily crucified - I know one could no longer find work as a nurse due to her being "labeled" a "troublemaker". Be sure of what you want and what you are willing to do to get it. I'm not suggesting that what is going on is right, just pointing out that this situation is not without risk. Even if you win, you may lose something. Be ready. Be certain.

GOOD LUCK and stay SAFE.