I am in the process of doing a poster presenation on the adoption rights of same-sex couples, and would appreciate any info you may have.
research wise, any article or great web site that cites acedemic research supporting or against same sex parents would be of great use to me.
Also if your canadian (esp. Ontario) and info in the legal defination of family, gay legal rights of spouse/parents, or web sites on this issue would be golden.
Thank you all so much. Email articles if you have them to [email protected] (no acrobat format plz, cant take it)
Zhakrin
PS feel free to state your opinions here on this hot topic.
I have to say, first of all, that I respect your opinion.
Secondly, I have to say that I believe God designed His people to live in love. It is far better for a child to have a home free of abuse and neglect, a home where he or she can grow to their full potential without fear, a home full of love. There are countless examples of people who have the ability to reproduce sexually that make terrible, evil parents.... I hardly think that the ability to procreate is the benchmark to judge all people in their worth as parents, or as people.
It is far more important to me that a child be loved.
This is not intended to incite any great argument, just stating my opinion.
And the ability to procreate does NOT inherently make someone a good parent.
Still I stand on my faith, and know that same sex couples is not what God teaches. In the Old Testament, cities were destroyed for such sexual immoralities. The coming of Jesus didn't mean that the old laws and decrees are to be ignored. By Jesus, we can be forgiven if we confess our sin and repent... Being a good person doesn't get you into heaven.
I see that you are strong in your opinion and I have no desire to quote from the Bible or make my voice the loudest. That is neither productive nor amusing to me.
I'll also say that your geographical location is not lost on me.
I maintain that the only way to sway public opinion is to live my life openly and honestly. I am strong in my own faith, as well. My faith in God, in my community, and in my heart.
I respect your opinion, but I would be remiss if I didn't say I am glad it is the minority opinion. Maybe change is closer than we think.
I appreciate this exchange, George. Thanks for your honesty. Its always nice to meet people that don't agree with me.
I haven't reached an opinion either way on same sex adoption but I admit, I am questioning some of the ideology put forth in support of this debate.
I question the argument about it being better for a child to be adopted by a loving family no matter the sex orientation of the parents. The underlying message (or should I say assumption) in this argument is that heterosexual parents quite often tend to be abusive and it's insinuated that homosexual couples never are or will be. Yes, unfortunately, there is child abuse in hetero parents but is that totally restricted to them?
Is or has there been proof and guarantees that homosexual parenting will never ever be abusive? I was in group therapy a year or so ago and one of the clients was a lesbian who had a 9 year old son and lived with her partner. This woman was continually being committed to psyche wards because of her suicide attempts. I would consider this abusive to the child putting him through all this insecurity. She also didn't know how to respond when her 9 year old would pull his member out in front of her and masturbate. (I would've told the little guy to put his bird back in his pants RIGHT NOW and don't you ever do that again to me or anybody else. Course in this day and age some would consider me abusive.)
There seems to be a superior attitude among homosexual parents that they are more loving than the average heterosexual couple.
And I also notice that the arguments for same sex adoption are all about the parents and their characteristics and the supposedly higher quality of love they possess. The child is relegated to what his or her background has been. What about the child that would rather be adopted by a married man and woman?
Will the gay parents forsake all others? I know there is adultery in hetero marriages and that is wrong. Wrong for the injured spouse and no good for the children when it causes divorce. Years ago, it was believed that divorce is not harmful to children and it has been shown that divorce affects kids more so than we thought it would.
If a child from a drug addict's home is adopted, will all illegal drug use be eliminated by the parents? When anyone uses the argument that they provide a superior loving atmosphere to raise a child or they can be perfect parents, they will be looked more critically and expected to prove it. It's not fair, but that's human nature. I'd love it too if life were a series of Kodak moments but I doubt I'll see it in my lifetime.
Anyway these are my thoughts on the matter. I would hope in 10 years when children of gay parents grow up they will be as healthy, emotionally, physically and mentally as children of hetero couples (well most hetero couples-goodness know straights can raise some crazy kids!). As gay adoption and child rearing is, for the most part, a recent phenomenon, we will only be able to judge then. If gays can to a better job of child rearing, my hat is off to them.
I haven't read a post where someone has stated that homosexuals are perfect parents, or will never be abusive or less than totally loving to their children.
I know I haven't said that. I also haven't said that gay people have a superior love to offer. I only advocate for the equal opportunity to prove themselves as worthy parents for a child who needs a home.
That's all I'm saying. I think every child deserves a loving and supportive environment, and I don't care if that's with the traditional nuclear family or with another family type. The outcome is the important part. To me, anyway.
I don't think its a matter of which sexual orientation has better parenting skills, I think its extending the opportunity to adopt to all people who desire to do so.
I was about to congratulate an earlier response of yours and then I stumbled across your "I'll also say that your geographical location is not lost on me." posted to George. I was shocked that someone belonging to a group which has suffered much discrimination would make such a generalized and stereotypical statement. What does his location have to do with his religious beliefs or with his opinion on this topic? I have several gay friends, one's partner has a 9yr old child. Do I think they are good parents? Absolutely. Do I think the father could do a better job than my friend? Absolutely. A son deserves a role model; a man. However, I'm not opposed to homosexuals raising kids. I do fear these kids will grow up terribly confused. I guess time will tell and sadly enough these kids will be the subjects of a societial experiment.
As for same sex marriages... They should be legal. It's a damn shame two people can spend their lives building assets only to have a partners family rush in and take everything in the end. My bible also says it's wrong, but my heart says if it's love, it can't all be wrong.
Sorry if I offended you, or anyone, with that statement, but it came out of a very painful personal experience of being bashed there as a young lesbian. I came very close to losing my life, and I'm afraid I can never stomach visiting that geographic area again, and that's an area that I will always have very negative feelings about.
You're right, of course. It was stereotypical and probably unfounded, and I'm sure most of the people there are good, upstanding people, but our opinions are shaped by our experiences, and I can't seem to separate the logic from the emotion as far as that is concerned.
Probably more information than you needed, and it doesn't justify the comment, but I wanted to give you an idea of the space I'm in as far as that is concerned.
So long as there are kids out there being brought up in a series of foster homes with no one to call their own I will not be all that fussy about who wants to take them in and love them.
All the homosexuals and the Bible thumpers that are willing are welcome, no matter if I agree with their opinions or lifestyle. Just want the kids to have a home, and a family that cares.
I think that it is a good Idea and perfectley natural nowadays for same sex couples to adopt. I mean there are so many people that adopt and aduse kids, yet there is still a hang up of same sex couples adopting. I maen they think that cause they are same sex couples that they are GOING to interfere WITH the child.
What Crap.
Same sex couples can give better homes and Love to children with No love and Support.
I can certainly undersatnd how a supremely negative experience would affect your feelings about a certain geographic location. Since I left my home in Tennessee 5 years ago to marry my Mew Mexican husband, I have had some experiences here that have me crying into my pillow with the desire to go home. However, I was shocked just 2 days ago at the comments of a native New York lady who had witnessed some public affection between 2 women while waitng to be seen at my clinic. Irate that her child had been exposed to "such sinning in public", she told me that "in New York, this would never have been allowed. Somebody would have taken them out in the parking lot and beat the s**t out of them, because this is evil" I was shocked both at her animosity and that she seemed to condone such violence over what is a purely personal choice.
I believe that none of us has the right to judge lest we be judged. I believe that nothing is as important to a child as a loving home, however that may be obtained- it is not my place to make personal decisions for others. I contibute this only to implore you to realize that all hate and prejudice is not confined to the lower right-hand portion of this nation, and that the terrible experience you suffered does not represent the intentions of the majority.
delirium
629 Posts
I have to say, first of all, that I respect your opinion.
Secondly, I have to say that I believe God designed His people to live in love. It is far better for a child to have a home free of abuse and neglect, a home where he or she can grow to their full potential without fear, a home full of love. There are countless examples of people who have the ability to reproduce sexually that make terrible, evil parents.... I hardly think that the ability to procreate is the benchmark to judge all people in their worth as parents, or as people.
It is far more important to me that a child be loved.
This is not intended to incite any great argument, just stating my opinion.