Patient demands, "I want a different nurse"

l.rae · Jan 20, 2003

"Don't send that blond bytch in my mom's room again!"...this from a dgtr who was indignant when l tried to calmly expalin why mom wasn't walked to the BR...(had to wait 30 min), during a code in the ER.....she "understood" all that because "l am an ICU nurse."...geesh, you think SHE could have walked mom to the BR?......anyway, l was just passing thru, working triage that nite, but went in to hang another IV bag for a co-worker....when l explained that code was priority, and applogised, she went ballistic told supervisor l was condesending and l was not to enter her mom's room again...as stated above...Supervisor tells me this , l say pass the tissues......not only was this dgtr a nurse, she worked at my hospital, different site!...go figure....

OBNURSEHEATHER · Jan 20, 2003

Originally posted by NS_RN
And....I wish I had the option of saying "I don't want him/her for a patient"!!!!

Oh, wouldn't that be nice?

Texagain · Jan 20, 2003

Actually, this happens with some frequency on my unit- we have alot of long term bedresters (APU). It's not a big deal. We handle it different ways. Sometimes, we are happy to not take care of the pt, and accept it happily. Sometimes, mid-shift, for example, it's just not practical to change. In any case the charge nurse or super investigates and it is almost always the nurse who decides. Once, I didn't want to change, so the super told the pt that all our nurses were competant to take care of her and she'd just have to live with me for a few more hours that day.

It's more typical that there is a personality conflict as opposed to a skills question.

Also, it seems our APU's who do that also do it in the NICU.

Texagain · Jan 20, 2003

To OBNURSEHEATHER- Hey we are allowed to do that!

mattsmom81 · Jan 20, 2003

Occasionally a patient gets a burr up their britches, or there's a personality conflict. As charge, I would put in an appearance to try to smooth ruffled feathers...with the nurse present. Sometimes they would iron out the difference themselves. If either party wanted a change of nurse I would accomodate. The staff understood they may be asked to do this for one another at some time or another. Even is the patient is a 'problem' we would do this.

Very seldom did I find any was there any 'real' problem that needed to go any further than that...it was generally just a misunderstanding blown out of proportion by vulnerable, scared (or orificehole) patients and families. We handled it on the unit unless the family tried to take it further up the food chain.

OzNurse69 · Jan 20, 2003

Originally posted by NS_RN
And....I wish I had the option of saying "I don't want him/her for a patient"!!!!

I do!! I work in gen surg. doing a lot of gastric bypass surgery, & they often go bad, & are usually PITA's to begin with -- so we are allowed to request not to look after that particular pt if we have had them a few times before -- saves on burnout. Makes it interesting when you get to work, request NOT to look after a pt, & then have their family say "why aren't you taking care of my daughter today? We specifically requested that you look after her" !!

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Jan 20, 2003

I've never had this happen....for some reason, I've always been the one who gets sent in to smooth things over, even before I was in management. I used to work with a former classmate who was probably one of the best clinical nurses that hospital ever had, but her "people skills" stunk on ice. She was forever alienating patients and families, and the house supervisor would ask me to calm everybody down while she tried to find another nurse to take over the patient's care. I didn't mind, but some of these people were PITAs and I ended up taking care of them for the remainder of their stays, as well as the next time they came in because they'd ask for me!! And of course, being in med-surg means never being allowed to refuse to care for a pt.............

passing thru · Jan 21, 2003

what's a PITA ?

Stargazer · Jan 21, 2003

Pain in the ass.

KaroSnowQueen, RN · Jan 21, 2003

Happened to me. Pt's family stated to charge nurse next day, that no one was ever in room with pt day before. Charge nurse had been off day before. Luckily I had charted a BOOK on this pt. The girl acting as charge backed me up, amazingly!!!!!!

Family had been told pt was most likely terminal and I think was just reacting out in any way they could. For a solid five hour period, some staff member was in the room continuously and it was documented, me - the lowly LPN, the PSA, the RN charge giving my narcotic pushes, the respiratory therapist, the oncologist. Somebody in there all the time.

But...."No one was in there."

I said, Good for me. I don't want to have to fool with them and their uncertain grasp of reality. Someone else took them and was in there every minute of the day that day.

Next day, they didn't want her in there any more either. Didn't pay mama enough atttention. Good grief.

I say take it with a grain of salt, and think of it as a pain you don't have to go through.

PS for passingthru P.ain I.n T.he A.$$ = PITA

karoline · Jan 21, 2003

Several years ago I worked pediatrics at a university hospital and many of the kids on my unit had a hematology/oncology related diagnosis or some other chronic disorder that required lengthy and repeated admissions. A few times I cared for kids whose parents and I didn't click and they asked for a different nurse. Happened to everyone at one time or another. Sometimes the parents would play one nurse against another to get what they wanted and really took advantage of the nurses. Parents of very sick children are incredibly stressed and often the nurses are the target of their anger and frustration. My first manager was good at not letting the parents have too much control and would tell parents that each nurse on the unit was equally qualified to care for their child. After this manager left the following manager was a different story. Often moms were making out the bed assignments (admissions) for the day and who would and wouldn't be their roommates. Parents were allowed to check the nuring schedule to see who could be their nurse. One time the infant daughter of one of the social workers was hospitalized (repeatedly, unfortunately with leukemia) and the mom would check the schedule and make a list of who would be her daughter's nurse for each shift for the length of time she was hospitalized. Needless to say this caused alot of resentment and hard feelings among the staff. Personally, I was very happy to not be on her "list."

I left pediatrics eight years ago and do not miss these conflicts one bit. Have worked med/surg since then and have very rarely had this happen. Currently I work on a cardiac and cardiothoracic surgery floor. One night, not long after starting my current job, I cared for the husband of one of our secretaries. He didn't want me to be his nurse the next night because he felt I wasn't helpful enough. Actually the off going nurse led me to believe that he was much more independent than he was. He was readmitted several months later and I steered clear of him. When his wife came to visit she asked if I was his nurse. I told her that he didn't want me to be his nurse previously when he was a patient due to a misunderstanding. She was not aware of the situation and said "well I told him to ask for you because you are the best one."

One thing I have learned is to not take anything personally and to let things go.

mario_ragucci · Jan 21, 2003

For me it's sex thing. Older women reject me on rare occasion because I am a man. There is nothing I love more than to have someone explain they are uncomfortable with my gender. I don't mind, and automatically forgive them and pay homage to their request, but it does seem strange to me. Don't they realize I came out of a mom. I'm not some seperate species. Jeesh :-(