Our boss is so awful!

AggieQT · Jan 25, 2010

My advice: Stay out of it. Let your friend do her battle and watch out for your future and career by keeping your mouth shut. Don't pick sides and when your friend wants to vent, suggest another topic and explain to her your reasoning for staying out of it.

caliotter3 · Jan 25, 2010

My advice: Stay out of it. Let your friend do her battle and watch out for your future and career by keeping your mouth shut. Don't pick sides and when your friend wants to vent, suggest another topic and explain to her your reasoning for staying out of it.

Excellent advice. And if it bothers you enough, seek another job while you are still in her good graces. But still look to use other nurses for your references so maybe you can avoid having her sabotage your efforts. Since you are employed there, you can check the box "do not contact present employer" and maybe things will go ok. You know what they say about getting gone while the time for getting gone is good. Good luck to you.

SoundofMusic · Jan 25, 2010

I know -- I should not get involved, and I know I should probably get off this unit soon. But it's a shame this manager continues to do this, ruining people's chances on the unit, and potentially their chances to even continue in nursing at all. Why is this allowed? People have been seriously hurt, some to the point of depression and even SI. I just don't think any of the treatment they received was deserved.

What would seem appropriate would be proper placement, or a "suggestion" to leave to find other units, perhaps other hospitals, etc. We work on a very tough unit and it's just not for everybody. Heck, nursing is just tough and I don't understand why people have to be so severely held to the fire just because they can't cope on a very difficult unit. Very, very good nurses, some even from very good nursing schools/universities have left. It just seems like a sham.

netglow, ASN, RN · Jan 25, 2010

OP you sound like a good friend. If I were you, I would support my friend as best I could. This means just being there for her. It doesn't have to mean challenging the boss. What do we have if not each other.

UM Review RN, ASN, RN · Jan 25, 2010

I believe that no nurse should stay on a unit that is toxic. It begins to affect one's self-esteem, confidence, and can have a negative impact on the patients.

A nursing job is more than the sum of its parts. It's more than the job you do for your patients. You have to ask yourself -- am I growing here? Am I getting paid what I'm worth? Am I valued and encouraged or are my contributions ignored? Are we nurses being pushed into doing things that are unsafe?

We have to remember to take care of ourselves so that we can have the emotional strength and intellectual resilliance to care for others.

Willow Moonsidhe · Jan 25, 2010

Sounds like the person who just got me laid off. I was given option to leave with resignation or be fired for going over her head to HR. She will grin and stab you in the back. It was the most horrible experience I have ever been though and now I am having a heck of a time finding another job. It amazed me someone at middle level could have that much power also. I have been depressed ever since and trying to keep my chin up and be positive. I have submitted tons of apps with only one response for psych home health.

Hope things get better for you also. It is horrible your unit is going through the same thing.

Blessings & Hugs

~Willow

angel4gramma · Jan 25, 2010

Sounds like my last staff job. I left on my own after I started traveling but she was doing her best to fire me. My "friends" coworkers avoided me because she threatened them. It hurt me at the time but she was let go a few months later. Most of my coworkers found other jobs. I thought I could stand up to her and change things but now I know to keep my mouth shut at work and do my job then go home.

diane227, LPN, RN · Jan 25, 2010

How long has this nurse been the manager? Was she a nurse on that unit prior to becoming the manager or did she come from the outside? Is there a great difference from an ethnic standpoint between her and the staff she supervises? Do you work in a union shop?

There are ways for staff to manage a manager out of their position but they have to work together to do it. Just one employee at a time won't get it done usually. When I was the director of nursing at a large hospital in Houston, if I had an area with a high turnover the first place I looked was at the manager. What was going on that this person could not retain staff? And then, the next thing I did was have a meeting with the staff, without the manager, to try to get to the cause of the problem. Of course I did not go behind the back of the manager. I was up front with the manager that I was going to meet with the staff and I shared my concerns about why their staff was leaving. Now, my goal would be to train the manager to do it right. But if that does not work, then the manager has to go. For every nurse you have to hire and train you don't recover the cost of the recruitment and training for at least a year and a half. So for any good manager, it is better to try to retain staff rather than have everyone leave.

Now, with that being said, you cannot have a weak manager, one that lets people do what ever they want and never talks to anyone about a problem. There has to be a balance of expectations, accountability and authority.

As for the situation with your friend, do yourself a BIG favor and stay out of the issue between her and this manager. Don't put yourself in a position to be terminated. And tell your friend that if she thinks that she is about to be fired, tell her to RESIGN. You don't want to have a termination on your resume if you don't have to.

Willow Moonsidhe · Jan 25, 2010

I resigned from the position; but am still having a hard time finding the jobs I am trained in. The manager I dealt with had a 68% turnover rate. It was posted in the lounge under out stats for the unit.

~Willow

debi49 · Jan 25, 2010

Willow...you would think a turn over rate of 68% in the economy would raise the suspicion of HR. Amazing how facilities will protect and coddle certain people.

SoundofMusic · Apr 5, 2010

I wanted to update this post.

Our boss has put in her resignation. In the last few months, many of us on our floor wrote letters to HR, and HR even showed up on our unit to do focus groups. Enough people spoke out in the focus groups, and through anonymous letters, that it seems to have made an impact.

I'm not sure what happened, but all of a sudden, our boss has put in her resignation. It seems she has a good job to go to, but still -- something may have put pressure on her to leave.

It was sad to see it happen -- but she seriously made life miserable for so many people. The last nurse she tried to ruin fought back --and fought hard. She DEMANDED that HR be present at the meeting w/ her and the boss in every encounter. She DEMANDED that HR make the boss come up with SPECIFIC reasons why she was downgrading her on her eval. Boss couldn't come up with anything specific.

Turns out now the boss has to re-do her terrible eval.

Basically, we, as nurses, won this one.

Wanted to post it, because nurses, if you fight back -- and fight TOGETHER -- you CAN beat a bad manager like this. We seem to have been successful. Now we'll have to see what NEW difficult person they put in as manager -- but we will continue to band together to fight it. Also, if you have a boss giving you a terrible evaluation for no reason-- MAKE him/her prove it. Get HR involved. Don't sit back and take it.

Nurses can fight back against unjust management practices. They just have to stick together and back each other up. I'm glad I fought w/ my friend. It was scary and risky -- but we won out. I only hope that the remaining managers learn from it and realize they can't continue to put us down and abuse us -- even try to get us fired, for no good reason.