O.K. I seriously think I'm burning out...

[Tweety]

I nearly had a meltdown last night. You don't have to read this, I'm just venting, but by talking about it now I can let go and move on. I'm off for two days. I'm moving to my new unit on Sunday and hopefully will be alright.

I come on at 6:45 and I'm in charge. We have no secretary, which is the normal. Phone is ringing off the hook, family members all lined up at the desk with questions, get through report. Call staffing "where is the agency nurse we were getting." Answer "we cancelled him in favor of another nurse and left a message on her maching" Me: "You cancelled a confirmed nurse and don't have confirmation on her replacement". "She'll be there, I'm sure". Day shift nurse wants to leave graciously stays but vents her anger at me. Call supervisor "Please, if I'm f*cked let me know right now, I'll take the patients and there will be no charge nurse for a while".

They send me an ICU that was in the ER to take care of ICU patients in my intermediate unit and I pull one of "my" nurses out. She literally cusses me out one side and down another. Seriously pissed, and I understand. Sorry. ICU nurse isn't happy either. Sorry.

Phone still ringing off the hook. Radiology transportor screams "I've been waiting for help with this patient and none of you want to help me". "I NEVER HEARD YOU ASK FOR HELP AND WE AREN'T SITTING AROUND DOING NOTHING!!!!!!!". Charge nurse helps tranporter.

Recovery room calls wanting bed they've been waiting on. I explain when the patient in their is discharged, as you already know. 15 minutes later recovery room "we're still waiting", me "yes patient is not through with her IV med, AS I SAID I WILL CALL YOU". 15 minutes later recovery room on the phone again "we've been waiting....blah blah blah" I literally scream in to the phone "STOP HARRASSING ME!!!!" and hang up on her. She calls back "Did you just hang up on me". Me "Yes, CLICK SLAM".

I'll spare you the rest, but it went on like this for a few more hours.

I took a deep breath. Walked to recovery room and apoligized in person for my behavior and that I was very sorry and wrong and she shouldn't have gotten the brunt of my anger. She said she talked to her coworkers who know me well, and got the felling it was not the real me and was willing to let it go. But at that point I wanted to beg her to write me up so I could get fired.

I've done this job for 10 years, I can do it. But I've never hung up on anyone in that kind of anger and frustration before. I'm famous for my serenity and it takes A LOT to get me frazzled.

Am I loosing it? Burning Out? Need a vacation? Need to get out of nursing? Shut up and quit my whining, you get paid to do this job? Sigh.

Thanks so much for those who made it this far.

[Agnus]

Originally posted by sjoe

wendy writes: "I still think we should all band together and form our own hospital ala patch adams style , we could rock the free world"

Sounds fine to me, so long as it is in a warm climate.

Hear Hear:cool:

[Agnus]

My love to you, third shift.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Thanks again everyone for your support.

Jenny P, that was an uplifting post. Thanks. I've written up my concerns before when they got my transfer request. I'll leave it at that. Believe you me, it won't do any good, but it did cause a stir. Everyone from phlebotomy to housekeeping knows I'm leaving neuro. I only hope tonight I don't go out with too much of a bang. Saturdays aren't too bad.

I fully believe the long-term stress is quite detrimental to nurses. Day and after day of it just can't be good for the old body.

I'm also hoping we don't get too many sick calls as our hometeam plays in the Superbowl tomorrow.

[mario_ragucci]

third shift - you have a great writing style! Take this opportunity to exercise patience and grace. The hardest part is keeping it all in. It's good to read other peoples worlds and how all nurses respond to various battlefields we encounter on this board. Sounds like you work at a lively place. Would you prefer if everyone just shuffled lifelessly and had faint vibrations?

Neil Young once told me: "My my, Hey hey, It's better to burn out, than to fade away (or rust)" I just wanted to add that for anyone who uses guided imadgry for healing.

[RNFROG3, BSN, RN]

Kudos for apologising and may the move be a much needed improvement. You are always so supportive of the Allnurses group , I hope you feel the love now when you need it.Let's hear it for vacation time!!

I'm just curious though -your ER has ICU nurses? WOW what a concept. We just get the ICU charge to float down and make sure we aren't screwing up too badly when the ICU patients are on hold here in the ED

[RED_ALERT37]

BIG GIGANTIC HUGS TO YOU !!!!!!!! No you arent burned out, you know why.....? You still care..... its when you dont care, go out on the back steps and smoke a cigarette or hide in a breakroom eating bon bons and drinking Starbucks you are BURNED OUT !!!

The change will do you good..... after being out on a medical leave for 3 years now, I never realized how much I miss Nursing.

I cant wait to get back to all the mayhem.... hahahaa okay I know I need a PHYSCH EVAL !!!!

HANG IN THERE SWEEETIE we need more Nurses like you !!!!!

:kiss

[karenG]

I am so glad I dont work on a hospital!!

you need some 'me' time........time to sit and think! think you reacted well in a terrible situation. I hope your next floor is better(and could someone tell me what a floor is please?)

Karen

[Stargazer]

karen G: A "floor" in North American parlance is a multi-bed unit, usually with a centralized nursing station, often but not always taking up an entire floor of the hospital, dedicated to a specific specialty (OB, respiratory, telemetry, etc.)

Is this what you call wards in the UK?

[IloveSnoopy]

I'd vote for the vacation option....although....whenever I take vacation: sure it's great when your off....but how about when it's time to go back? I literally cry when my vacation is over! It's not like the problems just melt away...in my case anyways. I get back and I'm thrown into the same damn situations that made me take vacation in the first place! I need a "permanent vacation". Sorry this doesn't cheer you up any.....just know that you are not alone....we all hear ya.

:)

[Tookie]

Thinking of you - First step taken

Vented well

Vent again when neccessary

Next step

Pamper yourself - what ever that direction may take you

next step

Review your workplace- can you improve it - do you want to stay

When you have decided these questions

Make yourself your No 1 priority.

Hang in there - You are the most important person in this case - You neeed to be effective and only you know how to do that .

Take care - Sandra

[karenG]

thanks for that stargazer- we just call them wards!!

Karen

[adrienurse, LPN]

ward/unit/floor, it's all interchangeable.