You have come to a good place to get some answers to your questions, all of which are valid, and obviously very very painful for you.
Let me just say that the source of your "feeling confused" is because you are receiving twisted and distorted information from your sister-in-law. She is being far from "honest" with you, let alone herself! Your own good common sense, having "checked out" her story, and relying on your "gut reaction", has proven this.
YOU are NOT the one who is "confused" here.
My name is Bonnie Creighton. I am an RN, and have been for thirty years now. On August the 8th of this year I celebrated six years clean and sober. For twenty-eight years alcohol was my "medication", until it stopped doing for me what I needed it to do, i.e., "fix" my feelings. As a Registered Nurse, one day I crossed that line we all "swear" we will never cross......taking narcotics for our own use. For three years after that, I diverted Demerol, Morphine, Dilaudid, Valium, Stadol, Phenergan, Vistaril, Xanax, Ativan, MS-Contin, Vicodin, Darvocet, and any mood or mind-altering substance I could get my hands on!
Toward the end of my diversion, my drugs of choice became demerol, morphine, and dilaudid, intravenously, and exclusively so.
`My employer pulled off an intervention one morning, after I had worked my 12-hr. night shift (7p-7a). It was the saddest, most humiliating day of my life!!! BUT, it put me on the road to Recovery. My employer at that time saw addiction for what it truly is.......a disease. (dis-ease) It is VERY complex, and there is much we still do not understand, but science and medicine are making headway and inroads all the time.
Your sister-in-law is not a "bad" person who needs to "get her act together".....she is a very very sick person, who needs to get well! If she truly is diverting drugs, she is an unwitting victim because "intellectually" she knows the difference between right and wrong, but this is a disease that once it is active, and off and running (inside of us), is more powerful than our own will-power, our own good reasoning powers, our own good intellect, and most frightening of all, more powerful than the spiritual force that feeds our own soul!
Please e-mail me privately if you wish at : email@example.com
I would be glad to talk with you further because I believe I could be of some help.
Bonnie Creighton,RN, MHCA
Mental Health Consumer Advocate