Need Advice. I'm afraid my nursing career is over.

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Hello everyone.

I don't want to make this so long that you have to muddle through it, so I will do my best to keep it as short as possible because I really need some advice.

I'll start by saying....I messed up. Bigtime. I graduated nursing school last July as an LPN. Started working for a skilled nursing facility as a graduate nurse until I got my license. I was very "green", didn't have what I feel I needed orientation wise to be competent to be caring for vented patients, so I asked for help a lot. I didn't appear very confident, and behind my back I got called "dumb blonde nurse", etc....I heard this through my coworkers who were fellow students of mine. They didn't share the opionion, thankfully, but I really felt unwanted there. One night I had a patient (non vented) with rapid resps and tachy. Hx of anxiety, as he was terminal (and very young). I worked midnights. After doing my assessment I decided to call the doctor. Nurse manager said, "You're calling the doctor this late? Just give him a neb treatment and see what he does." (This pt, despite being terminal, was "yes to hospitalization" on advance directives...newly dx'd c lung ca). In the orders, there was NO PRN or scheduled neb tx. And, of course, it's not a standing order. NM looked at me, rolled her eyes and said, "Just give the neb tx". I didn't. I gathered my vitals, and called the physician. He was transfered to the hospital.

That is only one example; there are several more, in which I was treated pretty rotten in my opinion. The nurses there were miserably overworked, understaffed, and in the nursing community this facility is known for being a bad place to work. But...they were the only ones to hire a new grad and I obviously needed experience.

Here's the problem. I turned in a written resignation, after being hired with a new facility under a huge organization. We were under quarantine for the norovirus. CNA's were told they couldn't leave d/t no replacements, despite vomiting and temps over 100. They never called in for agency help or anything. The day after I turned in my TWO week notice, I called and left a voice mail saying, "I just wanted you to accept my resignation effective immediately. Myself and my family are ill and I have to tend to them right now. If you have any questions, please call me."

Onward to the next place of employment. They have (and still do) an ad for RN's and LPN positions; the ad has been there for over a year now, and is on several employment websites in our area. But....I thought, well, at least they have a staffing department. Can't be as bad as the previous place, right? At least this time I had experience and a lot more confidence. Again working midnights, I look around and notice that I have worked several shifts being the only staff nurse. The rest being agency. So I'm the only nurse with access to the pyxis, among other things. But that's ok, because I don't mind helping out others. I appreciate help too when I can get it.

Different place....different problems. But just as, if not moreso, sickening. I see offgoing nurses, in tears giving report. Oncoming are just as upset. Mainly administration type issues.....more work piled on with no additional staff to get it done without submitting overtime. Staffing errors...I was called at 11pm by the house sup asking where I was...when I wasn't on the schedule. Got written up, went to HR and they found the error. But did they remove it from my record...nah.

There are more issues, but I'm still trying to simplify this so I can get to the real problem: I quit. On the phone (I wasn't on duty). The HR person was hollering in my ear (I hadn't been there but 5 months so I wasn't supported by the union just yet), and I said, "Please accept my resignation effective now". She said in an upbeat voice, "Ok".

So.....for all I did there, for all the residents I cared for, all the help I offerred my CNA's, because I care and am willing to lend a hand. For all the times I've heard residents complain about always "seeing new faces" and hearing "Ohhhhh you're my nurse tonight. Oh, good, honey!" I genuinely CARE. I am attentive. I am a strong pt advocate and I stand up for what I believe in. I LOVE NURSING.

But now I have two very poor references.

I'm looking for a new job. My only nursing experience is bad experience. I won't be receiving good references from either place. Particularly the last position, because my attendance was poor d/t my mom's illness. (systemic lupus with many secondary problems and she's only 54...it's hard because I am so close to her.....anyways....).

What do I tell potential employers? They have me sign a form that asks my references specifics like work ethic, attendance, attitude.....the HR people who fill these out never work midnights. They don't know that I've worked 14 hours without taking a break some nights. They don't know that I've caught a lot of potential problems and initiated treatments. They didn't see ANY of the good things I did. But records don't lie. I called in probably 5 times in 5 months. I let them know that my mom was ill and that I take care of her. They just recommended that I take personal leave. Only being on the job 5 months, I can't do that. I need the income. I've since made arrangements for help with my mom, but if anything emergent happens, of course I want to be there.

I have 3 kids. My husband left me (in nursing school still....not working, no income), last May, only 6 months after my children's father died unexpectedly (1st husband).

Needless to say I don't feel I can afford to "take time off for a while".

Is my career over? I've applied to several positions. The interviews went VERY well. Agency offerred me work, but the main company contract is through, well......you guessed it...the place I just quit. In fact, three agencies to be exact. So not much help there.

I want something permanent, obviously. And where I don't have to feel sick when I go in. Where I don't have to see nurses crying when they leave.

The permanent places I have interviewed say, "If this doesn't work out I have another position I'd LOVE to have you in".....and other very positive, promising comments. Then they say "I'll check your references and be getting back to you. Call us midweek"....and then....nothing.

I KNOW that it's because of my work hx. I know it's my references. I can't not put them down because that is the only nursing experience that I have.

What do I do? What do I say on the interviews? That I know that I won't be getting glowing reviews?

Thinking maybe I should become a Walmart greeter.....

Please help. I messed up and was unprofessional and unreliable.

Is it over for me?

Thank you so much for your input. I've been crying and sick to my stomach for 2 weeks now over this. I appreciate any advice you may have for me.

Sincerely

Emma:o

I've been told that employers cannot give a bad reference no matter what because they can be sued for slander.

I was told just today that prospective companies can no longer ask if the former employee is re-hireable or not. This all came up because of a DON I know of who was fired from her last 2 positions and I wondered how she manages to get new DON positions. One of my closest friends is an HR director for a large home health corporation and that's what she told me.

I don't know if this is in my state or all over the US?

Maybe you need to get out of LTC. Most of them are not ideal places to work. Have you thought about private duty? I did it as an LPN and loved it.

The truth can be spoken without it being slanderous. Your HR friend probably meant that a lot of HR types don't want to risk accusations by former employees.

Hello everyone.

I don't want to make this so long that you have to muddle through it, so I will do my best to keep it as short as possible because I really need some advice.

I'll start by saying....I messed up. Bigtime. I graduated nursing school last July as an LPN. Started working for a skilled nursing facility as a graduate nurse until I got my license. I was very "green", didn't have what I feel I needed orientation wise to be competent to be caring for vented patients, so I asked for help a lot. I didn't appear very confident, and behind my back I got called "dumb blonde nurse", etc....I heard this through my coworkers who were fellow students of mine. They didn't share the opionion, thankfully, but I really felt unwanted there. One night I had a patient (non vented) with rapid resps and tachy. Hx of anxiety, as he was terminal (and very young). I worked midnights. After doing my assessment I decided to call the doctor. Nurse manager said, "You're calling the doctor this late? Just give him a neb treatment and see what he does." (This pt, despite being terminal, was "yes to hospitalization" on advance directives...newly dx'd c lung ca). In the orders, there was NO PRN or scheduled neb tx. And, of course, it's not a standing order. NM looked at me, rolled her eyes and said, "Just give the neb tx". I didn't. I gathered my vitals, and called the physician. He was transfered to the hospital.

That is only one example; there are several more, in which I was treated pretty rotten in my opinion. The nurses there were miserably overworked, understaffed, and in the nursing community this facility is known for being a bad place to work. But...they were the only ones to hire a new grad and I obviously needed experience.

Here's the problem. I turned in a written resignation, after being hired with a new facility under a huge organization. We were under quarantine for the norovirus. CNA's were told they couldn't leave d/t no replacements, despite vomiting and temps over 100. They never called in for agency help or anything. The day after I turned in my TWO week notice, I called and left a voice mail saying, "I just wanted you to accept my resignation effective immediately. Myself and my family are ill and I have to tend to them right now. If you have any questions, please call me."

Onward to the next place of employment. They have (and still do) an ad for RN's and LPN positions; the ad has been there for over a year now, and is on several employment websites in our area. But....I thought, well, at least they have a staffing department. Can't be as bad as the previous place, right? At least this time I had experience and a lot more confidence. Again working midnights, I look around and notice that I have worked several shifts being the only staff nurse. The rest being agency. So I'm the only nurse with access to the pyxis, among other things. But that's ok, because I don't mind helping out others. I appreciate help too when I can get it.

Different place....different problems. But just as, if not moreso, sickening. I see offgoing nurses, in tears giving report. Oncoming are just as upset. Mainly administration type issues.....more work piled on with no additional staff to get it done without submitting overtime. Staffing errors...I was called at 11pm by the house sup asking where I was...when I wasn't on the schedule. Got written up, went to HR and they found the error. But did they remove it from my record...nah.

There are more issues, but I'm still trying to simplify this so I can get to the real problem: I quit. On the phone (I wasn't on duty). The HR person was hollering in my ear (I hadn't been there but 5 months so I wasn't supported by the union just yet), and I said, "Please accept my resignation effective now". She said in an upbeat voice, "Ok".

So.....for all I did there, for all the residents I cared for, all the help I offerred my CNA's, because I care and am willing to lend a hand. For all the times I've heard residents complain about always "seeing new faces" and hearing "Ohhhhh you're my nurse tonight. Oh, good, honey!" I genuinely CARE. I am attentive. I am a strong pt advocate and I stand up for what I believe in. I LOVE NURSING.

But now I have two very poor references.

I'm looking for a new job. My only nursing experience is bad experience. I won't be receiving good references from either place. Particularly the last position, because my attendance was poor d/t my mom's illness. (systemic lupus with many secondary problems and she's only 54...it's hard because I am so close to her.....anyways....).

What do I tell potential employers? They have me sign a form that asks my references specifics like work ethic, attendance, attitude.....the HR people who fill these out never work midnights. They don't know that I've worked 14 hours without taking a break some nights. They don't know that I've caught a lot of potential problems and initiated treatments. They didn't see ANY of the good things I did. But records don't lie. I called in probably 5 times in 5 months. I let them know that my mom was ill and that I take care of her. They just recommended that I take personal leave. Only being on the job 5 months, I can't do that. I need the income. I've since made arrangements for help with my mom, but if anything emergent happens, of course I want to be there.

I have 3 kids. My husband left me (in nursing school still....not working, no income), last May, only 6 months after my children's father died unexpectedly (1st husband).

Needless to say I don't feel I can afford to "take time off for a while".

Is my career over? I've applied to several positions. The interviews went VERY well. Agency offerred me work, but the main company contract is through, well......you guessed it...the place I just quit. In fact, three agencies to be exact. So not much help there.

I want something permanent, obviously. And where I don't have to feel sick when I go in. Where I don't have to see nurses crying when they leave.

The permanent places I have interviewed say, "If this doesn't work out I have another position I'd LOVE to have you in".....and other very positive, promising comments. Then they say "I'll check your references and be getting back to you. Call us midweek"....and then....nothing.

I KNOW that it's because of my work hx. I know it's my references. I can't not put them down because that is the only nursing experience that I have.

What do I do? What do I say on the interviews? That I know that I won't be getting glowing reviews?

Thinking maybe I should become a Walmart greeter.....

Please help. I messed up and was unprofessional and unreliable.

Is it over for me?

Thank you so much for your input. I've been crying and sick to my stomach for 2 weeks now over this. I appreciate any advice you may have for me.

Sincerely

Emma:o

Instead of focusing on YOUR unprofessionalism, report that SUPERVISOR to the Board for telling you to give an un-ordered neb. Of course, she'll deny it. But my point is, in the future, don't let things like that go by. Tell the Sup at the time that you can't be party to that stuff, call her boss at home, or just call a doc on your own.

Take an agency job. It's easier to get, probably, right now for you.

Get your RN and more doors will be open to you.

Don't badmouth your former employers. Read up on the topic you are interested in on places like monster.com and other interviewing board or go to the library and read about it there.

You'll be fine. Don't worry about what they call you. Just do your job and they can gossip away. They're going to anyway so why worry about it?

i would get out of the skilled nursing facilities and get a job in hospital that provides a good orientation

thanks for all the GREAT responses so far.

The frustrating part is that you are not technically supposed to be "negative" on an interview. So, is mentioning fear of losing my license negative? It's truthful. But I also realize that the potential employer is judging whether or not I'd say negative things about them, too. So I plan to try my best to be brief and stay as positive as I can.

Norovirus is the nastiest stomach flu....it's sort of like tossing a coin (which end to put on the toilet), and imagine 15 of your 30+ residents, incontinent, etc. And no extra help. CENA's and I were "s" deep in work those nights...

I am learning a lot, so please keep the suggestions rolling. Thanks for the support and insight!!!!

I think a lot of nurses have experienced this early in their career. Be honest with a prospective employer. Tell them the circumstances, you have a good case for "license in jepardy", and a reputable employer will understand this arguement.

Just tell yourself...........I AM A GOOD NURSE, AND I WILL PROTECT MY PATIENTS NO MATTER WHAT.

Good luck! I can share some other things too if you would like to have a private chat.

Hang in there...........it's uphill from here!

Specializes in Geriatrics, Med-Surg..

I have only worked in one LTC and one retirement home and was horrified at both of them. I would think that it is underatandable that you don't want to risk your licence. I wouldn't judge you at all. Good luck.

Emma ,

I can sense your anguish and I feel for you. I hope you are able to find employment but I sense it may mean paying a few more dues and toughing it out. It sounds like you have been through plenty already and I'm glad you still have a passion for nursing with compassion for your patients.

Getting back to work will take some time, effort and possibly several applications, interviews and rejections. I think, if you can get the distractions in your life minimized you will be successful. I also think up-front honesty will be rewarded by the employers who are really worth working for. In a perfect world, you could get help from extended family with your children so they can feel some sense of normalcy in this chaos. Just a few thoughts but I hope they help. Keep you chin up!

I may be wrong, but it seems to me that you simply say that you felt your license was in jepordy, wouldn't they understand that? You did say that these hospitals were known to be bad places to work, right? At lest then your potential employer would know and maybe not even call for work references (this happened to me before, not as a nurse but in general work).

Good luck!

Chancie

Specializes in Diabetes ED, (CDE), CCU, Pulmonary/HIV.
In my state all the future employer is ask if you were employed the dates you put down. Also, many state do not have unions. I would look hard for a job and run when you see red flags.

That's all they can ask here in FL too

Hi everyone.

Well I just wanted to follow up and let you know what happened this morning at the interview. First off, this is an organization that is highly regarded; I "stroked their ego" by telling them that since having some time off to think about my wants and needs, that I would apply only to those organizations that I felt I wanted to be a part of and contribute to. I started by saying, "Well there is something before we get started; in fact it may answer the 'what are your weaknesses?' question. My nursing career got off to a rough start and I take total responsibility for over-committing myself with family, mainly taking care of my sick mom. As a result, my attendance record was not up to par. I have since worked that out and enlisted help from my siblings and it will no longer pose a problem for employment with me in the future." (I interviewed with an RN and the office manager). Luckily and thankfully, they both looked at each other, nodded and said, "You know what? I admire your HONESTY. It must have been hard to admit that, but you know...what person hasn't had an ill parent to care for? We can all understand and relate to that and thank you very much for your honesty." AND....the interview went VERY well. I feel sooooo good about it. I will just cross my fingers and toes and pray that this all works out.

The other good thing is that she knew my former boss, a physical therapist, whom she had seen for PT for a car accident and she absolutely respected him and his opinion. She said, "As far as references go, we will simply call HIM, then. How's that? I'm sure he'll have nothing but good things to say just as you do about him." HOW AWESOME IS THAT?

I will try my best not to get my hopes up too high. But this was my second interview with them and the woman I interviewed with this morning said the first woman I interviewed with said, "I have this girl I want to send to you for the position to interview and I know you'll just love her." They actually told me that!

Anyway, you all need to know that each and every one of you have offerred helpful advice and I sincerely appreciate it!!!

ALLNURSES NURSES ROCK!!!!

Respectfully,

Emma

Big P.S.

I didn't even have to mention the worry over losing my license. As it turns out, the H.R. Manager worked there for 10 months and quit herself. She's very aware of the situation surrounding both places I worked. So it saved me from having to get into a lengthy explanation and allowed me to focus on my strengths and qualifications. Whew! Here's to hoping this all works out, and to the advice and support from all of you:yelclap:

Glad to read in your update that it is starting to look positive for you. Hope you get this job. Sounds like these would be good people to work for.

Specializes in Emergency, Trauma, Flight.

wishing you the best of luck emma~

:cool:

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