Need Advice. I'm afraid my nursing career is over.

[Emma123]

Hello everyone.

I don't want to make this so long that you have to muddle through it, so I will do my best to keep it as short as possible because I really need some advice.

I'll start by saying....I messed up. Bigtime. I graduated nursing school last July as an LPN. Started working for a skilled nursing facility as a graduate nurse until I got my license. I was very "green", didn't have what I feel I needed orientation wise to be competent to be caring for vented patients, so I asked for help a lot. I didn't appear very confident, and behind my back I got called "dumb blonde nurse", etc....I heard this through my coworkers who were fellow students of mine. They didn't share the opionion, thankfully, but I really felt unwanted there. One night I had a patient (non vented) with rapid resps and tachy. Hx of anxiety, as he was terminal (and very young). I worked midnights. After doing my assessment I decided to call the doctor. Nurse manager said, "You're calling the doctor this late? Just give him a neb treatment and see what he does." (This pt, despite being terminal, was "yes to hospitalization" on advance directives...newly dx'd c lung ca). In the orders, there was NO PRN or scheduled neb tx. And, of course, it's not a standing order. NM looked at me, rolled her eyes and said, "Just give the neb tx". I didn't. I gathered my vitals, and called the physician. He was transfered to the hospital.

That is only one example; there are several more, in which I was treated pretty rotten in my opinion. The nurses there were miserably overworked, understaffed, and in the nursing community this facility is known for being a bad place to work. But...they were the only ones to hire a new grad and I obviously needed experience.

Here's the problem. I turned in a written resignation, after being hired with a new facility under a huge organization. We were under quarantine for the norovirus. CNA's were told they couldn't leave d/t no replacements, despite vomiting and temps over 100. They never called in for agency help or anything. The day after I turned in my TWO week notice, I called and left a voice mail saying, "I just wanted you to accept my resignation effective immediately. Myself and my family are ill and I have to tend to them right now. If you have any questions, please call me."

Onward to the next place of employment. They have (and still do) an ad for RN's and LPN positions; the ad has been there for over a year now, and is on several employment websites in our area. But....I thought, well, at least they have a staffing department. Can't be as bad as the previous place, right? At least this time I had experience and a lot more confidence. Again working midnights, I look around and notice that I have worked several shifts being the only staff nurse. The rest being agency. So I'm the only nurse with access to the pyxis, among other things. But that's ok, because I don't mind helping out others. I appreciate help too when I can get it.

Different place....different problems. But just as, if not moreso, sickening. I see offgoing nurses, in tears giving report. Oncoming are just as upset. Mainly administration type issues.....more work piled on with no additional staff to get it done without submitting overtime. Staffing errors...I was called at 11pm by the house sup asking where I was...when I wasn't on the schedule. Got written up, went to HR and they found the error. But did they remove it from my record...nah.

There are more issues, but I'm still trying to simplify this so I can get to the real problem: I quit. On the phone (I wasn't on duty). The HR person was hollering in my ear (I hadn't been there but 5 months so I wasn't supported by the union just yet), and I said, "Please accept my resignation effective now". She said in an upbeat voice, "Ok".

So.....for all I did there, for all the residents I cared for, all the help I offerred my CNA's, because I care and am willing to lend a hand. For all the times I've heard residents complain about always "seeing new faces" and hearing "Ohhhhh you're my nurse tonight. Oh, good, honey!" I genuinely CARE. I am attentive. I am a strong pt advocate and I stand up for what I believe in. I LOVE NURSING.

But now I have two very poor references.

I'm looking for a new job. My only nursing experience is bad experience. I won't be receiving good references from either place. Particularly the last position, because my attendance was poor d/t my mom's illness. (systemic lupus with many secondary problems and she's only 54...it's hard because I am so close to her.....anyways....).

What do I tell potential employers? They have me sign a form that asks my references specifics like work ethic, attendance, attitude.....the HR people who fill these out never work midnights. They don't know that I've worked 14 hours without taking a break some nights. They don't know that I've caught a lot of potential problems and initiated treatments. They didn't see ANY of the good things I did. But records don't lie. I called in probably 5 times in 5 months. I let them know that my mom was ill and that I take care of her. They just recommended that I take personal leave. Only being on the job 5 months, I can't do that. I need the income. I've since made arrangements for help with my mom, but if anything emergent happens, of course I want to be there.

I have 3 kids. My husband left me (in nursing school still....not working, no income), last May, only 6 months after my children's father died unexpectedly (1st husband).

Needless to say I don't feel I can afford to "take time off for a while".

Is my career over? I've applied to several positions. The interviews went VERY well. Agency offerred me work, but the main company contract is through, well......you guessed it...the place I just quit. In fact, three agencies to be exact. So not much help there.

I want something permanent, obviously. And where I don't have to feel sick when I go in. Where I don't have to see nurses crying when they leave.

The permanent places I have interviewed say, "If this doesn't work out I have another position I'd LOVE to have you in".....and other very positive, promising comments. Then they say "I'll check your references and be getting back to you. Call us midweek"....and then....nothing.

I KNOW that it's because of my work hx. I know it's my references. I can't not put them down because that is the only nursing experience that I have.

What do I do? What do I say on the interviews? That I know that I won't be getting glowing reviews?

Thinking maybe I should become a Walmart greeter.....

Please help. I messed up and was unprofessional and unreliable.

Is it over for me?

Thank you so much for your input. I've been crying and sick to my stomach for 2 weeks now over this. I appreciate any advice you may have for me.

Sincerely

Emma:o

[TazziRN, RN]

"I left my first position because I was instructed by my superior to administer a treatment that had not been ordered. I was not willing to jeopardize my career or my license by doing that."

[DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN]

If your nursing career is as miserable as you are making it sound why on earth would you even want to continue in this field? ultimately you can't blame the jobs for why you are miserable.

The post reeks with negativity.

I don't read your post reeking with negativity. You can blame those two jobs for why you are miserable. I've had good jobs over the past 32 years but I had one bad job and that job nearly cost me my health and my sanity. It was not my fault but definately my responsibilty to get out of there, which I did. You've got enough going on in your life to have to put up with a crap job where you are not appreciated. You can and will find a good job. Do check into Private Duty.

BTW: I would forewarn potential employers that you expect to get a bad reference from your former employers and tell them why up front. Tell them just what Tazzi said. I think they'll appreciate your honesty.

[TazziRN, RN]

I agree, Dutch. My first facility became a very toxic place for me and I was so miserable that I was getting sick all the time and having asthma attacks. In the 8 years since I left there, my nebulizer has actually gotten dusty!

[Emma123]

It also doesn't help to get bogged down in negativity. If your nursing career is as miserable as you are making it sound why on earth would you even want to continue in this field?

There is bad and there is good. There is plenty to gripe and complain about but ultimately you can't blame the jobs for why you are miserable. I've had more than my fair share of being made fun of by others in this profession, you will find no shortage of people who see fit to call you dumb, no matter what you do. You know how to handle it? Go on worrying about your job and leave them to stew over their own insecurities.

The post reeks with negativity. You will have to find satisfaction and self-worth within yourself.

I appreciate your take on it. It does sound negative, probably because I'm feeling negative at the moment. I thought in my post that I mentioned that I love nursing. Love the work. I've managed to find the two worst places to work as a nurse in my area; confirmed by an agency rep that I spoke with. Thus the reason they utilize several agencies; they run out of nurses willing to risk their licensure for that facility.

My issue is how to go on from here. Name calling aside (I know that the world isn't perfect and glorious and everyone will just love me)....I was using that as an example of the low morale there. It wasn't just me being talked about. They did it all the time to each other. Plenty of backstabbing to go around. It does get hard to deal with though that wasn't the reason I ultimately left.

I knew I'd get somewhat "in your face" responses but that is why I posted this. I need real advice and help.

Thank you

[TazziRN, RN]

I appreciate your take on it. It does sound negative, probably because I'm feeling negative at the moment. I thought in my post that I mentioned that I love nursing. Love the work. I've managed to find the two worst places to work as a nurse in my area; confirmed by an agency rep that I spoke with. Thus the reason they utilize several agencies; they run out of nurses willing to risk their licensure for that facility.

Thank you

Um..........hel-LOOOO-ooooo!

[Kelly_the_Great]

Emma,

Have you worked with any nurses who would be willing to give you favorable written letters of recommendation?

Also, looks like you've just been doin' LTC, have you thought about doing something else? Maybe home health or clinic or public health? These environments typically are not as hostile as LTC.

Sorry for what you're going through...

Motorcycle momma's post may not have been as gentle as it could have been...lol But she's got a point, you've had a lot goin' on, loss of husband, loss of children's father, mom sick, and some really crappy jobs, that'd effect anybody's outlook on life. Do seriously think about self healing needs too, dear. :icon_hug:

[Emma123]

Taz and Dutch:

Thanks for the support and the advice on how to portray it to employers. That's been the hardest for me.

I can say I have learned a very, very valuable lesson, and if given the opportunity I wouldn't make that mistake again.

How do you go about private duty?

[TazziRN, RN]

How much experience do you have? Have you thought about home health? I spent 19 years in the ER and after I lost my last job I realized that I am burning out. I am about to be hired by home health and I'm really looking forward to it.

[Emma123]

Um..........hel-LOOOO-ooooo!

Ok, Taz. Ya just made me laugh!

Kell...thank you too for the caring words.

[TazziRN, RN]

Ok, Taz. Ya just made me laugh!

Part of it was this:banghead:

and part of it was this! :lol_hitti

[brookorrn]

I am not a nurse yet, but I have had two jobs where they almost ruined my chances of ever working anywhere again.......one where I got employee of the year in December, 2002 and was pushed off of the job for complaining about a male supervisor rubbing his member on the back of my head while I sat at my desk, 3 months later. I know what you are going through........it is horrible to feel that past employers can "black-ball" you from a chance at a future career. I found that it is best to be honest, show any kind of evidence you may have that you are a good worker and was pushed off of your job either for your safety or your lisence's safety and your future employer will appreciate your honesty. I started my own businesses when I lost my last job and had to learn a lot about hiring and firing employees as both of my businesses consisted of about 10 employees at a time.........your potential employer CANNOT ask anything except would your past employer rehire you. That is it........nation wide! If they are asking or answering anymore than that---they are commiting a crime.......they are black-balling you. The way you can find out what they are saying........have a friend or family member call your past employer and ask questions as tho they are a potential employer trying to hire you.......if they say anything besides whether they would rehire you or not, turn them into Wage An Hour. They legally cannot black-ball you! Don't give up hope, cause you are going to get through this---I promise. Good luck, my Friend-and chin up, you deserve it for caring for someone besides yourself.

[TazziRN, RN]

your potential employer CANNOT ask anything except would your past employer rehire you. That is it........nation wide! If they are asking or answering anymore than that---they are commiting a crime

:banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

Once again........NOT TRUE!!!