My parents don't want me to become nurse but I don't care anymore

Nurses General Nursing

Published

My parents and I are immigrants from Mexico and they hate the idea of me becoming an RN. Now that I've just graduated HS, they are bugging me (even more now than they have in the past) about what I am going to do in life. My parents wanted me to become a Doctor (like a neurosurgeon) and while I thought how cool it would be to become a doctor and how awesome the pay would be, I came to realize a while later that becoming a doctor just wasn't for me. I decided that I want to be a neonatal nurse (my parents disapprove, but whatever, I love babies and I want to help take care of them). They like to put me down and keep telling a bunch of things.

Here are some examples:

-If you become a nurse, we won't pay for your tuition. (Okay, good. I don't want you to. Why do you think I'm applying for scholarships and looking for a job?)

-You won't have a good pay. (Umm, have you gone on the Internet and seen how much the starting salary is in our state? It's a pretty good starting salary.)

-Why would you want to become a nurse when you could become a doctor? Nurses would work for you if became a doctor. (Because I'm not a leader, I'm follower. I'm not good at giving instructions but I'm good at following them.)

-Nurses work long hours. (Umm, I'm pretty sure doctors work longer...)

-You only want to go into nursing because it won't take as long. (Ah, no. It's because I want to be a nurse, not because it's shorter.)

-We won't support you. (Ah, you rarely every support my choices. And besides, I have friends who support me on becoming a nurse because they know it is something they know I want to do.)

But for right now, I'm gonna take a year gap (I desperately need it and senior year was HELL), and get a job at a local Dollar Tree store (my parents hate the idea, but I don't care anymore, I'm done with them ruling my life). After the year gap, I'm going to a technical school and study to become a CNA and then later on to a University to become a neonatal nurse.

My parents keep telling me that I'm making a big mistake but that's just them.

Have any of you ever been through this?

CNA is a 6 unit course. Where I am at, you can do the entire thing in a summer semester (12 weeks). forget the dollar store job and go straight into a CNA class and then work that year as a CNA instead. If you can do 1 science class a semester till you are ready to go to school full time it will really benefit you

No one has to force you down when it comes to decision like marriage and future job. But parents are more aged and have more experience than you do. So think and then take the leap. Becoming a nurse is easier than doctor. you cant compare apple to orange. Doctor category is different. If your parents can afford your doctor degree then I suggest you to take it, coz both are medical profession.

This is how I would recommend approaching your parents:

- express your love and respect for them

- thank them for the sacrifices they made to give you this opportunity

- acknowledge that the advise they are giving you is from love

- acknowledge that their life experiences give them a perspective that you don't have and that they are trying to pass on their wisdom.

- explain that you have a couple years of prereqs to take before you can apply for the nursing program.

These same classes or very similar ones are required for pre-med students, as well as engineering, computer science, dietician, pharmacy, RT, PT, teacher. While you are working on your pre-reqs, you'll keep an open mind and try to find the field that best suits your god given talents.

- while you are taking these gen ed prereqs you are going to get a CNA job. This CNA job will help you find out what a typical day is like for nurses.

- You might discover that you hate dealing with blood, mucuous, stool, sick, whiny patients, stressed irritable families, and demanding management and thus decide nursing isn't really for you.

- you might get to know a radiologist who lets you job shadow which convinces you that you want Med School more than anything.

- you might get to shadow an RT, PT, or RD and decide that RD is the only career for you.

- you might decide that you hate health care and switch to engineering or health care management.

In short in respect for their recommendations, you are going to keep your options open while investigating all job options. When the pre-reqs are completed, you will have more experience to guide you to the job that best utilizes your god-given talents.

Taking this mature, respectful approach might move you and your parents from your extreme positions to a position you can all support. You've shown that you are seriously considering their advice while not giving up on your goal and that you are taking steps to learn more about all possible careers.

Truthly, your experiences in the hospital and your pre-reqs might change your mind.

Specializes in ED.

OP you mentioned you were suffering from depression as well as all the family gunk. I'm thinking that working on your depression for a while and getting that under control would be beneficial to you before starting up in school again. Personally I have depression, am in school, and don't like to take a break from school because the break screws me up. But this could be a good thing for you. Keep with the therapist and figure you out first.

COME JOIN OUR CLUB!!! Your parents want you to be happy and independent. They are worried and they are not alone in not knowing what we nurses do! When I read your post I immediately thought about Jimmy Kimmel and how a "NURSE," and another "NURSE," and so on helped save his son's life. If your parents have not seen the video they should. GOOD LUCK and MUCH SUCCESS!!!

Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.

You are right that nursing is one of the best values you can get for the income to education ratio. It does sound like your parents think that nursing is much more limited than it is. Nurses are more often in the position of leader rather than follower, so you will need to work on those skills, but you have time to do that.

I think your plan is good. You may not need an entire year off from school. I recommend that you get your CNA earlier rather than waiting a whole year. Working as a CNA will give you some insight into the nursing profession. Often your employer will pay for a large part of nursing school. For example, at my hospital, full time employees get 5,000/year in education benefits. Part time employees get 2,500/year. Then you can add community college classes that will count towards nursing as you are comfortable. Start out with one class. See how you do.

Good luck with your parents. I second the idea of gathering info and presenting it to them. Where I live, nurses start out at 32.00/hour, even without a bachelor's degree. There is no other job that I know of that starts out that high without a bachelor's.

Lots of times parents don't realize that kids truly need to make their own path in life; including their own failures, in order to really succeed. If you fail at someone else's idea for you, you don't learn anything from the experience but resentment. If you succeed at someone else's idea for you, you don't enjoy your achievement, and spend it wishing for what might have been.

So go for what you want.

So many things are wrong with your parents frame of mind. You are right, nursing starting salary is good depending on what state you work in. Nurses DO NOT Work for doctors in most instances. You work for the hospital, facility and you are a part of an interdisciplinary team that invloves doctors. Maybe your reasoning for feeling down and depressed is bc your parents put you down. Being a doctor is not all that its cracked up to be anymore. You must have a passion for it bc its alot of school, alot of student loans, long stressful hours and many times they dont get compensated well unless you go into specialties such as surgery, IR etc. I would say go for it and dont listen to what anyone has to say. Its your life and your hapiness.

I became an RN at 39 after a career in administration, & having 2 kids. So I have

5 degrees & some perspective. What your parents are doing is wrong, & for that I am

sorry. If you became a doctor just to make them happy you may be successful but

unhappy & resentful; is that what they want for you? As a lifelong student, parent, career

changer, who is not done yet, here is my advice:

DO NOT TAKE A YEAR OFF! You will not be attractive to colleges, unless you plan to spend that year

on a mission trip or in the Peace Corps! And it will be really hard to get back into the

groove if you stop. Get a job at the dollar store but START your nursing pre-reqs at

community college even if it's only one at a time. THEN get a job as a CLERICAL person on a nursing unit,

if you can. (Many places interchange techs & clerks anyway). I say this only bc techs/RNs work their

butts off & going to school at the same time is hard.

Then, work towards your RN/ASN & LET YOUR EMPLOYER pay for it!

PLEASE for the love of god, don't get married/have a kid till you're an RN! LOL!

Going to school at night with 2 little ones almost cost me my marriage & I have extreme guilt for the neglect

towards my kids while I did homework. And I didn't work while I went to school!

Work full time, go to school part time, once you have your ASN, work towards your BSN....

then your NP & you will practically BE a doctor!! TAKE THAT MOM & DAD!!!

You will make good money & not have the heavy physical labor of a bedside nurse.

I wanted to become an NP but after 10 yrs at the bedside I am shot, & too old & burnt

out. But if you are young GO FOR IT! The sky is the limit! If you don't want to be an NP, go into

management, become an educator, teach college, go into informatics, work for insurance

co's, become a sales rep for medical equipment........or do legal consulting!!

The last thing I will say is this: nursing school is HARD. It's not for dummies, no offense.

BEING a nurse is HARD. IT IS NOT FOR SISSIES.

Specializes in Behavioral Health.

My dad, a Nigerian immigrant, was the same way except for me it was about joining the Army after high school. All he wanted me to do is be a doctor. It caused a lot of problems between them. I eventually had to do what I wanted to do with my life and so will you.

It may help is you educate them about nurse practitioners even if you don't want to be one. Tell them you'd rather pay your way through school and make approximately 100,000 without any debt. Also, inform them that it's no real guarantee that you'll be a highly paid doctor. You could be a family doc making 150,000 with hundreds of thousands in debt.

I am a firm believer in being a follower of our own dreams, not in the dreams of others. If you want to take a year off to find yourself, there is nothing wrong with that. Just remember that a year comes and goes very quickly, so I would suggest beginning the enrollment process into a CNA program so that you could work as a CNA while in nursing school. This would give you an advantage by securing a position in a hospital which would likely hire you as an RN after you take your nursing boards.

You are correct, doctors work way more hours than us nurses. And they never have off. Not until they are well established which takes many years to achieve. I am sorry that you feel unsupported by your parents. They love you and want the absolute best for you and sometimes this blinds us to our child's happiness. Just follow your dreams and everything else will fall into place.

Many blessings to you. May your journey be an adventure and may your adventure take you to places most only dream of. :)

I became a nurse, now an np... I make 150k since the age of 28. I have no debt as I only accrued 30k both grad and undergrad combined. So basically my return on investment going into nursing has been incredible. I have no student loans, I'm thirty now and living a very financially secure life. I have physician friends who wish they went this route. But this again is a non issue: go to a school that covers your tuition, room and board. There are multiple just do a google search. And find scholorships to schools like the suny Alfred state.

Specializes in SICU,CTICU,PACU.

i think it is so great that you know what you want to do and are strong willed about it, good for you. nursing is a great profession and you will have a nice life. taking a year off is also great in my opinion. you have your whole life ahead of you, enjoy your youth and save some money if you can. best of luck!

+ Add a Comment