Hi everyone and thanks to the people who are going to respond to my story,
I just graduated and took the NCLEX exam 5 months ago. I got hired into this new nursing job. I thought I will learn a lot and will have some great experience in this floor. I got hired right after the interview and I thought they like me even I totally honest with them that I do not have any experience at all and I graduated in a one year college. My nursing educator was nice, but really busy. I almost finish my 3 months orientation and only see her like 2 times. I had a preceptor in my first week. In my first day I did wrong medication error and then she help me how to solve the problem. I was glad and learn it. Then she did not go over what type of things I need to work on or ask me what is my opinion on how to improve myself. Second week, I had another preceptor. I thought she will be nice to me as my first preceptor. My first week with her I almost lost my confident and cried every night. She asked me how do I know someone with DVT. I told her that homan sign will tell you and then she asked what screen will tell you. I told her I do not know. Really honest, I did not know. She told me that ultrasound. Up to this point this is great and I learn something new. Then she told me how I pass my NCLEX, how I pass my english class because she said that I had bad grammar
and sentence structure. I felt so bad and I was about to cry in that floor that day. I couldn't believe people are that mean. She told me that my first preceptor told her that I did a wrong medication mistake and I did one for her as well. I did a wrong medication mistake with insulin. They have some new injection and I make a biggest mistake I ever done. I did not done something like that in school at all. I was always so good in my medication at school. In this floor, I was constantly busy with 5-6 patients. One discharge and then one admission. Sometimes, two discharge and two admissions. We had really high acuity and hospice patients. My perceptor will turn around and started to talk to other nurses about me like things I do not know and things that I had done wrong. Which make me feel that really unhappy because I was still there just in another corner and she thought I was not there and start talking about me.
I felt so incompetent in that floor compared to everyone who already work there for like 15+ years of medical experience. They told me that I just need to critical think and experience should nothing to do with critical thinking.
I know I should call the doctor when I saw something is wrong, it is really busy and I need to catch up with the medication and then patients call the pain medication every hour or two.
May 4, '09
Thanks your guys emotional support.
Last edit by HNursing on May 4, '09
May 5, '09
Thanks everyone for so supporting,
I quit the job. Well, not welling to quit, but they only give that option to me. They wait until my preceptor not there and my manager told me in front of this other lady what I did wrong and nothing great about me. I was really upset because he only listen to one side of the story. All he said were things that I listed up there. That like one month ago and then he told me that he told someone to evaluated me and I did not described my patient well. I was so almost argued with him, but then I felt it is all right because he already want to fire you when he welling to listen to your problem. If these people welling to listen to your problem. They already help you long time ago. I am so unhappy. It is my first job and I thought I can support my family with this job. It felt really harsh and he told me that I can not apply for job in the system.
But I still want thanks so much for everyone who so supportive and understanding of me. I am glad there are nice people out there. Just wish I can find a job soon before the medical bill comes. Then deal with some out side stress from family of my side and my fiance's side. All I can said I went into a really bad environment, but in that really bad environment I learn something and there are really nice patients who love me and bring me present.
Last edit by HNursing on May 5, '09