My mother is embarassed that I'm going to be a nurse...

[iriska_meller]

Imagine that... For her that is a sign of underachievement, that her beloved daughter is going to be carrying out someone else's orders and emptying bedpans.

She is actually very supportive of my learning, helping me with childcare and such, but she wants me to immediately go on to become at least an NP. Anything less would be a shame and a waste of my talents. I told her - why don't you tell others that I am a brain surgeon if it makes you feel better? But apparently, its her inner shame that's bothering her. Even if she only means it as a way to stimulate me to continue my education, it still hurts a great deal...

Thanks for listening........ reading, that is :)

[Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP]

Honey, the issue is hers, not yours. If nursing is really what you want to do, go for it and do not let anyone, ANYONE stand in your way. What counts is that YOU have achieved your own goals, not someone else's goals for you.

NP is not for everyone and not a decision to be made lightly. Chin up, and listen to YOU.

[AliRae]

My uncle is a physician. He's given me nothing but grief since I started nursing school. Now, 2 years into it and a great PICU nurse (if I do say so myself), he continues to harass me whenever we talk. His main point is that I've "wasted my intelligence" by becoming a nurse. He says it's just in fun, but I agree with you- it's not funny.

The best way I've found to shut him down? Either ignoring his comments completely, or asking him whether he'd REALLY like to be working with unintelligent, unmotivated uncaring nurses. He usually shuts up and thinks about that one for a little while at least.

You're going to get comments like that from lots of people who have no idea what nursing these days really means. If I could get my uncle to be a fly on the wall during any shift that I work, I think he'd be mighty surprised at how much responsibility and authority really does fall on these shoulders of mine. After all, the docs are only in the room for maybe 15 minutes out of my 12 hour shift.

But, alas, we can't kidnap them all and bring them along to job shadow us. At the end of the day, I know what I bring to my profession, and I know what I bring to my kiddos. Safe, quality care and advocacy. And that's all that matters.

[mauxtav8r]

I'm so sorry about your situation with your mom.

My situation was so similar . . . I remember my mom's advice to me about careers "You can do anything. But don't learn to type or that's all you'll ever do. And don't be a nurse or you'll spend your life making beds."

So, I was a paralegal for a long time and now I'll graduate with a BSN in just a few months.

Not that I wanted to aggravate her. It's just the way things worked out.

[puppylover81]

I went through the same thing 3 years ago when I told my mom that I was changing majors (Pre-Veterinary) to Nursing. She actually hung up on me.

I cried for days, and I felt very alone in my decision. Eventually I confronted her again and told her this was MY dream, my decision, and my education (and my money/loans for my education). NOT hers.

So 3 years later and strangely enough, she has no recollection of ever being ashamed or telling me I'm wasting my talent/intelligence/etc...

She tells everyone how proud she is of me and what a great career it is...how she's proud that I'm going to graduate with honors...and be the first RN in our family.

So, make sure your mom knows that this is about YOU and not her.

[Ms Kylee]

Oh, I remember this conversation so well... Mine is embarrassed that I'm going the LPN route first... "Because, as you know, LPN means Lowest Paid Nurse". She thinks I'm wasting money because I already have a BS degree, and I should have "just gone on and gotten your RN". Never mind I told her till I was practically purple in the face that I could not get any BSN nursing classes at night or to work with my work schedule. The LPN program I am in is part time, nights and weekends. My place of employment will pay 100% for me to go into the LPN to RN program when I'm finished. After putting up with her little comments for months, I sat her down and said "I'm going to explain this to you one more time... this is how it is going to be... " And then I said 25K is not going to drop out of the magic money box in the sky for me to live on while I do what she wanted me to do, and if she wanted to loan me 25K for me to live on for a year, I'd be more than happy to quit working and get my BSN. She hasn't said anything about it since... and after my first week of LPN school, I got a card in the mail from her saying congratulations, and that she was proud of me.

[AngelsRN]

I remember this well . . .when I graduated high school and wanted to be a nurse, I was not encouraged, it was demeaning and then even told I was not smart enough. So I got a BA, a MA, and a certification after that . . .and where am I now . . a nurse. And when I graduated nursing school and passed my boards my mother said "what exactly do you do now?" It was almost as if she was hoping I was something other than "a nurse."

[leslie :-D]

if we were all independently wealthy, we could invite our moms to attend nsg school with us.

i think they would be eating their words shortly thereafter...

once they got a sense of what nsg really entailed.

my mom always had dreams of me becoming a lawyer.

one day, she met me at work and waited for me to be done.

to this day i don't know what transpired, but she later cried and told me she could never do what i do...

and how proud she was of me.

after that, she started bragging about me.

it's always important to remain true to oneself,

even to the chagrin of others.

you are your own person, and not an extension of your mother.

i know you realize that.

in time, she will too.

keep on moving forward.

even if your mom doesn't come around, there will be so many others who will be grateful you did.

leslie

[suanna]

My father could never use the word "nurse". I was his son that worked with the doctors in the heart surgery department. He did once ask me how long I had to be a nurse before they promoted me to doctor?- I told him a very long time. Do what you want, enjoy what you do, and let the rest of the world go pound salt. Would I become a nurse to knowing what I know now?- (23yrs in) prob. not. Would I even consider becoming a doctor because of someone elses expectations of me - never- I'm the one who who has to walk that path.

[brookorrn]

You have to do what will make you happy. I have worked so many jobs that I absolutely detested because I was trying to "please" someone else due to prestige or whatever..........life is way tooo short to spend it trying to please someone else......even your mother. I loved my Mom dearly (she is deceased now), and so I did whatever she thought "was best for me", even though I did not like it. Now I am almost 40 years old, and regreting that I did not do something in the past for me. I have wanted to be a nurse since I was about 6 years old, but never pursued it due to my Mom's embarassment about it, now, I am finally fulfilling that longing. My regret.........I did not do it when I was younger. Hang in there, either she will come around and decide she is proud of you, or she will just accept the fact that you are doing what you feel is right, no matter what, she will always be your mom and you will always be her child. If she is a good Mom, she will love you no matter what you do.

[november17, ASN, RN]

How is an NP better than a floor RN anyways? If you're happy with what you are doing, what does it matter?

[HealthyRN]

I have no doubt that your mother has no idea what a nurse today really does. Maybe you could sit down with her and have a chat about the realities of nursing and the impact that you will have on the lives of your patients. Be proud of what you are doing and let your mother know that this is the path you want to follow and you would appreciate her support and encouragement.