Management Euphamisms....add yours now! - page 2

I got inspired for this thread by the one on Admin Support. Let's all post those management euphamisms that we all know and love. I am sure many people have plenty to share. I'll start ... ... Read More

  1. by   NurseTami
    Aww man, I thought you were looking for the terms we use to describe our managers!!!

    Here' s mine anyway>>>

    The wicked ***** of 6 West !!!!!!!
    The other girls call her Attila the Hun
  2. by   swkbmckay
    Are you new or are you burned out? Where's your heart?
  3. by   Stargazer
    P_RN, this
    "Don't work harder, work smarter" translates as

    "I get to go home at 3 and you don't 'cause I think you are dumb as a bag of hammers. And whatever you do, I can find fault with it tomorrow."
    made me laugh.

    There is a similar thread on another website BB on which I post. The below quote is ever so slightly off-topic, but it made me spew Diet Coke all over my computer keyboard:
    At my last job, a co-worker and I survived an all-day all-hands meeting by taking down particularly hilarious things said by our CEO (most of them out of context, which makes them much funnier) and using them as catchphrases. At least for the next couple of weeks, after which we were all laid off.

    Among the gems:

    - Huge sucking sound
    - We're never going to quite get there
    - What we've lived through isn't reality
    - We know what we suck at
    - We've got to be willing to screw up
    - We need you to kill the snake
    - Execute, execute, execute!
    - Look big!
    - Sit around and do the vision thing

    I just like saying "(company name): We know what we suck at".
    Personally, I am going to have "We need you to kill the snake" made into a t-shirt in order to be entertained by people's reactions.
  4. by   MollyJ
    Mission statements
    Team Building
    Strategic Planning........
    To me, though interesting, alll of these are just huge exercises in creating heat without light, motion without action
  5. by   willie2001
    How about "cross trained". We have a nurse manager who likes to brag about how so many of our nurses are "cross trained". In my mind that is just like saying "a jack of all trades and master of none".
  6. by   hoolahan
    Tami, that made me crack up!

    When my dtr was about 4 or 5, I took her with me one day to get my paycheck, and as we were walking into the building, she asked me if she the "wicked witch" was going to be there. I almost choked! You see, my kids would cry and cry if they knew I had to work (didn't bother them if they were already alseep when I left for nights, but eves....ay yi yi), so to take the heat off of myself, I would said the mean old witch (well, I didn't like that manager too much, BTW, she is the big snake we have to get rid of, LOL), was making me work. All I can say is THANK GOD she didn't ask me that in front of the manager!!!! I think I would have gone straight to the top of the **** list!!

    So, don't say it in front of your kids, they will repeat it when you least expect or want them to. Fortunately I was able to go right back out the main entrance and we took a little walk to discuss how mommy's boss wasn't really a wicked witch! I ran in, got my check, and ran right out again. Didn't take my dtr with me for a very long time after that!!
  7. by   ChemoRN

    Somehow this should explain why we don't have a band aid anywhere on the unit!?!?

    How about - We all need to keep a positive attitude.
    translation - "I'm positive your job stinks"

    "I used to be very good at starting IV's"
    translation - "I did it once in 1979, then decided patient care was for people like you"

    MollyJ - I always though team building was appropriate - after all aren't we in some sort of contact sport?
  8. by   MRed94
    How about.......

    "Come and see me when you have a minute, later"

    Means, "Oh boy, are you in DEEEEEEP doodoo!"

  9. by   Ted
    About five years ago at a hospital I used to work for, nursing management said that they were going to do some "Right Sizing" . . .

    Whole floors/units were closed, and some people were "Right Sized" out of a job!!!

    Ted Fiebke
  10. by   Jenny P
    "Sorry, you're going to have to work 2 nurses under tonight" (in CV-ICU!) means "You will be able to take 3 more crashing patients, won't you?"
    "Your HPPD is off" (Hours per patient day) means that you have too much staff to care for your very sick patients so I will not give you any extra staff, even though your nurse patient ratio stinks.
  11. by   kimberle
    Are you new or are you burned out? Where's your heart?
    I know there is burn out, but I think a lot of responses are just reality based. I know it's getting crazier out there with the potential liabilities, pt./family expectations(I had a pt. go nuts because I didn't have a hair dryer for her hair, while I'm trying to explain to her husband why he should not be "fixing" her chest tubes.), and insurance limitations. I think I still have heart, but my eyes will be wide open too!
  12. by   mosrnc
    Boy, I laughed when I read these and then realized I could fall into a deep depression if I ever believe them! There is a hard reality to the stuff that managers/administrators attempt to get a way with.

    This is from a fortune cookie and I have it taped to my name badge. I have been wearing it for years:

    "A liar is not believed even though he tell the truth"

    Not much can be done for those who cry wolf.
  13. by   spudflake
    Okay, okay. As a manager I recognized way too many of these and admit that I have used some but not all I once made the error of telling one of my staff to try to keep a positive attitude. She told me "Oh yeah, I'm positive..I'm positive I have an attitude!" There are things managers CAN do and things we just can't. It's a thankless job and mostly no win. If you do something to help the staff, you tick off the bigwigs and if you do something to help the bigwigs, you tick off the staff. The only thing left is to come up with these stupid sayings that mean NOTHING