Love in the OR

  1. I recently entered into an intense relationship at work with an anesthetist I have worked with for 3 years. We have always been close, and have worked together as partners, so we thought no one would notice the change in our relationship. Wrong! Although we make it a point not to touch inappropriately or disappear together at work, people can tell when a man and a woman are in love. Within 2 weeks, our small hospital was abuzz with the gossip about our affair, and many people have the nerve to approach me about it.

    I know that our jobs are not in jeopardy as long as we conduct ourselves professsionally, but the gossip is stressing me out. How should I handle this situation?
  2. Visit VictoriaG profile page

    About VictoriaG

    Joined: Jul '99; Posts: 54; Likes: 2
    OR charge nurse


  3. by   Youda
    Wow! I wish I had some great advice for you, but it's been so long since I've been in love . . . I'm not sure I'd know how to ACT, let alone give anyone else ideas!
  4. by   psychonurse
    It can be stressful when you are in a relationship with a co-worker, I was there a few years ago when I was working at a smaller facility and I got involved with one of the officers that I worked with. It is hard when other people start to see the change in your relationship. There have been other times that I was just good friends with officers and people thought that we were involved. I am so glad that I am now involved with someone that isn't even in the same work as I am cause I couldn't handle it anymore. I don't know what to say to you other than if you care about each other keep it up and don't worry about the small stuff and when the time is right make a bigger commitment to each other. Sonya
  5. by   BadBird
    I would ask the gossips, "just what makes you think my personal life is any of your business?" Just remember that a month from now the gossips will be talking about someone else.
  6. by   sunnygirl272
    all i have to say is "good luck"...
  7. by   gambroRN
    As long as y ou both conduct yourselves professionally at work - there is nothing to worry about. I hate gossip!!! Nobody likes to feel that people are talking about them. All I can say is that these gossipers must not have much to talk about in their own lives and so their focusing their attention on you - SO - IGNORE THEM AND ENJOY YOUR NEW RELATIONSHIP - BEST WISHES - BE HAPPY
  8. by   kids
    My "supportive" reply has been deleted.

    My husband and I are currently in counselling due to his involvement outside of our marriage.

    Had you been truthful about the facts in your initial post I would have ignored it...but since you neglected to mention that he has been what amounts to secretly seperated from his WIFE for 2 years I have something I do want to say: what goes around comes around, I just wish I was there to watch them tear you both to pieces, I hope by the time they are done talking about the 2 of you that neither of you has the gall to show your faces again.
    Last edit by kids on Oct 29, '02
  9. by   Y2KRN
    Hello Victoria,

    I worked in a small hospital, in the operating room. I was a surgical tech. at the time and very young. One of Anesthesiologists and one of techs started a relationship. I was never soo embarrassed to see how mean co-workers could be to eachother.

    My co-workers and theirs were just awful to them. The rumors flew and some of the techs got down right cruel. It went so far that one of the nurses who circulated a case with myself and my friend the other tech both scrubbed in on, lied to our nurse manager and when our nurse manager didn't handle the situation and lie the way she wanted she went to the DON (who by the way, did not have any real input into the OR). We had this huge meeting about how their relationship was affecting the OR and staff blah blah, blah, blah, blah. I stood up and said I had never seen anything inappropriate and was never uncomfortable in their presence. I did not see my job or their job performace jepordized in anyway and stormed out of the room.

    The OR tech left the hospital evenutally, the relationship did not work out. But, what goes around does come around. That particular Circulator who lied about an occurance in the OR, was caught in an occurance by me!! I caught her in one of our walk in supply closets with an Orthopeadic Surgeon and I did go to management. Because, I was uncomfortable and felt that the rest of that call in case was awful to get through and put more stress on my job!!!

    I say forget the gossips, enjoy your relationship. As long as it doesn't bother your partner, don't let it bother you. I found the OR one of the hardest places to work due to gossiping!!! It is terrible what a few people who have to work soo close together and as a team can do to one another. It just takes one truely bad apple to ruin the bushel.

    Good-luck to you, keep your chin up and enjoy being in love!!

  10. by   stinkin1styear
    :chuckleFirst of all you have to remember that their opinions count for NADA, so who the hell cares. Then You can start to have fun and see what crazy gossip you can create about yourself and see how far it spreads. If you can get the first step right you can really get some fun out of the second.:roll
  11. by   nursnancy
    OK, I'm obviously going to be in the minority with this opinion, but, if you are certain that neither of your jobs will be in jeopardy if you conduct yourselves professionally, why not just tell your co-workers that you are dating? It seems to me that the truth might help to put a halt to speculative rumors. If there is no mystery, they may lose interest in the subject.
  12. by   monkijr
    Here's one of my favorite lines. " What am I doing that makes it easier for you to talk about me, rather than to me?"

    Then, tell them the truth, it'll stop, because something else or someone else will come along. Good luck.
  13. by   LasVegasRN
    Originally posted by VictoriaG
    ...Within 2 weeks, our small hospital was abuzz with the gossip about our affair, and many people have the nerve to approach me about it.
    Did I miss something or by saying "our affair" are you saying you two are having an extramarital affair?
  14. by   Gomer
    I have to the good doctor married?