I'm just trying to help you!

Nurses General Nursing

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

Well, this weekend I found myself charge nurse, working with 3 LPN's (two of them hired within the last month), and one RN. The "charge nurse" idea is fairly new to us, since our staff is mostly RN. So, this weekend I was given 2 patients so I could be available to assist the LPN's with admits, and give IV pushes, and basically just be there for backup, since it is a very new staff. The RN I was working with has been a nurse for 6 years, but has only worked at our facility for the past 4 or 5 months. And I have never worked with anyone like her before. She gets offended when anyone helps her! It blows my mind. And she always runs around, as momma would say, like a chicken with its head cut off. Stressed, and anxiety high--whether she has 1 patient or 7. And I can't help but try to help someone that obviously in need of it.

So, yesterday, she had two discharges. She I wrote up all the paperwork. She walked by the desk, and I told her the patients were d/c and I was going to remove IV's and give them paperwork. She put her hands on her hip and informed me she was more than capable of doing her own work, thank you. I told her I was just trying to help, since that was my job today. She actually said "fine, thanks a lot, but I'll discharge them myself". I think a lot of her attitude comes from her previous facility, because the nurses there seemed very backstabbing (I did many many clinicals there). But on the other hand, if you don't make an effort to help her, she will make comments about how easy the rest of us seem to have it compared to her. I've tried to explain that is because the rest of us help one another.

I just hate not to help her if she needs help, but I hate to get her attitude as well. Most of the staff has given up trying to help her. I've just never seen anyone act like that when you try to assist them.

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some people are really hard to work for

if you want to make some effort to keep the workplace in some kind of pleasantry try a few things

1] talk to her in off times and become friendly with her on a one to one

basis

2] ask HER for help with a patient and tell her that you owe her one

sometimes the most you can do is to tolerate someone but it makes coming to work a more pleasant time if no one has a chip on their shoulder

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Specializes in Nursing Home ,Dementia Care,Neurology..

Well looks like you've got one of life's 'little martyrs' there! Always trying to do it all but then complaining if no one helps.I've got one as well.:icon_roll

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There was a nurse at my old job that I tried to help so she could go home on time. She just got upset, so I quit trying to help her. I quess she needed the "overtime money" so didn't want any help.:(

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Specializes in Emergency Room.

i have worked with nurses like that before. darned if you do and darned if you don't. this may sound bad..but i wouldn't help her unless it was really necessary and when she starts to moan about it just let her know you are available but she never accepts help. if she wants the help she needs to shut up and accept it or don't accept it and drown.

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There's one I work with that freaks out/overreacts whenever ANYTHING is going on. Then at the end of shift is huffing and puffing saying "I've got soooo much charting to do!" But if she'd just be quiet sometimes instead of talking so much she'd get her work done with plenty of time to spare. It amuses me when she runs around daily saying "I've got to save lives today." I mean, yes, that does happen but to be so dramatic about it... KWIM?

She creates so much drama in her life it's sickening... I've learned that to work with her one needs to ignore her even though it's hard.

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Specializes in Telemetry.

Just leave her alone and help those that would like the help. You tried.

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Specializes in Peri-op/Sub-Acute ANP.

Sounds to me like it could be one of two things:

1) She is "one of those", or

2) She has REALLY been burned!

Take her out after shift one day and buy her a drink. Let her know that you have a great facility and everyone pulls together without all the backstabbing and nastiness that she may be used to. If she mellows out, great. If the pattern continues, you got yourself a "one of them". It will cost you a drink, but at least you will know.

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I don't like people helping me without asking.

In your example; maybe she knew they were discharged et had already done the discharge teaching. So if you would have gone in there to do it, it would have been a waste of your time, and to the pt the floor would have looked very disorganized. And even if not; were you going to write the discharge note, too? Or was she going to have to go through the paperwork, to see what sort of teaching you did, and write a discharge note that was essentially second hand? Maybe she felt it was more work than help to have you do the discharge?

Sometimes when people help me, it does more harm than good. Messes with my rhythm, you know? If I'm really running around like crazy, and someone asks "How can I help you, Jean?" I'll say something like "If you have time, could you give the HS meds in 309? Thanks." But it makes me feel out of control if someone just comes up and says "Oh, Dr. K wrote new orders on your gal in 339; I saw you were busy so I noted them and gave the now meds." *I* like to do those things for my pts. *I* need to know what's going on with the physician's orders, my pt's condition and the plan of care.

So my recommedation: ASK the nurse how you can help her. Something like "I'm done with my assessments and med passes. I noticed your team looked pretty heavy. Is there anything I can do for you right now?"

If she wants to be a martyr, let her. But it could be that she just wants to keep tabs on all her pts and do the care herself.

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Specializes in cardiac, ortho, med surg, oncology.

I totally agree with queenjean

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Specializes in Med-Surg.
I don't like people helping me without asking.

In your example; maybe she knew they were discharged et had already done the discharge teaching. So if you would have gone in there to do it, it would have been a waste of your time, and to the pt the floor would have looked very disorganized. And even if not; were you going to write the discharge note, too? Or was she going to have to go through the paperwork, to see what sort of teaching you did, and write a discharge note that was essentially second hand? Maybe she felt it was more work than help to have you do the discharge?

Sometimes when people help me, it does more harm than good. Messes with my rhythm, you know? If I'm really running around like crazy, and someone asks "How can I help you, Jean?" I'll say something like "If you have time, could you give the HS meds in 309? Thanks." But it makes me feel out of control if someone just comes up and says "Oh, Dr. K wrote new orders on your gal in 339; I saw you were busy so I noted them and gave the now meds." *I* like to do those things for my pts. *I* need to know what's going on with the physician's orders, my pt's condition and the plan of care.

So my recommedation: ASK the nurse how you can help her. Something like "I'm done with my assessments and med passes. I noticed your team looked pretty heavy. Is there anything I can do for you right now?"

If she wants to be a martyr, let her. But it could be that she just wants to keep tabs on all her pts and do the care herself.

That may be the problem for her, but the problem for me is that her patients end up suffering for that attitude. I know patients don't get turned often on her shift, as patients families have complianed to me when I went in the room because the pump was alarming, or some other reason. Often she doesn't pass AM meds until close to lunch. I've been in patients rooms to pass lunch trays, to find them dirty with family upset stating they "told the nurse at 1000 she was dirty". Sometimes, even if you feel that way, you have to give up a little for the sake of good patient care if you are not able to do what is needed. And it is not a case of over worked, understaffed. We usually run a 4:1 patient to nurse ratio on our floor.

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Specializes in Case Management.

I think you did the right thing trying to help. Now that you know how your good intentions are received, you should let her do it all on her own. Continue to make offers but don't waste your time and energy on 'poor little me" who apparently has a problem with your help.

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