I'm back after a long time!

  1. Hello Everyone,
    I have been gone from this site for the better part of 2 years. During this time I have been fighting for my licence, and in doing so questioning why I ever became a Nurse. I was accused of the 3 most terrible things a nurse could be accused of, 1. abuse, 2. neglect, and 3. falcification of documentation. I am please to say the BON found me innocent on all charges using the "evidence" that the company sent to hang me with (and I have the letter to prove it!!). How these charges happened?? A brand spanking new DON decided she didn't like me, so from her 1st day on the job she was after me. What made her angry with me?? Her very 1st order was for "All Nursing Staff" to leave thier floors for a meet & greet with her. I refused to leave my unit, I had too many patients who were high fall risks and elopement risks. So my fate was set, by doing what I thought was right for my patients I ran afoul of a person attempting to "prove" her power. It took her 6 months and 4 Nurses looking over everything I did on a daily basis to gather what she felt was evidence to remove my licence from me. I suffered financial ruin, loss of reputation, stress related illness, and self doubt.

    What have I learned from all this?? Many things, most not so good.

    1. Don't trust anyone! even your "friends" at work will turn on you to impress the new boss & keep thier jobs.
    2. If you are good at what you do, you probably have a big target on your back, so try to do things behind the scenes and don't let others know how good you are.
    3. Do your job to the best of your abilities, protect your patients, and duck when the muck starts to fly.
    4. Don't do extra work, even if it would make your job easier.
    5. There are good Nurses who work together as a team (thier just hard to find around here)

    Was (am) I perfect?? No, I am human, I make mistakes like everyone else. But I will and do own up to any mistakes I make and learn from them. Do I run to the bosses when I find another Nurses mistake?? Not unless it is a danger to the patient. If it's not dangerous, I let the Nurse know what I found and give her the chance to correct the mistake or at least own up to it on her own.

    Am I a better Nurse because of what I went thru?? I really question that, part of me says yes and part says no. I am more aware of what I do that can be used against me, and therefore am more careful in what I do. At the same time it makes me question every move I make.

    Am I going to stay in Nursing?? Jury's still out on that. I love my patients, I try my best to help them physically, mentally and emotionally. I worry what type of Nurse will take care of them if I leave. But, I'm not sure how long I can continue working while watching my back and waitting for the next person to come along who decides I'm a threat to them.

    Am I bitter?? YES!!, but I try very hard not to let it show to my patients or co-workers. Not an easy task I assure you.

    I was very lucky, I found a ADON who had worked for the same place & with the New DON (before she became the DON) and knew what she was like. The ADON chose to ignore the charges against me & give me a position in her staff. The Nurse's I work with had no idea what I was going thru, but, felt something was going on. They have been very understanding, giving me support without knowing why it was needed. Because of them, I am able to work on the stress/mental problems this mess left me with. In time I may heal, but I will never be the Nurse I feel I was meant to be.

    It is so easy to destroy a Nurse's confidence in herself. And sometimes so difficult to help build it. I ask each and everyone of you to PLEASE!!! think twice before you go after another Nurse. Ask yourself what your reasons for the attack are. If they are fear based, try to understand your fear, deal with it. If you attack to impress your boss, leave Nursing, your not in it for the right reasons. If however, the Nurse is actually a "bad" nurse, follow procedures to help her learn to be better, or at least make her aware of her actions.

    Wish me luck on my road to recovery! Pray that I will continue to make the best decisions for my patients.
  2. Visit gentlegiver profile page

    About gentlegiver

    Joined: Mar '07; Posts: 897; Likes: 1,597
    LPN; from US
    Specialty: Geriatrics


  3. by   Tina, RN
    Oh my goodness... You have really been through hell. I am so thrilled that you have been found innocent of all charges. Nothing but the very best wishes to you in your future!!
  4. by   fungez
    Yikes. I worked in a similar environment once. The boss, who was a real weirdo, liked to play head games and used "divide and conquer" techniques to pit people against each other. Her own insecurity talking. She only had a ASN (no knocking it, so do I) and she got threatened around really competent people.

    If you feel like it, could you post about your experience in going up against the BON?
  5. by   onetiredmomma
    thank you for sharing your story. Blessings to you as you try to move on from this.
  6. by   gentlegiver
    Quote from fungez

    If you feel like it, could you post about your experience in going up against the BON?
    Still getting used to being "innocent". But give me a bit of time and I will. Let me just say that to the BON you are Quilty until you prove yourself inncoent.
  7. by   lifelearningrn
    Do you have any legal recourse since they were falsely accusing you with the intent of removing your license and destroying your financial future. It seems to me that people shouldn't be able to get away with ruining a career out of spite.
  8. by   shoegalRN
    I am so sorry this happened to you. As a new nurse, this is something I worry about constantly.

    Since you have been proven innocent, you can sue that DON for slander, deframation of character, and emotional distress?

    I don't think anybody should get away with ruining someone's career based on spite, envy, and jealously.
  9. by   caliotter3
    I too have suffered at the hands of a former employer and had to have an attorney intervene with mixed results. It hurts when they go after your very livelihood. Take satisfaction in your victory. Seek legal redress if possible. And try to mend as best you can. You will never be the same as you were before this happened, I can assure you of that, but you will survive this and it won't be so easy to get you again.
  10. by   Lizzy88
    "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" ...chin up and glad you got out if this situation
  11. by   PostOpPrincess
    In these United States of America..how does this **** happen???????????
  12. by   CrunchRN
    I am so glad you prevailed and it is soooo wrong that this continues to happen. I think the BON needs to prosecute them for abusing the system the way they did.
  13. by   TipitiwichitRN
    I am so sorry this has happened to you. I am afraid of having this problem.. it just seems that you never know who you can trust. Even the most perfect performances can be skewed if someone has the intent. I am glad that you found this other ADON and that your current atmosphere is helping you along.

    Over time, you will gain your confidence back!! But I am SURE you will never ever forget what happened. Don't stress yourself being overly cautious about simple things. And take a deep breath when dealing with something more complicated.

    It is possible to have a touch of PTSD after something as life altering and demeaning as what you went through. Seek some type of counsel in professionals and friends, come here..... and go to the spa and out to movies, relax and remember- it wasn't you... it was THEM!
    I am happy for you!
  14. by   realnursealso/LPN
    Quote from JoPACURN
    In these United States of America..how does this **** happen???????????
    I have seen some of the posts on this board, I have no problem seeing this happen with everyone's "ME", attitude. Just the other day, I saw part of a response from another poster, and it said," watch out for your job, there are plenty of us waiting to grab it from you" It's the attitude today, I need to step on the gas, can't have your car first. Oh my goodness, I bet they are jealous that I have the best children in the world, as this little brat screams and runs in the resturant at the next table. Today it is all about ME ME ME, what I want, what I can get. Oh goodness I know I am a nurse, but I need all the holidays and weekends off, don't they know I HAVE KIDS? Or how about a poster asking which part of nursing has the least POOP? Because THEY just can't stand it. I am an old hippie, time for a little kindness and caring in this world, instead of "WHAT WILL THIS DO FOR ME?" attitude.
    Sorry for all that you have been through. Glad you made it through. Hugs to you for your continued sucess of late. So happy you met someone who cared enough about their fellow man, to help you. Hugs!
    Last edit by realnursealso/LPN on Jun 29, '10 : Reason: correction