I want to be a nurse BUT - page 2
Hi! I guess I'm in need of a self-esteem booster. This is my first semester of nursing school, and until recently, I've been really excited about my decision to join the health care field. ... Read More
Sep 20, '02Occupation: LPN/staff nurse - LTC facility Specialty: Geriatrics ; From: US ; Joined: Feb '00; Posts: 2,602; Likes: 21Originally posted by finness
I guess I'm in need of a self-esteem booster. This is my first semester of nursing school, and until recently, I've been really excited about my decision to join the health care field. However, as soon as my father discovered my chosen vocation, he flipped! He told me that I'd make a terrible nurse! He told me that I was far too brainless, awkward, shy and impersonal to make a good nurse. I am NOT at all upset that my father was so malicious. His skepticism of my abilities is serial in nature. As it is, he's talked me out of going to college twice, moving out once, and tried his da**est to keep me from getting a high school diploma. However, I wondered if there was SOME truth to his words. I AM soft-spoken and my feelings CAN get hurt quite easily. Does this put me as a disadvantage entering the nursing field? What are your opinions?
Have a wonderful weekend!
Nothing personal but the only brainless thing out of the whole scenerio you told us about is your father's ridiculous childish behavior and comments! DO NOT let ANYONE talk you out of your dream, I'm a shy person whose feelings can get hurt easily too, but yet I do very well at work. You will do great in nursing school!! Take care, Dawn ((((HUGS))))
Sep 20, '02Occupation: home health aid Joined: Sep '02; Posts: 34Sarah,
I was touched by your letter and just had to respond! Family relationships can be very confusing. They have known you your whole life and therefore it is easy to assume they know everything about you- not true- yet it is very likely they know how to push your buttons, take your deepest insecurities and use them against you. As many have already said, your dad is projecting his own insecurities unto you. I have grown up with similar emotional abuse. I am very shy, sensitive and not good at making small talk, and for a long time felt that these were draw backs to my personality that I needed to change. It is good to challenge yourself beyond your comfort level at times, but I have also learned that all parts of yourself are there for a reason and though they may seem negative to you usually there is a lesson to be learned from them or should I say a way to mold them into a good use. -sometimes things you think are weaknesses are actually the seeds of your biggest strengths, you just need to figure out where to plant them. Let me give you an example. I am a C.N.A. and recently got a job doing in-home hospice care. I had six weeks of training and was still feeling very insecure about my work abilities. It is nerve racking to go into a strangers home at a very intimate time for the patient and the whole family and say - here i am, you don't know me but I am here to give you a bed bath. WOw, that is personal. I thought I had to break the ice by being a talker, always having something to say. After my training period my boss had to go out with me in the field and just watch me work with patients. I was very nervious but at the end of the day she said to me- "you have a very special way with patients, a comforting persence and that is something very valuble that cannot be taught." I have also had patients tell me that appreciate my silence, for they are sick and don't want to put out the energy to talk. It is more about rather or not you are a caring person then trying to evaluate if you are smart enough, or anything else- with love, determination and hard work, the rest will fall in place.
Also- note that it may be good try and keep a balance with your father. Boundaries. Know when it is not healthy for you to be around him, listen to the tape recorder in your head that starts playing when he says these harsh things to you and try to distance yourself from that recording- remember they are only words, not truth.
Sep 20, '02Occupation: ADON-LTC Specialty: 19 year(s) of experience in LTC, ER, ICU, ; Joined: Feb '01; Posts: 5,856; Likes: 36(((((sarah)))))
Sep 20, '02Occupation: RN, ICU/CCU Joined: Aug '02; Posts: 1,062; Likes: 7Originally posted by finness
This is my first semester of nursing school, and until recently, I've been really excited about my decision to join the health care field.
And if the program accepted you, to hell with whatever misconceptions your father has about you. Because you obviously DO have what it takes!
Sep 20, '02Occupation: Registered Nurse Joined: Sep '01; Posts: 27; Likes: 1Sarah, Parents are supposed to encourage and support their children in whatever they choose to do in life...Go for it girl because I know that you will make a wonderful nurse. My personality is similar to yourself and I've been a nurse for 15 years..So follow your dreams and your heart.. Linda
Sep 20, '02Occupation: Psychiatric Research Joined: Aug '02; Posts: 1,467; Likes: 6Originally posted by finness
I AM soft-spoken and my feelings CAN get hurt quite easily.
Some people cannot bear to see others succeed (because then they look smaller). You go right ahead and follow your heart, no matter what anyone else says.
Sep 20, '02Occupation: CNA Joined: Jun '02; Posts: 485; Likes: 15Your dad sounds rather emotinally abusive.
Sep 20, '02Joined: Aug '01; Posts: 3,725; Likes: 459You go for your dream girl!
I had to fight tooth and nail to get to where I am now and I am d*** proud of myself! I am soft spoken also, but I'm learning to be a bear when it comes to something I've wanted for so long....and you will too!
I am looking forward to hearing of your graduation!
Sep 20, '02Occupation: home health nurse (self-pay and insurances) Joined: Aug '02; Posts: 37; Likes: 1Sarah, I am sure you will make a great nurse. I also am a very soft-spoken person and it has been a really great asset. As one nurse manager told me when he hired me, "You are very soft-spoken, a perfect night nurse." It really comes in handy when you are trying to sooth ruffled feathers or express sympathy.
I also used to get my feelings hurt easily, and I had a very difficult time speaking up to people. It just took time, and I am so over that now! You will do great, I'm sure. I didn't have the greatest brains - I had to study really hard, but if I had to have a nurse, I would want one like me, haha!
Sep 20, '02Occupation: CNA Joined: Aug '02; Posts: 9; Likes: 1Don't you hate it when parents put you down like that!! It took me over twenty years to finally pursue what my mother said I could never do. I'm working on my pre-requesites (sp?) and I'm sole income, so I must work. It will take me a while, but by dang, I WILL make it happen.
So, here's a hug and a pat on the back too.
"Reach out and Touch a hand, make a friend where you can..."
Sep 20, '02Joined: Apr '02; Posts: 38,756; Likes: 16,289soft spoken people are the BEST labor and delivery nurses. just a hint...........:-)
Sep 23, '02Occupation: registered nurse Joined: Nov '01; Posts: 1,083; Likes: 14go for your dream and get away from your dad!
I was told i was not smart enoughto be a nurse by my parents at one time. And that i was not good with people and wasto shy. well look at me now,I graduated with MY BSN, finished with 4.0 and was top student in my class.I am now a L&Dnurse and am considered a wonderful nurse by my patients coworkers and manager. so you see if i can do it so can you. if you can dream it you can do it.just work hard and keep your chin up.
Sep 23, '02Occupation: registered nurse Joined: Nov '01; Posts: 1,083; Likes: 14oh and by the way Iam still very soft spoken!