I need help and Im between a rock and a hard place

[DIPLOMATICRN4HIRE, MSN, RN]

An icident happened a few months ago , and I need advise on what to do, and how much further I should carry this issue...

I was in the Operating Room when a Dr that I was working the case for , became irrate and beligerant, and physical and began throwing things at me. The patient was awake , alert and oriented, and the case was a simple case nothing critical at the time. So alert that the patient informed me on how I just got my ass chewed out by the DR. , I went thru the chain of comand in the Or , director , medical director, and so on...The Dr the next day followed me while I was with another pt to the recovery room and basically accusted me there while I was trying to give report on the critical patient I was with....

I informed the Dr that it wasnt the time to discuss the matter, and that I wished for him to please leave me alone....

It didnt stop there, he continued until I dropped the patient the recovery nurse,and I left and went to the Or Managers office in tears for her to get him off me, and he even followed me into her office.

Well while the time of my assignment ending and the start of my new assignment(I had already re-signed a contract for the facility) The Dr has declined his position, to take another job in Maryland...

I found out while I was still in town (that the Dr had assulted a traveler , and a few other staff members in the hospital previously) and no one did anything including the hospital.

I have contacted an attorney and also the Equal Opportunity Board in which charges against him and the hospital are to be filed....

The question is ... I feel like a trator, I was taught to do my job and be the patient advocate, I feel like a trator because now that Im back at the hospital , and even though the Dr is gone, I have Drs now that dont want to work with me because I "can" be trouble...

I dont think Im wrong for standing up for professionalism, or the right of that patient to have the best care possible , but I didnt deserve the treatment I got from the Dr or the Medical Boards who gave the Dr in question a paid vacation, until "the heat cooled", (when I finished my assignment as a traveler ) and went back to my home.

What should I do , Im serious , should I just let this drop, and take this as a learning experience or should I stand up and take it on the chin and toughen up and wait for the outcome.

I have found out that this isnt the first occurance with this Dr, and that he has had several run ins with nurses , and other female staff members and they have written him up but the hospital hasnt done anything....

I NEED ADVICE.....PLease

Im so tired of holding this in I want to just leave and not deal with these people anymore but I dont feel anyone deserves this treatment and I dont find it ok just because He is a DR...

[live4today, RN]

You obviously need to take an Assertiveness Training Class. I strongly advise you to go sign up for one at your nearest college. If a person isn't use to standing up to others, that person will crumble every time when confronted with conflict. You MUST learn to overcome your fear of those who take advantage of you in this way. Cry in private......but kick ass in public! :chuckle

The reason the hospital management and nursing supervisor aren't saying anything to you or doing anything about your situation with that doctor is because they expect you to be able to handle that idiot doctor on your own....IMPO! You could have had him nipped in the bud on the first incident when he threw things at you. Why did you stand for that? What are you afraid of if you were to stand up to him? Getting fired? So what........better fired than walked on!

To survive as a nurse.......especially when you choose to work with SURGICAL "GOD-HEADS" everyday...you MUST learn how to be assertive.....not aggressive.......aggressive isn't professional.......but assertiveness is......it's all in the way you handle and carry yourself when resolving conflict. The war is between you and that doctor........so it seems that is what the admins are telling you since they've done nothing about it.......so FIGHT woman........step up to the plate and show that doc what professionalism is all about by NOT tolerating his psycho behavior! Make him run from you crying......don't you run from him crying. Look at him as if he were your worst enemy ever......and rip into him in a PROFESSIONALLY ASSERTIVE WAY.......guarantee you he will chill out.......he may not come to like you.......so what........but he will come to respect you. :kiss

[nimbex, RN]

zoe, get ready for a big (hug). Such a tough question. I guess I can tell you what I'd do... just as you did and see it through.

But I'm comfortable in standing up for myself and patients despite the fallout which is usually negative and can last for quite some time as your finding out. It's never easy and most of the time I think I am nuts but I wouldn't like ME if I didn't act.

I guess the real question is are you able and willing to continue the process despite the fallout which can get severe?

If you choose not to, will you always look back and think you should have?

The saying"choose your battles wisely" comes to mind. To me this is a worthwhile battle. I guess you have to make that decision for yourself.

Will be here to listen

[researchrabbit]

Part of it depends what state you are in. If you were in Oklahoma, I'd suggest you report him to the state medical board, it actually might follow up here. But if you're in, say Texas, that wouldn't work 'cause their board sucks (no offense, Texans!).

Part of it also depends on how far YOU want to go and how fed up YOU are (I bet Rosa Parks probably wasn't a fire eater to begin with either).

[l.rae]

you say the other DR's are saying you can be trouble???.....l'd look them in the eye and say ''you bet your family jewels l can!''.....lf it were me...l'd see it through.....just my 2cents......LR

[DIPLOMATICRN4HIRE, MSN, RN]

Well thats the part of it, I didnt allow this Dr to walk on me but I also will not act in a demeaning manner infront of my patients as well. The patient was on the OR table with the anasthesiaologist trying to put him to sleep. My dduty was to my patient. No one in the room said a word but the Dr ripping my head off at the time, Please dont think I stood back and did nothing, It took all I could do Not To Rip this man a new a**hole, Im not the type of nurse that cowers , Nor would I be...

But I dont wish to be dragged thru the mudd, Its apparent that the hospital didnt do anything , if anything he got a bonus check for doing what he did, I did file charges for assult with the police department and also with harrassment at the workplace , which is pending...

I cant shake the feeling that Im betraying the instution in which I hold so dearly to my profession....

If I could I would go running and screaming down the roads , Telling every Nurse I know on how Bi polar and sadistic this Surgeon is and atleast giving them some sort of heads up, because I didnt. I have found out that If I do something as in take this guy to court I will also have to take the hospital to court as well...

Im not looking for a pay off, its not about Money, its about how people are treated and why people dont have the right to treat others in a fashion of this sort in an area such as the OR or any area in my opinion...

I have had a few nurses , tell me that work with me that I am just in it for the money and thats B*ll Sh*t, and these are Nurses that the Dr has treated them the same as he treated me...

It was even said to me , that it was possibly set up that way because they knew that I wouldnt tollerate such action and they put me in the room to see if anything would come about it, well it did and Now I look like the bad guy not the Dr that decieded he was having a bad day and threw xrays and a pager at my head while the Patient was present and AAOx3, I Dont think I need to take a class on assertiveness I stood up for my rights but its others that have allowed these actions to go for so long and now just because I stood up , DRs are pissed at me, Nurses look at me differently and I am not the guilty one here. If I had treated that Dr like he treated me I would have been fired immediately and something / or someone would have had my butt and license infront of the state board on patient abandonment and disreguarding of a Nurses Duties...

I need advise and support and basically a break from this its begining to affect me , Not as a Nurse but as a person..

zoe

[Youda]

This kind of behavior is not just "unprofessional," it's a form of psychological and emotional abuse. In this case, physical abuse as well. We easily identify "child abuse" and "abuse of the elderly" but we aren't so good (as nurses) identifying it in the workplace and when it is happening to us or one of our coworkers. We think of abuse as dramatic acts of violence. But, abuse can be subtle as well. It some countries, such as Denmark and Australia, there are actually laws against this where the good doctor would end up in jail for this kind of behavior (pleasant thought, there. The doctor behind bars! ) Anyway, take the assertiveness training class as Renee suggested, that will help. But, also educate yourself on Workplace Bullying. Here's some definition of the typical bullies. I think you'll see the good doctor here with his god-mask removed.

http://www.bullybusters.org/home/twd/bb/bbstudies/bullytypes.html

[DIPLOMATICRN4HIRE, MSN, RN]

I think you so much All of you that have commented , Please inform me of where I can find such class, so I can immediately inroll

also Thanks for the support I need it

zoe

[live4today, RN]

Originally posted by ITSJUSTMEZOE

I think you so much All of you that have commented , Please inform me of where I can find such class, so I can immediately inroll

also Thanks for the support I need it

zoe

((((((((((ZOE)))))))))) :kiss I am so sorry you are going through that mess, Zoe. Now that you explained the situation further, it does sound like you have taken matters to the right authorities, and are working on getting it resolved the legal way...which sounds like the only acceptable way right now since you cannot obtain the cooperation of the doctor responsible, or the admin of the hospital. Hang in there, and don't give up the fight. Even if it is NOT about money...but the principal of it all.......don't apologize or feel like you have to explain about that...just do what you know in your gut is the right thing to do. People will always have something to say....so let them say it. You can't stop them from saying what they are going to say anyway, so keep on keeping on to protect your own nursing license as well as your sanity.

When I took an Assertiveness Training Class, it was through the college I attended. The class was an 8 hour class...held on a Saturday...and was a very good class. Helped me a lot because...believe it or not...I was NOT one to stand up for myself, but I would stand up for others in a heartbeat. I had to realize that I was just as worthy of being protected as those I was always trying to protect...that's why I took the class....and I am so glad that I did. Check with your local colleges to see if you can take one through them. Also, the American Red Cross might offer them too. I don't know where you are right now, but I'm sure you can find one. Maybe you can even take one via the internet...??? Keep us posted, and remember...we care about you here at allnurses.....and if nothing more....we can offer prayer support, encouragement, and give you the listening ear you need to vent to. May God's strength be your strength. Amen. :kiss :)

[SKM-NURSIEPOOH, BSN, RN]

originally posted by l.rae

you say the other dr's are saying you can be trouble???.....l'd look them in the eye and say ''you bet your family jewels l can!''.....lf it were me...l'd see it through.....just my 2cents......lr

if you were a nurse that just so happens to be male, would this jerk treat you this way??? i say, if you can stomach it, then see this thing all the way through to the end. let everyone know that you are a professional nurse who doesn't have to take being mistreated by any other professional. this would send a message & perhaps those other docs will think twice about messing with any other nurse in the future. it just takes one strong person - look at rosa parks....i'm not suggesting that you start a movement or anything...just stand-up for yourself...that's all!!!

best of luck to you :kiss - moe!!!

[Grace Oz]

Zoe,

SO sorry to read of your dreadful experience. I strongly encourage you to perservere with the legal processes. If that jerk was here in Australia, he'd be struck off the list asap! Do you belong to a union? If so, get them involved.

This animal not only acted unprofessionally, he was abusive & threatening & needs to be accountable. Remember; When good people do / say nothing, evil prospers. Have courage, stand firm, maintain your dignity, don't care what the others think or say. They're not the ones you have to face in the mirror. At the end of the day, it's the person looking back at us from the mirror who we must please & justify ourselves to!

This dreadful thing happened to YOU! You owe it to yourself ( and nurses everywhere) to take a stand.

Keep us posted on here. I have you in my thoughts & prayers & want you to take strength from us who support you. God bless.

Cheers from "Down Under"...

Grace

[RNIAM, BSN, RN]

Good for you. You are a nurse that we future RN's can look up to. Never let anyone get away with mistreating you.