How do you deal with gossipy co-workers?

Nurses General Nursing

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This is beginning to annoy me that I need other nurses feedback! I am an RN infusion nurse at a clinic, our facility recently changed to four plain scrubs, monday to thursday and any scrub every friday. I saw on our website where the colors were matched and thought we are free to pair any matching color. So I wore lavender top and a black pant. My MA saw me all morning and the LVNs and MAs saw me all morning and did not say anything to me. My MA went to see the other staff and came back to tell me that we are not supposed to wear the colors that way and she said that the other staff were talking about why I did it. I told her next time she should tell them to ask me direcly. I also let the nurse manager know that I was not deliberately trying to break the rules. So I asked her to tell them during clinic meetings to talk to me directly and not to my MA about me which feels like gossip. This week one of the new staff member came to tell me that the other staff members were talking about my microwaving fish meal at lunchtime. That the smell of fish is so strong around the clinic and some of them do not like to eat fish. I work through lunch, so I suggested spraying a neutralizer. Which they did but how do you all deal with gossips. I and the nurse managers are the only RNs, these are all LVN and MAs.

Specializes in Infection Preventionist/ Occ Health.

One of my co-workers liked to gossip to me about other employees, until I came straight out and told her that I didn't like it. If you don't engage the other person, then it becomes a one-sided "conversation" pretty quickly.

I would just ignore it if your co-workers are making you the subject of gossip- if you manager has a problem with something, then she will come to you. If you co-workers are tattling about silly things to the manager, it is the manager's responsibility to put a stop to that.

It sounds like they have too much time on their hands. As soon as they figure out that you're not going to feed in to this gossip, they will get bored and move on to someone/ something else.

Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

From reading your opening post I would say that you are being overly sensitive and nit-picky. I think you should make more of an effort to join in the group, and that you ought to relax a bit and not take life too seriously.

What you describe sounds to me to be small potatoes, not worth worrying about. If they don't like the smell of fish and came to you directly, what's wrong with that? First you complained that they were going behind your back.

Try to find ways to fit it with the group in some way.

Specializes in LTC, wound care.

You might want to be careful about what food for lunch you bring in to work. If your fish meal for lunch includes Asian fish oil/seasoning sauce, that stuff smells so strong that it can run everyone out of the building. It might be wise to not bring that to work, but bring other things instead.

Specializes in ER; HBOT- lots others.

i would for sure say something. you have to nip things in the bud. tell them if they have a problem, you would appericated it if they would come to you first. not a big deal, but i understand the frustration.

gl!

-H-

& lav and black sound pretty!

Specializes in RN, BSN, CHDN.

You know if gossipers are not talking about you it will be something else, dont worry yourself about it.

Re the food every morning a co-worker of mine has the most foul smelling breakfast in the world and eats it prior to work-it makes me gag every time he works. he knows how it makes me feel but we laugh about it and I leave the room as soon as I can.

I would never ever expect him not to eat it, it is my problem not his.

Specializes in NICU.

"I really appreciate you coming to me directly. I had no idea that my scrub combo would be a problem. Thanks for the heads-up!"

"Oh! I bet you're right! I didn't even consider how strong the fish would smell in the unit! That makes me rethink my Limburger and sardines for tomorrow! Ha ha ha."

It just depends on how you would like people to view you. Do you want to be the RN who can't take criticism, and gets PO'ed every time someone makes a negative comment......or do you want to be the RN who's approachable and mature?

Could their approach have been more professional? Absolutely. Confrontation is an uncomfortable thing, and it takes a lot of practice. If you think about it, you did the same thing that everyone else did: " I told her next time she should tell them to ask me direcly." No...you should ask her who was making nasty comments, and approached that person yourself.

It doesn't have to be a rude stand-off. Just a simple, "Hey, Co-Worker, it didn't even occur to me that I shouldn't mix-and-match. Sorry for any confusion."

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
"i really appreciate you coming to me directly. i had no idea that my scrub combo would be a problem. thanks for the heads-up!"

"oh! i bet you're right! i didn't even consider how strong the fish would smell in the unit! that makes me rethink my limburger and sardines for tomorrow! ha ha ha."

it just depends on how you would like people to view you. do you want to be the rn who can't take criticism, and gets po'ed every time someone makes a negative comment......or do you want to be the rn who's approachable and mature?

could their approach have been more professional? absolutely. confrontation is an uncomfortable thing, and it takes a lot of practice. if you think about it, you did the same thing that everyone else did: " i told her next time she should tell them to ask me direcly." no...you should ask her who was making nasty comments, and approached that person yourself.

it doesn't have to be a rude stand-off. just a simple, "hey, co-worker, it didn't even occur to me that i shouldn't mix-and-match. sorry for any confusion."

good, common sense advice. i hope the op takes it!

You know if gossipers are not talking about you it will be something else, dont worry yourself about it.

Re the food every morning a co-worker of mine has the most foul smelling breakfast in the world and eats it prior to work-it makes me gag every time he works. he knows how it makes me feel but we laugh about it and I leave the room as soon as I can.

I would never ever expect him not to eat it, it is my problem not his.

If he eats it before work, how do you smell it? :confused:

Specializes in RN, BSN, CHDN.

He eats it in our locker room

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