Here's the deal - I'm am - ok WAS - a pretty shy individual especially when it came to, um, certain things.
As a future nurse, I have had patients that are men....with, um, parts
HAHAHAHAH seriously I have had absolutely NO problems with these patients - my husband, however, cannot understand how his "shy wife" is capable of d/c ing a foley on a male patient without batting an eyelash! I've tried to explain that it's "clinical" but he doesn't get it and I think it may bug him that I have taken care of a several men, a couple who were bedbound and required full bed baths, etc.
Any advice, suggestions you guys can supply will be greatly appreciated!!!
First of all, I have been married to a nurse for nearly 20 years. And yes, this can be a difficult thing to think about your wife doing at work. I do realize that in a vast majority of cases, nurses are quite professional and really are not 'turned on' by the procedures they perform at work.
As for me, I worked in hosptials and knew what nurses did. That didn't stop me form dating a few here and there. Not much emotional involvement after a date or 2. However, about the time I realized I was really falling hard for my soon to be wife, those procedures were not being done by just a nurse, but (eventually) my fiance. Actually, the first time the wife saw me naked was by accident was when she walked in on me while I was changing in our pool house. I was quite embarrassed, but she said she has seen lots of other naked men before at work, so it was really no big deal and I shouldn't be embarrassed. Not something a man wants to hear, epecially someone you are in love with.
Over this, I almost didn't propose. I did have a long talk with her about this and my feelings and she did answer all my questions hosnestly. The usual....how many have you seen, how many foleys, how often, how many shave preps (and this was before the use of gloves was mandatory and also ALL patients seem to have gotten shaved before surgery!), how many erections....etc. The numbers were lower than my imagination, but I suppose they were correct. (Small hospital and only in nursing for less than a year at that point.) My wife's response to all this was to quietly tranfer to the nursery. Said keeping me was more important that the job. (She now also works peds and loves the kids and newborns!)
Some of you may call me insecure, immature, whatever, but for me this was and sometimes still is an issue. She sometimes gets pulled to adult floors or the PACU. While I realize these are professsional fuctions, all nurses have their share of 'willie' stories and men with erections. I know most are frail and elderly but there is the occasional "28 yo knee with a PCA and foley".
The bottom line is this: being a nurse is way down the list of what she is to me. I see here first as my wife, lover, mother of my kids, etc. Being a nurse is way down the list. Disreagarding the size issue most men have, (ok, most men know thay are not the biggest hammer in the drawer, but having the wife potentially verify that every day is not very reassuring), the issue here is not of the wife getting truned on, but rather that 'the seen one, seen 'em all' concept kicks in. After seeing and/ or touching a few hundred, does the site of your naked husband still excite you? Every time I see my wife naked, I LIKE IT! (nuff said). I just want the same feeling back. I do not want to be another body part.
The suffestions to tell him its just a body part, or seen em all, or practice a foley with him is not good advice. The only thing I can say is listen and talk to him and let him talk and answer his questions truthfully. His imagination is way more that the truth.
Oh, and the reason more men don't seem to care? They don't know! Not many nurses I know are willing to tell all the details. "Today. Dear. I took care of a 28 you man experimenting with Viagra. Ended up with priapism. I had to check on him every 15 minutes to see if he was still hard. Since we had him sedated, I had to try to insert a foley because he kept wetting the bed. One doc suggested digital pressure, but we ended inflating a blood pressure cuff around his member, hoping the pressure would get him down....". Hub would love that?
Honestly, if the wife contined to work with adult patients, I would really be nuts by now, if she wouldn't have divorced me by now.
On a guy with CBI. After the CBI was D/C'd and we knew he would be discharged, I still had to do another meatal care on him. As I was cleaning,
he made a little sound--I asked if I was hurting him--he said no. That happened again. It wasn't until later that I realized that when I was cleaning, it could have been pleasurable to him. I will never know.
Actually, the same patient, I was attempting to provide some modesty (male parts showing) and he was a bit surprised that I would care!!
He has to remember that the patients you are dealing with are ill, injured, etc. Quite honestly it is refreshing to go home and see a nice healthy looking body on your significant other after a day of wrinkled, edema-filled, or just plain nasty bodies. He might enjoy hearing that.
It's amazing how many males do find some of our work sexual...I remember going into a room to pull out a foley on a GSW patient (or something like that...not a person that I would ever want to have relations with)...anyway, I lifted up the sheet, and boom there it was standing tall for me. Once I took the foley out he said thank you...thank you for what!!?? taking the foley out or me touching him??
If you married in true love, it shouldn't matter anyway!
The "seen one seen them all" is referred to all that you have to see at work.....male or female.
Hopefully, we are all mature enough to not even have to make ourselves think it's just work, not a sexual playground.
I know I look at my husband different than anyone. I've seen smaller; I've seen bigger, I've seen thinner, etc.....but my husband is who I go home to at night. He is my best friend, the father of my children, and the one I will spend the rest of my life with....no matter what I see at work, sickly soft, or viagra hard. :chuckle
It's the same for male ob/gyn's. It's just a part of the body,nothing sexual about it and you get pretty tired of looking at it all day also.
It gets to be no different than looking at someone's nose. We all have one.
I had a wife (married 62 years) want to step out of the room while I was doing a straight cath on her husband. I said "why? have you not seen it before? It won't bother me", she got so tickled I thought she was going to pee in her pants. She stayed, it broke the ice and we all had a good laugh.
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Sadie04
204 Posts
???? Is this meant as a joke?