helppp, i think i hate nursing - page 2

I know this sounds horrible, ive been on the floor since may, its now October thats 6 months, since then, ive given the wrong dose of morphine, scanned the wrong patient, forgotten to report a... Read More

  1. by   seashells2011
    I understand exactly what you are feeling. I am 2 months into my first nursing job. I've made a medication error, thank goodness it was slight and my patient did not get hurt, but I cried so hard I thought my head would explode!! It is the most stressful thing I have ever done and I, too have thought that I might not be cut out for nursing.

    Hope this makes you laugh: my husband told me that I have been talking in my sleep about giving mrs. so&so her meds, but the best is the other night he said he woke up and I was rubbing his butt (he thought he was going to get lucky) and with my eyes wide open and looking directly at him I said, "do you want me to change your dressing now?" Surely this is disturbing on so many levels!!!

    My advise to you is to not give up, be gentle with yourself because you are learning, try to find humor in your days and when you're not sure about something, ASK AN EXPERIENCED NURSE!! Slow down and breathe deeply. My DON told me the other day that she did not feel completely sure of her abilities for at least 10 YEARS!!

    You're not alone and I will be thinking of you and pushing good thoughts your way!! Good Luck!
  2. by   floridanurse1983
    The fact that you can list them in order shows you are focusing on them too much. New grads make mistakes. You did not say anyone was harmed from your mistakes. Forgive yourself and move on. Focusing only on them so much and not your acheivements will make you feel depressed. I know its hard, I do the same thing. But unless you want to drive yourself crazy, you have to learn to let them go.
  3. by   Roy Fokker
    Oi!! You're working nights!
    Are you a "night person" ?

    I have a sneaky feeling that working nights is one of the reasons - if not the biggest reason - as to why you're feeling the way you do right now. I mean that alone, coupled with "NewGraditis" .... I know it made me a 'total wreck' the first couple years I was a Nurse!

    - Roy
  4. by   TriciaJ
    Are there any nurses there who could be unofficial mentors? I don't know where I'd be if other nurses hadn't taken me under their wing as a new grad. I saw other new nurses have a horrible time when there was no one to mentor them. If night shift is new grad-heavy, then you're all winging it and going it alone. Is there any way to get on a shift with some seasoned nurses and some breathing room? Will make a world of difference.
  5. by   Lizabeth RN
    You are not the only one this upset. I too am new and at times feel so exhauted and overwhelmed. things got better I am at a year and I feel better, I een want a bigger challenge. I think every floor is different and I dont think "your not cut out" but maybe there is a different floor that may be run better, more staffing, somethign during the day. Give it a few more months than I would transfer.
  6. by   canesdukegirl
    Yep, you are singing the New Nurse Theme Song.

    Honey, EVERYONE makes mistakes in the first few months. You have barely gotten your feet wet. Believe me when I say that sometime in the next few weeks, a lightbulb will go off and everything will just "click".

    Another poster suggested that it takes time to find your working groove. Truer words were never written.

    The fact that you are being so critical of yourself, that you are worried to death, and that you posted your worries here on this forum tells me that you are a conscientious nurse. It is key that you BELIEVE that of yourself. Feeling like a failure will only lead to more mistakes.

    A word of advice: working nights is a horrible way to start out as a new nurse. In my opinion, only seasoned nurses should work nights. Unfailingly, a plethora of issues tend to creep up at night, and if you have no support, how are you supposed to stand on solid ground? You can't very well be expected to flourish and be confident in your abilities if you are working in a vacuum.

    Let me see if I can break it down to the least common denominator:

    1. You are a new nurse. You have had maybe 8 weeks of orientation. So that's two months of training on a med/surg floor.

    2. If the above is correct, then you have been on your own for 4 months.

    3. Not only have you had to mentally adjust to being on your own, but you have also had to physically adjust to working nights.

    4. You are berating yourself for making mistakes, and can't shut your mind off even when you come home. You are edgy and generally aren't 'yourself'.

    5. You aren't sleeping well, you can't re-generate your battery; physically, mentally or emotionally.

    Well hell, I don't know who WOULDN'T have a hard time adjusting with this recipe for exhaustion!

    I know that you mentioned that you don't think that you could handle day shift. So far, night shift is sucking the life out of you-literally. If you can, switch to day shift and see how you handle it. I bet the farm that you will surprise yourself at how much better you feel, how much more centered you are, and how much more confident you will be.

    You need to return to YOURSELF. Being on a shift that your body clock agrees with will help you in ways that you can't imagine-and I am speaking from experience.

    Please consider working day shift before you throw in the towel. You have worked far too long and much too hard to let this get you down. You may feel like an ant climbing a treacherous and steep mountain...but ants work together and use their resources to overcome the most challenging obstacles. Find your resources, change up your game plan and get to the top, babe! You can do MUST.
  7. by   socalRN3
    Hi! First, I feel much empathy for you feeling this way and you are absolutely not alone. I worked as a new grad on nights for 6 months and while the job itself was not that stressful...nights almost killed me. I could only sleep for 4-5 hours between shifts so that left me exhausted at work and on my days off when I couldn't get quality sleep.

    when I was this exhausted I became lonely, sad, and unmotivated to do anything at all. It was really sad and I didn't like who I was turning in to. So I saw an opportunity for days in the ICU, applied for it and got it. While the job now has its stressful moments (more so than the surgical unit I was on) being on a normal sleep cycle has brought me back to my normal self. However, for various reasons I do not like the hospital environment so I am going back to school to get my NP or CNS.

    Basically, try to hang in there until you can find an opportunity to switch to a day shift position. If that doesn't work out, its ok, and try to continue to search for something you enjoy. Feel free to message me if you need to vent or if you have questions.
  8. by   jennahousern
    Quote from lcamp85
    i know this sounds horrible, ive been on the floor since may, its now october thats 6 months, since then, ive given the wrong dose of morphine, scanned the wrong patient, forgotten to report a critical, notified the doctor of a wrong critical, had a patient fall and more. i get so stressed at work that i don't even want to talk to the patients. i feel annoyed and angry a lot of the time and i get sooo stressed about making mistakes that it effects my personal life too. i was put on nights and its horrible, on my days off i cant even sleep until like 7 am some days and i have a really hard time keeping up with the rest of my life. luckily nothing bad has happened and i have learned from my mistakes, but i cant help but question if maybe i am just not cut out for the hustle and bustle of nursing. i like many aspects about the job ( 3 days a week, 12 hour shifts, being busy etc) but i just dont seem to be catching on as quickly as others. my body, mind and soul are suffering and i feel like an ant on a mountain trying to climb over. i dont think i could handle days but this shift is killing me. i liked nursing school more than this lol. any ideas for a career switch that uses nuring knowledge or any words of advice.? i dont want to be putting patients in harm and i definitely cant see myself doing this for the rest of my life. any words of appreciation would be appreciated
    6 am and still cant sleep i just keep trying to remind myself that this is not forever and im doing my best but some days its not good enough, i think im getting depressed.
    dear lcamp85, i am sorry to hear that you are not loving your new career. but i think that this is completely fixable. if you really hated it, you would have not finished the program. you do like nursing, you just dont like your job. you just have to find a department in which your happy and hours that will allow you to practice safely. it sounds like the night shift just isn't for you. start looking for another position. talk to your hr maybe you can be transfered. burnout is very common in our profession and its to early for this to happen to you. so in the meantime, try to get rest. do something to pamper yourself and start looking for something else that will make you happy. think about the kind of nurse you wanted to be when you were in school. is that what you are doing now? if not then why? i hope this helps. good luck to you.
  9. by   Ruby Vee
    the first year of nursing is miserable. unfortunately, the only way to get through it is to just go through it. then one day, it will just "click" and you'll get it. so hang in there, it'll come.

    about night shift -- ambien works! if you cannot sleep, by all means take something to help you sleep! you can't learn anything if you're always sleep deprived.
  10. by   codeblue22
    Stay strong, lcamp85. It will get better. I'll give u a personal story...
    When I first started, I let every missed IV get into my head, and I would psych myself out every day. I was a walking time-bomb. Eventually you will learn that there is a learning curve, and that curve is forgiving. Not all nurses grow at the same rate, but all nurses can become really amazing if they set goals and maintain a positive attitude.
    When I was a new nurse, I received the best piece of advice from an older RN about to retire. She saw me stressing out one day, frantically overwhelmed with tasks and treating everything as "urgent."....
    She said, "Remember this: You can only do one thing at a time. So slow down, and do that one thing really great. And then move onto the next thing."
    I work in many critical care areas, and when I get swept up with bazillions of "urgent" tasks, I always think of her advice and slow myself down (respectively).
    Just remember, taking the time to focus (say, on starting an IV), will result in a really great IV.. And not result in 3 misses. 3 misses will always use up more clock than 1 good attempt.
  11. by   beast master RN
    iv been there , especially when getting written up from your DON, feels like **** and your horrible at what you do
  12. by   Bortaz, RN
    If YOU don't think you're cut out for the job, are constantly making mistakes, hate the night shift, are allowing your fears about the hated job interfere with the real world, and are as stressed as you appear....

    I agree, you're probably not cut out for this job. It's not for everyone, and there's no shame in your trying it and finding out that it's not a fit. I'd rather see you admit you're not good at it, and leave, than stay on the job until you kill someone.

    If the glove don't fit, you must (acc)quit.

    Or, you could keep at it till you find something you enjoy doing. However, you have to get over the mindset that you're in now. You can allow your frame of mind to defeat you. It would be a shame to waste a career because you let yourself get too stressed out before your paint even dries.
    Last edit by Bortaz, RN on Oct 9, '11