Help I am loosing my mind - page 3

I am really frustrated with my nursing career. So much so that I decided to go abck to school and study something unrelated to the medical field. I ahve been bullied, harrassed, given harder... Read More

  1. by   WriteStuff

    And furthermore..............(sorry, left out part of my "spleen")........Managers, DON's, and Supervisors who put up with this kind of aberrant behavior only contribute to and perpetuate the problem as it is today.

    I've heard a hundred too many of these "management" level folks use the excuse: "Well, he/she has such excellent skills and experience we don't want to lose him/her, just because of 'attitude'."

    HOGWASH!!!!! Poor Managers are intimidated by their own Staff who behave like this, and the truth is, those Staff persons guilty of this character defect badmouth their own Managers behind their backs. I see it over and over and over again. NO ONE is exempt from the poison being sprayed by these venemous personality types.

    Our patients, residents and clients come into our facilities and the first thing thrown at them is a four page compilation of the "Patient's Bill of Rights." It goes on forever, protecting them from every imaginable and possible form of "abuse" or violation of their "rights."

    Nurses have RIGHTS too:

    1. The right to be treated with respect at all times, by peers, collleagues, and anciillary staff. (you can include the docs here)

    2. The right to express a grievance without fear of reprisal from management.

    3. The right to refuse an assignment that places the Nurse's life in danger.

    4. The right to confront one's "accuser".

    5. The right to a safe work environment.

    6. The right to cofidentiality.

    7. The right to be free from harrassment: sexual, and/or any semblance of an undermining of the Nurse's Professional skills, quality of work, or professional demeanor either in private, or in the presence of other employees, patients, and visitors.

    8. The right to report, without fear of reprisal, any form of harrassment as described in #7 above.

    There are more, for sure, but these come to mind the quickest.
    I am also sick and tired of having to constantly "shore up" new grads, even new employees with years of experience, who come into the work setting and are immediately and openly "scrutinized" by these wannabe know-it-alls, who think their own s--t doesn't stink!

    NO ONE should be reduced to tears (new grad or otherwise), at the expense of "Nurses" who need an attitude adjustment BIG TIME!!

    As far as I'm concerned this problem is the most serious blight on our Profession today. You ask all the Nurses out there who have left bedside nursing "why" they left........and if they were 100% honest, this would be the reason..........infighting, back-stabbing, and wolf-pack mentality!

    Ok, I've fully vented my spleen now (or at least for today), but my "liver" may want to get in on the act later.

    Thanks for listening all are a super bunch!!

    Bonnie Creighton,RN
    Mental Health Consumer Advocate
  2. by   Mkue

    I hope someone can shed some light on the subject of "nursing shortage". Just today I came upon some information questioning if there really is a nursing shortage and some examples of why there is no shortage.

    This puzzles me as I am currently an RN student.

    Shortage or no shortage I want to be a RN, but I want to know the truth and where I can find it.

    Is the so called "shortage" coming from the nursing schools who want to recruit people?

    Is the shortage only in a certain area or all throughout nursing?

    If there is a shortage at all. Thanks for any info !

  3. by   P_RN
    Yes there IS a nursing shortage.

    No it is not a manufactured one.

    What IS true is that the numbers of bedside nurses is not sufficient for the numbers of patients with severe illnesses that are *allowed* to be admitted to the hospital.
    The employers' expectations of these bedside nurses is that the same number should be able to handle the level of patient from 10-15 years ago.

    The average age of RNs is somewhere around 45....depends on who you read. Somebody is going to have to fill these slots and it's not going to be easy.

    When I started hospital nursing in 1977 afternoon shift for 40 patients was ONE RN, ONE LPN and either one or two techs. That's IT.

    Nursing is hard. Nursing is also just about the most emotionally draining and rewarding profession there is.

    There are more opportunities to women today. Other fields have set hours, are not life and death and yes they PAY better.

    Like someone else don't quit being a nurse just because you aren't working at it.

    It's going to take some big changes to FIX this shortage.

  4. by   a-rose
    The hard Nursing need nurses keep good mood. Do you have the best mental state?
  5. by   Mkue

    I have found some helpful publications about "the nursing shortage" and I'm begining to understand where people are coming from.

    Also, I agree with the previous posts about doing something about the back stabbing and nit picking, I too think that it is a form of "harrassment

    I'm looking forward to nursing someday and keeping a positive attitude !!!

  6. by   nsmith_rn
    I always find how intresting it is that people are concerned about my mental state and just for everryone that is ... I am not deppressed, have a good life and am not dealing with any major issues except work... which I refuse to let run my life.

    I just find it unbelieveable how much nurses attack each other.
    This weekened I worked and my charge nurse and co- workers where sitting around most of the day talking, laughing and eating... when I asked for help i was aksed why i could not handle it, given a dirty look ....
    That is the kind of thing that I am sick of. The who cares if you run your butt off all day attitude.
    And the treatment and asking why i need help is also very guly and insulting.
    Right now I am working on Medical floor ... I thought that it would be a nice change compared to what I have done... the work is not hard, the patients are not a problem it is the evil nurses that I work with that make my job impossible. I have been there for two months and I am now going to tell my boss today that I a leaving.
    I would rather work in the trenches of an ER and at least get some help when my psychotic patient is getting violent rather then have the nurses refuse to help me in the least.

    I thought I was tough enough to handle all the BS that is handing out on a regular basis at work but you know I do not want to.
    I want a job where when I leave I am not all tied in knots over it
  7. by   Mkue


    I think that you are just tired of having your self-esteem inflicted by people that must be very insecure or just so very miserable in their lives...

    I really feel for you as I do not feel that anyone deserves to be treated like that, I find that a lot of times that treatment is due to jealousy that is felt by these insecure people. This kind of behavior makes the those small people feel big and thus they intimidate other co-workers and form a kind of "gang". Managers that do nothing about this are the enablers.

    One would think that in a compassionate, caring profession such as nursing this kind of behavior would not be tolerated or even exist.

  8. by   VAC
    Originally posted by WriteStuff


    I've been at this Nursing thing for thirty years now, and the sad fact is that this nit-picking, back stabbing, one-upmanship behavior is found in virtually every setting where Nurses work. I even pondered the feasibility of applying for a Grant to do a research "study" on this very subject! Maybe one day I will.

    Every work setting has it's own "personality", and inevitably the people you describe, and that we ALL know, show up and become the "thorn in the flesh" for the rest of us.

    I've decided that such human beings (disguised as "Nurses"), are in reality, VERY insecure, self-absorbed, shallow human beings who are miserable in their own souls. They perpetuate their own "need" to feel "better" about themselves by pointing out the shortcomings of everyone around them. And further more, they are constitutionally incapable of being honest with THEMSELVES.

    They are also the same people who have the false idea that they "can do no wrong" in their own eyes........a serious symptom of a major psychiatric disorder.......narcissism.

    They haven't yet figured out that their hurtful behavior toward others is a reflection of themselves......"mirroring." They are sad, hurting people, who have personal issues that get "played out" no matter where they, shopping, restaurants, social gatherings, school, in their own homes, everywhere there might be other human beings around.

    I think in our setting (work) managers (our bosses) need to take a very serious look at this kind of behavior in terms of "harrassment" toward others. I mean..........SERIOUSLY! If I was a Dir. of Nursing, or a Unit Manager, or a Supervisor, I would have a written Policy in place addressing this very issue. There would be a Zero Tolerance Policy toward sniping, back-stabbing, one-upmanship, and condescending behavior toward peers and colleagues. I would encourage such behavior to be reported to ME, and I would DEAL WITH IT appropriately. The offending Nurse would be required, in my presence, to explain her/his behavior to the Nurse so attacked. We are told over and over again to "just ignore it", but you can hardly "ignore" wolf-pack mentality day after day in our stressful settings. It is NOT enough to believe that "we just need to grow up and get on with it." These poisonous, and toxic attitudes left unchecked, undermine morale in chronic ways, and are the impetus for excellent Nurses leaving the Profession in droves.

    For those of you who think my "idea" described above would only create further "hard feelings", I suggest that because my "approach" has never been can we know?

    Part of our "evaluations" address our Professional demeanor, and that does not only mean in regard to our patients, clients, and family members, but to each other as well. It is not taken seriously enough in today's health care setting.

    Just needed to vent my spleen on this one.......because I've been around long enough to watch it get WORSE, not better.

    Good, excellent Nurses should NEVER have to decide to LEAVE their work setting because of a handful of bad apples that are spoiling the bunch!!

    Thanks for letting me take advantage of freedom of speech once again. :0)

    Bonnie Creighton, RN, MHCA
    Mental Health Consumer Advocate
    Hi, writenurse,
    I read what you wrote and was wondering if you would move to south florida and take over my hospital????
  9. by   VAC
    [QUOTE]Originally posted by micro

    This thread needs to go on and on and on!!!!!!!!! Cheaper than therapy and more broadbased and confidential than EAP!!!!!!!

    YOU SAID IT!!!
    There is so much healing and strength to be gained from just knowing we are not alone.
  10. by   VAC
    [i]Originally posted by nsmith_rn
    I want a job where when I leave I am not all tied in knots over it [/[/B]
    You are definitely not alone. In my experience when I float to other units, I find the attitudes are missing. I would encourage you to try another area of nursing before giving up nursing entirely. There is a theory that these troublemakers travel in flocks, strength in numbers. You deserve a job that doesn't leave you tied in knots, and we all hope you find it.
    Good luck
  11. by   nsmith_rn
    I think that we need to become aware and also I think that we need to fight back.
    I know that going to another unit is what I am going to do but before I go
    you bet that I am going to complain, write up and make those higher up then me aware of just why they have a nursing shortage on this unit.

    Thanks for the support. It helps allot to know that I am not the only person that has had to dela with this.... it helps because I have gotten some good advice.....
  12. by   KelleyRn

    Its late, can't sleep. I've been off kiltered with my schedule since I started working nights and even the days I'm off I can't sleep cause I'm thinking about work. Its funny in a way that i"m searching for others that feel the same as I do and here we are.
    I too will be starting school to get a degree no where near the medical or science field. I have my ADN and then started nursing to finish my BSN. I recently dropped those classes to pursue something different. I just feel I'm not ready to finish just yet.

    This is great therapy, but its sad too. I haven't been nursing long, so I can't certainly see it from a nurse whose worked for years, but I can say that the support that we have for each other is slim to none unless your in a clique of nurses. Sounds kind of like high school. I was talking to my fiance' about how the respect for being a nurse doesn't exist or that it is very hard to recieve it from MDS, RNs, PCTs, Mngrs alike. People are different, some are cut out to work the stresses of nursing, and then there are some who have the compassion, but can't deal with the stress. Personally, I love taking care of my patients and their families, but I'm not the best at dealing with high stress situations, and I work in the ED for God's sake. I'm hoping to find a less stressful job in nursing. I personally don't appreciate the nurses who bash nurses who are truthful about there jobs. Those that say "that we are not compassionate and that we don't have any business being a nurse!" They have no idea who we are!

    So do what you want to do that makes you happy. You live only once. God, knows that I had to make that hard decision, but I know I'm going to be much happier from now on. Good luck, and keep in touch..KelleyRN
  13. by   JennieBSN
    Last edit by JennieBSN on Dec 8, '01