Help...husband discouraging me :(

  1. Hi all...I'm hoping you can give me some advice (and hopefully encouragement) about becoming a nurse. My husband (who is a physician) is discouraging me from becoming a nurse because he says the patients are "so messed up." I know what he means by this...he means that they have alcohol/drug problems, can be agressive, the families are dysfunctional, etc. I know it's not going to be easy, and there will be times when I will question why I ever pursued nursing. I am not him, and in fact we're quite different. I have a deep desire to help others, as well as learn how the body works. My question is, is nursing all that bad...or can you get beyond the bad stuff and find it generally rewarding? Thanks for your input...
    Last edit by Faye1 on Aug 26, '11 : Reason: Privacy
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    About Faye1

    Joined: Mar '05; Posts: 21; Likes: 1
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    49 Comments

  3. by   TazziRN
    He's right, you will deal with the bottom of the barrell in your career. You will deal with drug addicts and alcoholics, and rude uncaring people who think you are nothing more than a servant.

    You will also deal with the cream of the crop.....the people who are so grateful for your help and caring that they cry when they hug you. The ones who die, and their family members bring you flowers or a box of chocolates because you were there for their loved ones when they couldn't be, or you allowed them to cry on your shoulders as they grieved. You will see people take their first steps after serious accidents/illnesses that the doctors thought they would never recover from. You will see stroke patients cry when they are able to feed themselves for the first time. This profession will break your heart but it will also give you the most uplifting experiences in your life.

    A pox on your husband for not encouraging you!!!!! Go for it, you won't regret it.
  4. by   snowfreeze
    I agree with your husband and if you still want to become a nurse then do just that. Agressive patients and family members can be dealt with most of the time by simply finding out what is making them so agressive. Usually their problem is fear, anxiety and the many unknowns of medicine. Nursing is messy, a lot of work and very rewarding too. I have worked in a number of different facilities and each time I became disenchanted or bored with where I was working I just moved on. Nursing is awesome in that you can be on the job trained for just about any position once you get your RN degree.
  5. by   caroladybelle
    Quote from Faye1
    Hi all...I'm hoping you can give me some advice (and hopefully encouragement) about becoming a nurse. My husband (who is a physician) is discouraging me from becoming a nurse because he says the patients are "so messed up." I know what he means by this...he means that they have alcohol/drug problems, can be agressive, the families are dysfunctional, etc. I know it's not going to be easy, and there will be times when I will question why I ever pursued nursing. I am not him, and in fact we're quite different. I have a deep desire to help others, as well as learn how the body works. I think he also thinks it's too dirty a job, too. My question is, is nursing all that bad...or can you get beyond the bad stuff and find it generally rewarding? Thanks for your input...
    And exactly who does your physician husband expect to take care of the patients that he admits to the hospital?

    What sort of people does he believe becomes a nurse?

    And exactly how does he help nurses that care for these patients of his?

    If the patients are so dirty, how does he handle working with them?

    These things say alot about how your physician treats nurses/thinks about nurses.

    Nursing can be dirty and rough, but can be very fulfilling...however, if he has such a poor (and seriously misguided/mistaken) opinion about nurses, then you have your work cut for you.
    Last edit by caroladybelle on Oct 6, '06
  6. by   RN007
    I imagine your husband is discouraging you because he truly cares for your well-being. I, too, met resistance from my husband when I started nursing school, not because of the clientele but because I am older and was already in an established career. I simply told him I felt called to do this and could not turn away. I haven't looked back, and I think my husband sees I mean business and will make a great nurse. Be true to your heart. Nursing ain't easy, but for those of us who get fulfillment from caring for others, nothing is more rewarding.
  7. by   Faye1
    Thank you guys for your input...it really helps to get a nurse's prospective. I really want a career where I'm helping people, and not sitting around on my duff. I need to stay active. Also, I told him that messed up people are everywhere you go...at least that's the way I see it. Maybe he thinks I don't have the spine for it. I am a sensitive person who can be easily hurt, but I have no trouble standing up for myself (even if I end up in the back room crying after!).
  8. by   Faye1
    Oh, and I'm 45...maybe he thinks I'm too old (?).
  9. by   caroladybelle
    That is not to old!!!!!!!!!!
  10. by   Princess74
    You are not to old!! If it is something that you truely want to do then you should do it, and he should be your #1 supporter. There are ups and downs to every profession.
    When my dad passed away two years ago one of his nurses was wonderful, I don't know how I woud have gotten through it with out her supportive, caring attitude. She is why I decided to become a nurse, she will always have a special place in my heart. ( Thanks Heather if you happen to be a member here ) So yes, nurses do change peoples lives. If I can help one family the way that she helped mine then all of this school will be worth it! Good luck to you.
  11. by   Jo Dirt
    What does he want you to do, live a sheltered little life and go to the beauty parlor and have your nails done during the day?
  12. by   Halinja
    Quote from Faye1
    I know what he means by this...he means that they have alcohol/drug problems, can be agressive, the families are dysfunctional, etc.
    Nope, not too old.

    I'm kind of intrigued by his thought that the patients have problems and the families are dysfunctional. Yes, very likely. But that is true of just about any job in the entire country. People are people, whether they are in the hospital, or ordering a hamburger at McDonalds, or asking for a loan at the bank, etc. So there's hardly a job in the country where you won't meet people with alcohol/drug problems, dysfunctional families, etc.

    If you want to go into nursing, don't be dissuaded. For every dysfunctional person you meet, you'll find a wonderful, well adjusted person...or you will HELP that dysfunctional person become slightly less dysfunctional.

    And yes, nursing can be 'dirty'. So can being a homemaker. Sigh. been there, done that.

    Go for it!
  13. by   BlueEyedRN
    Oh my gosh, it's so rewarding. The opportunity to meet so many amazing people has been awesome. I had one patient from Jamaica who talked about his life so beautifully and gave me a blessing of protection before I went home. I was able to give hugs when a young woman cried with relief when her neurosurgeon told her he'd been able to remove all of her tumor. I've been able to be there when patients passed on and were finally at peace. The most rewarding thing for me was when a patient woke up terrified after having had a stroke and brain surgery and I was able to be there to hold his hand and comfort him. Moments like that have been so worth all the hard, gross, scary, frustrating stuff. It is really hard sometimes and you just want to curl up in the corner and cry. But being able to do something for your patients helps with the powerlessness, even if they don't appreciate it. Some days really really stink, but there's usually something to hold on to, even on the worst day. And I love that I'm making such a big different in people's lives. I love being a nurse. And I think I still be able to say that in 30 years.
  14. by   traumaRUs
    I say go for it and no, you're not too old. I have worked with the filthiest, most foul-mouthed patients in the world. However, I have also worked with the best and nicest folks and left work feeling that I really made a difference.

    For instance:

    We had a six week old come in, in full arrest. She didn't make it. I got a call the next day from the mother who thanked me so much for providing her with a rocker and a warm blanket to wrap the baby in. She stayed with the baby for an hour just rocking her. I had to stay with her since it was a police case but I still get teary thinking of her call the next night to thank me for that little bit of kindness.

    I took care of a homeless drunk who came to the ER 3-5 times per week, more in the winter. One night it was slow (rare occurrence in the ER) and I took his clothes and washed them in the hangar (we have a large flight program). I gave them back to him when he left and helped him to dress. He gave me a hug and kissed my cheek. He again so appreciated that little bit that I did.

    That's why I'm a nurse!

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