heart is breaking - page 2

Okay, all I want to be is a nurse who cares and does her best... and this is all getting to me. I have seen countless people die and have taken care of them until the end. I was able to maintain a... Read More

  1. by   adrienurse
    :kiss :wink2:
    Adrienne, you are a wonderful, caring nurse. Your patients are very lucky to have you.

    I know that doesn't help your pain at all, but I just wanted to tell you I thoght that. You a very special person to do what you do!

  3. by   Aussienurse2
    When my father died my brother told me this:
    When we die our spirit becomes like a mirror, then shatters. The pieces go flying around everywhere untill they find the person reflected in them, then with their sharp, jegged edges they bury themselves deep in the heart of that person. At first it hurts like hell, but like any wound they slowly heal, leaving only the scar to show. But sometimes we'll remember them and the scar starts to ache a little, and that's how we all live forever.
  4. by   micro

    what a great nurse and a person you are.......

    why do some touch us and others don't..........

    is it the way she said *this and that* and kissed her bunny.....and always smiled under her tears and inabilities......

    sorry, i digress to another response of mine to another thread....when a patient told me......
    *You truly give all of what you have, and I for one thank you.*
    Adrienurse.....I say this for you and we do not work together, but I know this of you....because of your heart and how you speak.

  5. by   renerian
    HOney I feel your pain. I worked on an oncology unit for 6.5 years. I am going back to the same type of unit next month after 11 years in home health. I have watch probably 100 people die. Some I was so close to I went to the funeral. I needed to for closure and to support the persons family-so I could say goodbye. Remember she taught you something. The importance of human contact and how wonderful a smile is to a friend. Some patients cross the line of being patients in our hearts. You are kind and not alone when you are hurting. She sounds like a kind sole.

    God bless you,

  6. by   Love-A-Nurse
    adrienne, what compassion you have. (((((hugs)))))
  7. by   Agnus
    I know in her passing a little angle will always be hugging you and sit by you with a bunny. She will watch over you with the same love and compassion you did when she was in human form, telling you that you are a good girl and and a very good nurse.
    Keep up the great work. We need you. She will never leave you.
  8. by   renerian
    Angue where in the world did you get that funny picture by your name? That is a scream!

  9. by   live4today
    Originally posted by misti_z
    Oh Adrienne you are a wonderful nurse. She is lucky to have someone like you there. You are doing all that can be done. Just make her final days comfortable.

    Good luck, we feel your pain.
    Amen, Adrie...(((((((((hugs))))))))) :kiss Keep on being the wonderfully caring compassionate nurse that you are. :kiss
  10. by   hapeewendy
    adrie my buddy my pal
    I echo what all these wise nurse type ppl have told you already
    and add that you were this patients very own personal angel!
    as nurses we sometimes lose sight of the humans we are caring for , some say its a coping mechanism,others think its the start of burnout..
    what your post did for me was to reassure me that I was bang on with my thoughts about what a great nurse and more importantly a great person you are!
    its not easy to be there for people at the very end of their experience in "this life"
    to do it with the feeling and grace that you did is just amazing...
    sure your heart will be a little heavy , to lose someone hurts, but let your heart swell with the knowledge that you helped someone leave this world onto a better one
    her quality of life, well in one sense anyway, dwindled to the point where she could no longer even drink ,but in another sense her quality of life was improved just by you being around her .....
    hugs etc
    no great words of wisdom from me
    just know that I know how it feels and that you did a really wonderful thing for your patient and your fellow humanbeing
  11. by   hoolahan
    {{{{{{{adri}}}}}}}} I can't say anything better than what has already been said. She is lucky to have someone who not only takes care of her, but really cares for her.

    I love what LiLgirl said, about bodies dying, but not the love, so true. And I loved what aussie nurse2's brother said about the mirror, what a great way to put it.

    I have been watching the John Edwards show crossing over at night, and wondering, when my time comes, I hope not only my family is there, but also my favorite and special patients whom for whatever reason touched my heart.
  12. by   adrienurse
    Just an update. Flo, "my little sweetheart", passed away at approx 1245 today. I was there, as well as our activities worker and Flo's paid companion of 4 years. We all loved her dearly. She was very comfortable when she died. It was a "good" death. I gave her a hug and kissed her head. I don't know how I feel. I almost lost it a few times today. It's hard taking care of 14 others as well as a dying resident that is actively dying. I would have been happy just to spend the whole morning holding her hand. She had no children or family, so I was glad we were able to be there for her. Really painful when I had to prepare the body. I wish I had the luxury of most other loved ones of the deceased -- and be able to stay ignorant of this part of dying. Who else is gonna do it, though?

    I still need time to digest the whole thing. I haven't cried yet. I don't know how I feel, honestly. I just know that I loved her little soul so much.
  13. by   Sleepyeyes
    God bless you :kiss