Feeling like a TOTAL loser (long)

Nurses General Nursing

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I am a new RN, graduated in May. My first job was in the rehab dept of a LTC and assisted living facility. I quit because I relocated. Before that, I worked as a CNA in LTC. Anyway, I moved to Pensacola, FL from TN about a month ago. Not only am I homesick, I am having a hard time finding a job.:uhoh3:

I don't know where I want to work. I feel so comfortable in a LTC/SNF/rehab. I like having the same patients and schedule everyday. Problem is, I don't really get the opportunity to utilize all of my skills, which I feel is important as a new grad. I get stressed out easily, so it is easy for me to gravitate towards working in a nursing home or rehab. With all the stress of moving and missing home, I don't want a super stressful job. So I have applied at six different nursing homes. One called back, and I do have an interview tomorrow. But the position is for 11-7 full time, not too happy about the hours mainly because I know I will have a big pt load on that shift.

There are three big hospitals in the area. I think I could get hired on but I am afraid they would stick me in a department I hate. I don't have much experience, so probably med-surg, which I did three semesters of in nursing school. I know they say to get a years worth of med-surg, but I don't really want to.:uhoh3:

I went on an interview today for assisted living. The administrator, who is also the owner and an MD, made me feel like an idiot for applying. He wanted to know why I wanted to work as a pill pusher versus in a hospital setting. He said he could pay a med tech $8/hr to do my job, but it looks better to have an RN on staff, that's what families want to see he said. He would orient me with a med tech because there are no nurses on staff now. I was told I would not get to do nearly any nursing duties because it is assisted living. Only PO meds, no wound dressings, labs, anything. And my patient load would be about 75. I am not interested. At least in a nursing home, I would get to use some of my skills. I am also interested in becoming a nurse practitioner one day, maybe geriatrics. Would working in a hospital be a better place to gain experience?

I don't know what to do. Working in a big hospital intimidates me. I just applied online at one of the hospitals for a graduate nurse position. Maybe they will call, or one of the other places I applied. Does anyone have any advice? I am ready to pack up and go back to TN where I know I can get a job I feel comfortable in. But now, I need to work and save up enough money to pay my moving expenses to get back and find a place once I am there.

Am I being too picky? Should I just suck it up and get a job working med-surg in a big hospital? Am I selling myself short by not working in a hospital? I am so confused and depressed. And I feel like a total loser with no job.:o Any advice would be greatly appreciate, and thanks for letting me vent.

Specializes in cardiac/education.
From that experience and reflecting back on nursing school I think I figured out that I was tierd of excessively stressful environments. I have spent so much time stressed out, overwhelmed and trying to be absolutely perfect that I just cant do it anymore (besides school, and recent grad I am a single mom of three kids, this could have some to do with it). I am perfectly burnt out on high maintenance, high stress environments that make me feel bad, that I just don't want to do it anymore.

AMEN and DITTO!! Like you, I am considering never again setting foot in a hospital setting because of these same feelings. I think once I can get to the point where I just accept these feelings as part of me and part of my personality---not good nor bad----just ME...maybe I could get past feeling like a failure. It is hard as a new grad RN to feel like a failure if you can't cut the hospital setting!! You know what they say "if you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen". But that doesn't mean the kitchen is the only place for you to hang out, lol.... Good luck Newb, I love your attitude, now if I could just make myself believe that..:lol2:

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Specializes in GYN/GON/Med-Surg/Oncology/Tele.

I've yet to even apply to a nursing program but can definitely relate. I'm working on getting my second degree and I too went through the same things you've gone through. I couldn't find a job fresh out of college to save my life. I felt like a complete loser constantly crying myself to sleep. My family suggested I work at McDonald's or some fast food joint just until I could find another job. At the time I thought I was too good to work at a fast food restaurant...I mean me, with my four year degree making 5.15/hr the minimum wage in my hometown at that time. I thought that was ridiculous and the audacity of them to even suggest it made me furious. I've somewhat swallowed my pride and told myself that I have to start somewhere so now I'm employed as a CNA...to hopefully gain valuable experience.

Now I'm back in school trying to get a my BSN. I made a bold move and I do mean BOLD!!! I first applied to the community college back home, sent in a deposit for the tuition payment plan waited til a month before the semester began to submit all of my supporting documents to the school I'm currentlly attending. After being accepted, I applied online to the huge hospital here and the next day was scheduled for an interview. I came for my interview and was offered a second interview. After my first interview, I called and cancelled the tuition payment plan and withdrew myself from the community college.

After about 3 weeks, I was struggling to find a place to stay because no more spots were available on campus and the nice apartment complexes were filling up so quickly...besides I honestly didn't have the money to afford them. I had a friend who stays here come and look at a house that was on the displaced students list. She thought the house looked nice...me well it's a totally different story but at that point I really didn't have a choice so now I'm here, was ready to quit after my first week of school because of the disorganization or well what I thought was disorganization being I came from a school that I felt was extremely well put together. But there's really no comparing the two. I apologize for ranting, I really just need to clear my head a bit.

Anyway, back to your dilemna...the hospital in my hometown has a unit they call Palmer Hinson...basically it's a rest home inside the hospital. It can't possibly be the only hospital in the US that has a such unit. Perhaps if you research the different hospitals in your area, FL, TN, whereever it is you'd like to live, you could come across a similar unit. That way you could not only utilize the skills you've learned from your nursing studies but you could also get the benefits of working at a larger maybe more hectic environment if that's something you look forward to.

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Specializes in Psych, Informatics, Biostatistics.

Advice: suck it up and apply to med-surg in one of the bigger hospitals in FL. Perform, learn: the experience is totally worth it for the next 30 years of your career.

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Specializes in Med/surg,Tele,PACU,ER,ICU,LTAC,HH,Neuro.

Have you thought of la stint in Long term Acute Care. It is somewhat stressful,vut your admits are less than med/surg and they last for months. You might have to learn some Tele,maintanance drips. Many are vent patients and all are total care. You wouldn't have more than 5 or 6 pts, day or night.

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Specializes in corrections, LTC, pre-op.
Thanks newb, it's nice to know I am not alone. I will check out your blog. Sorry you had such a bad experience. I too spent all of nursing school trying to be absolutely perfect and I think I burnt myself out on the high stress environment. I actually have applied to three different ads for an office nurse, but no calls back. They all wanted a year of experience, but I figure I would give it a shot. I should have been more specific, but most of the nursing homes I applied to do have skilled nursing care floors. As far as corrections or the health dept, there are openings, but again, they want at least a year of experience. Thanks for your insight and good luck to you. Where do you plan on working now?
City and County jails many of them will take you without one year experience! I know this for a fact.

Larry in Florida RN.

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Did you move to Florida by choice? If so, what attracted you there? If not, well, I"m sorry.

I think you will do very well in any job you take, as it sounds like you are dedicated and willing to work hard to give top notch care to your patients.

I wish I knew how to advise you specifically, but no one can do that, not knowing you and all the details.

I do wish you the best and hope you will update us as things progress. You might work agency but that would be pretty tough for a new grad, I think, plus the agencies probably want some experience.

Here's a thought - hire on part-time at a couple of places and see what you like about each place. Then decide. Or, can your pals at the one hospital get you hired on? Nothing like having some friends to help you get in. Nothing wrong with using that advantage either, so don't feel guilty. Someday you can return the favor or pass it on to someone else.

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Well I went on an interview today at a LTC facility. It is an okay place, pretty old, but they were the only ones in the state to not get any tags from JCHO (they said, I don't know how to verify). I thought the interview went well. The DON had an LPN give me a tour and afterwords, the LPN told me the DON would call me after she interviewed a few more people. I am not used to this. In TN, I applied for 3 jobs right out of school and was offered positions at all 3. I guess there is not as much of a nursing shortage here.

I also applied yesterday at all three hospitals in the area. I hope someone calls. I have decided that if I am offered a job in med-surg, I will take it. It is a good experience and I need to get in my year. One of the other nursing homes called while I was at my interview, I called back but the woman was at lunch. I really like LTC but I want to take care of the skilled nursing patients. At the place I interviewed at today, the DON said they have about 20 SN pts (PICC lines, IV antibiotics, wound vacs) but they are spread out, not all on one hall. I would have about 20 regular patients and 5-6 skilled on 11-7. That seems like alot, especially for a new grad:uhoh3:. I would rather have only SN pts.

Anyway, I am waiting to talk to the other nursing home. I hope they have a skilled nursing wing that I could work in. When I was a tech, there was a skilled nursing hall at the nursing home. There were 2 nurses for about 30 patients at night, 3 nurses in day shift. I think I could handle it, especially with another nurse.

I want to thank everyone for all of there advice and support.;) I will keep you all updated.

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TrudyRN

Yes, I moved to FL by choice. My dad passed away in 2004 and my sister and I inherited his house here. Renting it out has been more trouble than it's worth, so I decided to come live here for a while. Unfortunately, I don't know ANYONE here, other than my boyfriend who moved with me. I have applied to a couple agencies, one told me I need a year of experience and the other didn't respond. I am definitely interested in working part time, especially since I will be starting up my BSN classes again in January. Most of the places I applied want fulltime. Do you think telling them I really want part time would affect their decision to hire me?

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TrudyRN

Most of the places I applied want fulltime. Do you think telling them I really want part time would affect their decision to hire me?

The more types of nursing you are willing to try, the greater the odds of finding a part time position as a new grad. Just apply to hundreds of jobs. Also, just because a job listing says full time doesn't mean that they won't hire you as part time. Apply to all jobs including full time positions and let them know right away that you want part time.

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Another update: One of the hospitals just called and I have an interview on Thursday! It's a oncology floor with about 30% med-surg. Sounds okay for a new grad, right? I did a semester of nursing school on the same type of floor. I didn't really like it but it was more due to the facility and nurses than the actual pt load. Hopefully it will go well and I can get started working on my year of med-surg. This would count as med-surg, right?

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Another update: One of the hospitals just called and I have an interview on Thursday! It's a oncology floor with about 30% med-surg. Sounds okay for a new grad, right? I did a semester of nursing school on the same type of floor. I didn't really like it but it was more due to the facility and nurses than the actual pt load. Hopefully it will go well and I can get started working on my year of med-surg. This would count as med-surg, right?

Of course.

I took an oncology position when I graduated, because it was the only one available at the time. I'd been wanting to start in ICU/IMCU, but I found my niche. I've worked different units over the years, but I always come back to oncology.

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This would count as med-surg, right?

right, right, right.:chuckle

this sounds like a wonderful opportunity.

not just for the med/surg but for the oncology experience.

you will learn so much.

this could be the blessing you've been looking for.

let us know what happens.

fingers crossed for you.

leslie

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