Family member complaint. Sorry, long post.

[KarmaComesAround]

I had a patient the other day who kept me hopping. At our hospital, we are required to round every hour, but with most patients, it ends up being more often due to acuity of our patients...especially with this patient. She was on two drips, neuro checks (which WNL), went down for a test, etc.. I am big on patient care, and I took great care of my patient. The entire day family was constantly in the room...lots of family and visitors ALL DAY. At one point, I know there were at least 6 or more people in that room at one time...some were young, loud, in the way children. I managed it well, I maneuvered around them, and I did my job beyond. They were even the type that would tell you how to do stuff, like maybe you should do it this way, get her up this way, etc.. Continued to handle it well. They were nice though, patient was really sweet lady...no problems. Well, close to the end of the shift, one family member/daughter comes to tell me they were going out for a little while to get some food, do we have a bed alarm? I went in the room with this family member, set the alarm (know it set due to loud beep and the light was on). We even made the comment about the beep due to pt was lying there sleeping, and we made comment about "good, it did not wake her". Family member leaves. She witnessed it! About 10 minutes later, the alarm goes off, I run down the hall in no time since I was in another patient's room close by, and the patient had just moved a certain way in the bed, and she triggered the alarm. I reset the alarm, checked and situated pt...everything fine. As things go at end of shift, patient down the hall started having some change in status-increased BP, tachy, arms hurting...assessed her, called dr, got orders with new meds to give her right then IV. I was in that room handling that patient's status when alarm goes off again. Peeked out door, saw there was someone going in room, continued to take care of more critical patient. Well, night shift comes in, I go to finish my charting on critical pt, give report, finish up (had already done final round on other patients as well). I am sitting at desk, daughter of bed alarm pt comes up to desk shaky and mad to complain requesting charge nurse. She states they have been pressing call light "forever" and no one had answered or came to room. Secretary and other nurses at desk stated they had not received any calls from room. Also, she states how ridiculous it is with all us there and us being a smaller hospital than one at before, it was a shame no one came as soon as called, how they were at such and such hospital, and it was a bigger hospital, and they had no problems with someone coming as soon as needed, getting what needed, etc.. Then, she proceeds to say how her father tried to get the pt out of bed to go to bathroom and the bed alarm did not go off. She says "if something happens to my mother, then we will sue your a.... off!" Well, I was upset. We checked call light, found out they were pressing the wrong button (after pressing right one all day long)...problem there fixed. Still upset about bed alarm. I explained to charge nurse and others around that I had set the alarm and reset once as well. I know how to set a bed alarm, especially on a bed that we had at previous hospital I worked at, and as I said before, it beeps loudly and lights up. I do not know who, what, how the alarm was not on. I understand she was concerned about her mother's safety, but they had been taught not to get pt up without assistance (obese, older pt as well) along with other safety measures, plus family was back in room. Then, she complains how they had asked during the previous night shift about getting a BSC. No one mentioned all day about this, did not get it in report either, no order for, nothing. Just F.Y.I.-we were getting the lady up on the side of the bed close to the bathroom with no problems all day. I worked my butt off all day with that patient, rounded more than every hour, had good bedside manner, good patient care (and so did my preceptor/I'm not a new nurse, just new at this hospital...been there a month). There was nothing wrong all day, then BAM! It had me going home feeling like crap...why do family members act like this? And everything was documented by the way. I even told my preceptor that family is leaving to eat, so I set bed alarm. Anyway, some people you just cannot please no matter what it seems. I just worry too much (my preceptor told me not to worry about it or lose sleep over it, that some people are just like that...and she is a great nurse). Also, I am too passive. Should have talked to daughter, but I kept my mouth shut.

[wooh, BSN, RN]

It always seems that the more you do in a room, the more complaints you'll get.

[IowaKaren]

Yes, we all seem to get families like this where ever you work. Hopefully your DON is strong and supports her staff.

[caliotter3]

It always seems that the more you do in a room, the more complaints you'll get.

This is true.

[amms]

Concentrate on the great care you gave!

It's impossible to please everyone, but it is possible to please yourself :redpinkhe

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

Ya know, sometimes you can't win. Sounds like you made a great effort, and the first and tiniest little thing they jumped right on it. Normally if there is a problem you can explain, or change your plan around to suit what the family wants, but there are people that walk in looking for problems, just so they can complain. It really can change a great day into a royal bummer, and it happens to every one of us. Sorry it happened to you because on orientation you want to make a great impression. In nursing everyone has rotten days, and it's not how hard you fall, it's how well you bounce back that will impress your coworkers.

[KarmaComesAround]

Thanks everyone. It helps to get other people's support and opinions, especially from people in the same profession that understand what it is like. Feeling better already. I have to learn to be more assertive and worry less...working on it!

[leslie :-D]

gee, i wonder why they didn't go back to the former hospital, if they were so competent?

karma, knowing that you did everything humanly possible to stay ahead, you really cannot take this personally.

even if you choose not to speak up/remain passive, a steadfast smile with "i'm sorry you feel that way" is often enough to shut them up, knowing they couldn't ruffle your feathers.

keep your head up.

you have much to feel proud of.

leslie

[steelcityrn, RN]

This is a perfect example why many nurses do not want to work in a hospital. People like this have made alot of nurses change positions. Its just unbearable stress to have to deal with the day to day responsibilities and have to put up with trouble makers on top of it....geez .As far as management goes, thier hands are tied for many reasons.

[wooh, BSN, RN]

gee, i wonder why they didn't go back to the former hospital, if they were so competent?

Yes! That has to be the most aggravating comment. "Well such-and-such hospital did x and y so much better!" Well, then why did you come here?

[carolinapooh, BSN, RN]

You can't please some people, no matter what you do.

You documented everything and you worked your behind off.

What more could you possibly do? Hint - NOTHING.

(It would tee me off as well - I've been there, we've all been there. Know you did everything you could and hats off to you for a shift well done.)

[Vito Andolini]

Well, devil's advocate here - your preceptor should not have been so quick to comfort you. Not to upset you but there's no guarantee that this won't mushroom. I hope it does not but there's always the potential.

I think I would be inclined to have done the following:

I would have nicely but firmly called a huddle with this family at my first encounter with them. I would have made it clear that I needed good access to the patient at all times and I would not be able to climb over visitors, especially children. I'm there to take care of the sick person, not cater to the whole clan, esp kids who are little enough to be underfoot and get hurt. i know this is the day that "family rules" but if Vito is going to work with a patient, Vito needs clear access to the patient at all times. Vito does not want to hurt anyone, esp little kids, therefore said darlings must be out from under foot.

I would have handed them a written set of rules, I think, for them to ponder and memorize. I would call it "How You Can Help Your Loved One Here in the Hospital" or something like that. It would say the first thing I said above + it would say that they are not to get her up themselves and whatever else I needed to make clear to them.

I would also have been sorely tempted to ask them why they chose my facility if the other one did such a great job.

"You're here now and we're going to do everything we can to help your mom. Here is what I need from you if I'm going to be able to help your mom." I would just tell them the truth. Why not?

I wish you all the best. Keep doing a great job.