Falsely Accussed, Manager a Witch - page 2

Today I took wonderful care of a MVA pt. on a tele floor. The patient and I formed a bond, I was kind and attentive. My manager came out on the unit, headed to the patients room and apparently had a... Read More

  1. by   Patti 2nd gen RN
    If she always treats you this way, find out if you are, or have been her only target. Find out how much support you can expect from the other nurses you work with--make sure you are never alone with her--always have a witness who you can trust to stand up for the truth---yes, maybe you should wind up leaving that situation, but I have found that when a nurse scapegoats and attacks frequently, she will just look for another target when you are gone--it's usually not about the victim, it is about the aggressor's problems. (They usually rotate victims until they run out, then go back to their easiest long-term target) If you can find enough support and documentation, you may be the victim who becomes the survivor to prevent the next "rape"--nurses need to support each other--or else we become responsible for the poor condition of our profession. If you can't get the support, transfer to anther department before she gives you a reputation you will suffer with for a long time with other managers. Know you are not the first nurse to bee treated this way, you are not alone. My prayers are with you. Don't let her steal something precious from you.
  2. by   mamason
    I'm sorry that this has happened to you. Not all Nurse Managers are cut out to be good ones. I'm sure we've all had our run ins with one at some point in our careers. I Tend to agree with the previous posts on how to deal with this situation. You have many options. "I only have a short time to humiliate you." That's horrible!!Extremely unprofessional in my opinion. For her to just assume that you were in the wrong, without asking you about the situation first, tells me that she is strongly lacking in what I call "people skills."
  3. by   Antikigirl
    Man...I would have asked the manager right then and there to go in and ask the PATIENT if they wish me to continue being their nurse or not just as a customer service curtesy! That would have opened up the truth hopefully...especially if the pt said "oh yes, she is very attentive and sweet...my family are liars!".

    Yep hon, up the chain you should go, you are a professional and don't need to be treated like this. They need you obviously...so why in the heck would a manager do this? Doesn't make sence to me, but then again...so many things happen that don't in our profession.

  4. by   mobilmedic
    Here is one thing you can do to this recalcitrant nurse manager: MOON HER!
  5. by   mobilmedic
    Best solution for this recalcitrant Nurse Manager: MOON HER!!
    Last edit by mobilmedic on Sep 20, '06 : Reason: Mistakenly repeated
  6. by   Ruby Vee
    [font="comic sans ms"]what a horrible situation!

    however it feels right now, your situation is not hopeless. others have given you very good advice on dealing with your manager, and i don't have much to add. if you're unionized, make sure you involve a union representative in all meetings with your boss and her bosses. you'll have someone on your side who has a clearer head than yours, some suggetions and a witness. (subjective there -- my head would not be clear. yours may be.)

    if you decide to take yourself out of this toxic environment, or even to consider taking yourself out of it, there are choices. doctor's office, long term care, home health, occupational health, maybe even another unit in the same hospital. if your manager is this toxic, i cannot imagine that other managers aren't aware of the problem. is there another hospital within a do-able commute where you can wait out your current manager's inevitable demise on that unit? or can you commute to another facility in the city. i've worked with many a nurse who drove to spokane or seattle from all over the northwest and canada, worked 3 12-hour shifts, and then drove home again. is that a possibility?

    good luck and let us know how things go.
  7. by   RebeccaJeanRN
    Quote from mobilmedic
    Best solution for this recalcitrant Nurse Manager: MOON HER!!
    Now there's a really professional, helpful response...

    (And if simply aiming at humor, better not quit your day job.)
  8. by   mobilmedic
    Quote from RebeccaJeanRN
    Now there's a really professional, helpful response...

    (And if simply aiming at humor, better not quit your day job.)
    The name of this site is ALL-NURSES.com; not just professionals: there are retired, disabled, and ALL kinds of nurses. And yes.. this was aimed at humor. And it sounds like your personality closely resembles the nurse manager in question. Or are you her?
  9. by   mimer2861
    Where did she get her manager's training? A very important rule for nurse leaders: LISTEN to your staff; you can't do without them!
  10. by   moodychick
    Why is it that some NM's constantly pick on certain people? I've been really lucky in my work that I've not been in this situation. And why should these folks look for a job somewhere else? The nursing shortage is real! I'm an LPN; and it never ceases to amaze me that NM's pick at some RN's until they are ready to quit! Come on! Why would you want to lose your RN's when that's what our MAGNET hospital cares about the most!!!!! I've been around along time and I find that the ones our NM picks on are fabulous nurses and their patients get great care! What's the deal here?
  11. by   Kenova
    I am new here and I was hoping to find some advice. I work in a longterm care facility. Recently I was helping the LPN sign in some drugs while waiting for the ones I have to personally lockup. One of the narcs I signed in for her was a card of 30 vicodin. When the guy gave me my drugs I immediatly locked them up then left the room. The LPN stayed in there with him but then a couple of minutes later I heard him say "do you want me to close the door?" She must have left him in there alone. Later that morning her count was off and that whole card was missing! We searched everywhere, she said she had it and somehow lost it. (they leave them locked in the med room til they have time to put them away. I have keys to that room and so do the 2 LPNs. But...she said she saw them before she put them away. Now..the bad thing I did was leave when we couldn't find them and told the next RN to call me if she needed anything and she said she would contact the DON. WEll, I go home and they called me back and we all looked again and wrote up statements of what we all thought happened then they sent us home, it wasn't til 2 days later they wanted a urine test, then the next thing I find out is that I am being put on administrative leave because I didn't follow procedure properly! I didn't know what that meant and since I got that news, (on my answering machine yesterday) they haven't called me back to tell me what I did wrong???I am a new nurse and didn't know what I was suppose to do, I feel like an idiot, I guess I should have never left, but I did take the pee test and I did give them any info of who I thought could have stolen it, which to my knowlege now was a big mistake....I feel like they are sabbotaging me and I am scared...I have always felt very unsafe there and meant to find another job earlier and now I hope it is not too late! I don't drink and have only taken 2 narcotics in my whole life and that was for my tonsillectomy!
    Long term care is hard when you are the RN Supervisor, not to mention one who only got 3 days of shabby training as a brand new nurse....Any advice?? Prayers???
  12. by   Kenova
    Soupy2u,,,do you have any advice or comments??
    Do you think I could loose my license even though I didn't take them??
    I don't want to be fired, but I don't want to work there very much longer.
    My administrater told me I am on this leave until the investigation is over, I just want to put in my notice, but don't want to look guilty. This place is so unsafe that if state would come in unawares in the middle of the night they would be in big trouble. I have been a new nurse for 6 months and that is how long I have been there and the state has been in there 13 times!!!!
  13. by   jerimane
    Good morning,
    I happened to see this this morning-I have a story that will empower you-I have been a nurse 30 years-this year I moved back to a hospital I used to work in-where old friends are-in one area I was "nailed to the cross" which consisted of being told you were incompetent, could do nothing right-I was fired, but could come back-I wrote letter to vp nursing-and got to come back in inpatient area-I have a master's in this field-things were going well for 3 months-one week, I had a couple of errors-I was asked to come in early to work and I was fired-they had a typed up form with some things on it-I left and took the weekend to think it through and called wanting a meeting-it was refused-I agonized for really about a month on what to do-found a good lawyer-employment lawyer, who said to file a complaint with eeoc-age discrimination-wrongful termination-they also tried to deny unemployment-I appealed-at the phone hearing-a real judge made them admit that they did nothing until the day they fired me and reversed the denial of unemployment and stated that I was fired for reasons other than mis-conduct-at this meeting I was allowed to tell about the nailing to the cross and age discrimination and the eeoc complaint-the manager of inpatient filed a complaint to the board of nursing-which was really goofy-I admited to the mistakes, in our state the board of nursing has set up a program for things like this-called consent to practice agreeement-I took a test that proved that I had no mental illness as the manager tried to say. I submitted the unemployment file to the board of nursing, along with letters from nurses and doctors. The eeoc has issued a "right to sue"-which I will follow through and have the evidence now-I have been proven right-I tried to get meeting and work through this-the manager refused-eeoc added extra charges-denial of due process etc. hopefully your manager isn't as stupid as this one-but as the other people have said-never talk to her alone-go up the chain of command-talk to HR, see if there is a retention nurse, if there is you can tell her-especially the part about that she only had a short time to humiliate you--ask for a meeting with HR and the manager-have your facts together-also if you have an EAP program talk with them-one place I worked, I found out when I was sick and needed their help to get through an illness, that I had been the only person who reported to this director who wasn't seeing EAP--this is probably the case-the EAP person helped with strategies-plus went with me to confrontational meetings--there is help out there and there are resources-I bet you find others who have had this problem-if you are over 40, you are a protected category-the experienced nurse-if there is age discrimination your hospital could lose federal funding, if you can prove age discrimination. It sounds as though you do not work in a state that has a union or hospital that has a union-also are you in a right to work state? Take care and do not be afraid to stand up for what is right-I strongly suspect there are others that have similar stories-and you may unleash a torrent. Good luck.