Falsely Accussed, Manager a Witch

[Furoffire]

Today I took wonderful care of a MVA pt. on a tele floor. The patient and I formed a bond, I was kind and attentive. My manager came out on the unit, headed to the patients room and apparently had a list of complaints from a daughter that was out of town. The other daughter was at the bedside and said that I threw the meal trays at the patient, used foul language, abondaned the pt. on the commode, on and on......lies, lies, lies. I was called in the manager's and she read off the list, said she only had a short time to humililate me. I was shocked and denied all the allegations. The manager took sides with the family and said maybe I come off like "that." I went into the patients room to give her more pain meds and the patient broke down and expressed that her family is screwed up and can't understand why they called and told the NM lies. My manager warned me not to say anything but the pateints started the conversation and wanted to speak to the NM to deny the lies.

What bothers me is that my NM cannot ever find anything positive to say about me, I work hard and go out of my way to please my patients and family. All she does is focus on the wrongs. I am the one who usually updates careplans, makes entries in the educational sheet etc.

I am getting tired of being under a mircroscope and feel like telling her to shove it and I've had enough of being her victum. I've been a nurse for a long time and have always had good reports and reguarded highly. Now I feel lke a looser, or am being made to feel like one.

I live in a one hospital town and have no where else to go unless I leave my husband and move back to a larger city.

I am tired and blowing off steam but I don't know how much more I can take with the witch. Any suggestions for assertion. I wish I would of told her to interview my other patients. I cried all the way home and its not the first time and I have never had a job where I have felt like this. This unit is hurting for nurses, always short staffed, you'd think I'd be cherished instead of crapped on. Kit

[aileenve, ASN, RN]

Make sure you have excellent documentation of all care provided, pt comments, how you addressed any concerns the family or pt. might have...it sounds as if someone has an agenda :uhoh21:

[Patti 2nd gen RN]

If she always treats you this way, find out if you are, or have been her only target. Find out how much support you can expect from the other nurses you work with--make sure you are never alone with her--always have a witness who you can trust to stand up for the truth---yes, maybe you should wind up leaving that situation, but I have found that when a nurse scapegoats and attacks frequently, she will just look for another target when you are gone--it's usually not about the victim, it is about the aggressor's problems. (They usually rotate victims until they run out, then go back to their easiest long-term target) If you can find enough support and documentation, you may be the victim who becomes the survivor to prevent the next "rape"--nurses need to support each other--or else we become responsible for the poor condition of our profession. If you can't get the support, transfer to anther department before she gives you a reputation you will suffer with for a long time with other managers. Know you are not the first nurse to bee treated this way, you are not alone. My prayers are with you. Don't let her steal something precious from you.

[mamason]

Hello,

I'm sorry that this has happened to you. Not all Nurse Managers are cut out to be good ones. I'm sure we've all had our run ins with one at some point in our careers. I Tend to agree with the previous posts on how to deal with this situation. You have many options. "I only have a short time to humiliate you." That's horrible!!Extremely unprofessional in my opinion. For her to just assume that you were in the wrong, without asking you about the situation first, tells me that she is strongly lacking in what I call "people skills."

[Antikigirl, ASN, RN]

Man...I would have asked the manager right then and there to go in and ask the PATIENT if they wish me to continue being their nurse or not just as a customer service curtesy! That would have opened up the truth hopefully...especially if the pt said "oh yes, she is very attentive and sweet...my family are liars!".

Yep hon, up the chain you should go, you are a professional and don't need to be treated like this. They need you obviously...so why in the heck would a manager do this? Doesn't make sence to me, but then again...so many things happen that don't in our profession.

HUGGLES!!!!!!!!!

[mobilmedic]

Here is one thing you can do to this recalcitrant nurse manager: MOON HER!

[mobilmedic]

Best solution for this recalcitrant Nurse Manager: MOON HER!!

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

what a horrible situation!

however it feels right now, your situation is not hopeless. others have given you very good advice on dealing with your manager, and i don't have much to add. if you're unionized, make sure you involve a union representative in all meetings with your boss and her bosses. you'll have someone on your side who has a clearer head than yours, some suggetions and a witness. (subjective there -- my head would not be clear. yours may be.)

if you decide to take yourself out of this toxic environment, or even to consider taking yourself out of it, there are choices. doctor's office, long term care, home health, occupational health, maybe even another unit in the same hospital. if your manager is this toxic, i cannot imagine that other managers aren't aware of the problem. is there another hospital within a do-able commute where you can wait out your current manager's inevitable demise on that unit? or can you commute to another facility in the city. i've worked with many a nurse who drove to spokane or seattle from all over the northwest and canada, worked 3 12-hour shifts, and then drove home again. is that a possibility?

good luck and let us know how things go.

[RebeccaJeanRN]

Best solution for this recalcitrant Nurse Manager: MOON HER!!

Now there's a really professional, helpful response...

(And if simply aiming at humor, better not quit your day job.)

[mobilmedic]

Now there's a really professional, helpful response...

(And if simply aiming at humor, better not quit your day job.)

The name of this site is ALL-NURSES.com; not just professionals: there are retired, disabled, and ALL kinds of nurses. And yes.. this was aimed at humor. And it sounds like your personality closely resembles the nurse manager in question. Or are you her?

[mimer2861]

Where did she get her manager's training? A very important rule for nurse leaders: LISTEN to your staff; you can't do without them!

[moodychick, LPN]

Why is it that some NM's constantly pick on certain people? I've been really lucky in my work that I've not been in this situation. And why should these folks look for a job somewhere else? The nursing shortage is real! I'm an LPN; and it never ceases to amaze me that NM's pick at some RN's until they are ready to quit! Come on! Why would you want to lose your RN's when that's what our MAGNET hospital cares about the most!!!!! I've been around along time and I find that the ones our NM picks on are fabulous nurses and their patients get great care! What's the deal here? :confused:

[Kenova]

I am new here and I was hoping to find some advice. I work in a longterm care facility. Recently I was helping the LPN sign in some drugs while waiting for the ones I have to personally lockup. One of the narcs I signed in for her was a card of 30 vicodin. When the guy gave me my drugs I immediatly locked them up then left the room. The LPN stayed in there with him but then a couple of minutes later I heard him say "do you want me to close the door?" She must have left him in there alone. Later that morning her count was off and that whole card was missing! We searched everywhere, she said she had it and somehow lost it. (they leave them locked in the med room til they have time to put them away. I have keys to that room and so do the 2 LPNs. But...she said she saw them before she put them away. Now..the bad thing I did was leave when we couldn't find them and told the next RN to call me if she needed anything and she said she would contact the DON. WEll, I go home and they called me back and we all looked again and wrote up statements of what we all thought happened then they sent us home, it wasn't til 2 days later they wanted a urine test, then the next thing I find out is that I am being put on administrative leave because I didn't follow procedure properly! I didn't know what that meant and since I got that news, (on my answering machine yesterday) they haven't called me back to tell me what I did wrong???I am a new nurse and didn't know what I was suppose to do, I feel like an idiot, I guess I should have never left, but I did take the pee test and I did give them any info of who I thought could have stolen it, which to my knowlege now was a big mistake....I feel like they are sabbotaging me and I am scared...I have always felt very unsafe there and meant to find another job earlier and now I hope it is not too late! I don't drink and have only taken 2 narcotics in my whole life and that was for my tonsillectomy!

Long term care is hard when you are the RN Supervisor, not to mention one who only got 3 days of shabby training as a brand new nurse....Any advice?? Prayers???