dunno where to start, dunno where to finish! - page 4

I am really feeling it today, it being a gross generalization of terrible feelings one feels when work seems to get the better of them. for the last 2 12 hour nightshifts we were short on the floor,... Read More

  1. by   teeituptom
    Howdy yall
    from deep in the heat of texas

    Sry for the ruff time your having Wendy. I think I will just stay in the quiet and peacefull and uneventfull ER. If you believe that malarkey, I got some property to sell you.
    Find yourself a better job. Dont let them convince you or make you think the world will end if you leave. It goes on regardless. Find somethimg more to your style and pace and to do what you want to accomplish. Before you can take care of patients you have to be able to take care of and to protect yourself.This allows you to function properly as a nurse and as a human being. Go for the gold that is right for you.

    meantime keep singing<chanting>

    doo wah ditty
  2. by   Jenny P
    Hapeewendy, I've always enjoyed reading your posts because you seem to be a medsurg nurse who loves medsurg. In reading those posts, however, there have been several times you have posted about caustic co-workers (or some even seem to be viscious!) and very heavy patient loads, and an ineffectul administration (or is there a better term for them???).

    Down here in the US, we can lose our licenses for mistakes. It is much safer for us to not take the pt. assignment than it is for us to "muddle through the shift. Sharran gave a good example on how to refuse assignments. Can you do that in Canada?

    I need some sleep. will write more of my thoughts when I'm more awa ke.
  3. by   hapeewendy
    I have done a lot of soul searching and thinking lately....I do love my job,medsurg and the nurses I work with , but my health is suffering as a result of all this stress, I went to my family dr today because it kind of all just came to a head this morning and I was sitting here really feeling that I just couldnt go in there this weekend and put myself directly in the same situation that had me so frazzled the past few days , I woke up this morning and the joints in my hands were so swollen and I think that my lupus is flaring up because I'm feeling so overwhelmed with everything.
    my dr was extremely supportive and filled out a medical form for me to be off til monday - which is the official start of my holidays and he told me if anyone on my unit questions my being off that they can call him directly and he will handle things....
    I called occupational health and told them that I was feeling pressured to go in despite the MD's advice and they took it upon themselves to notify my unit of my absence.
    there is so much more to think about, as you know it is never just one thing in your life that falls to pieces.....
    you wonderful people have opened my eyes to the fact that I have seemed particularly bitter with some of the posts I have posted and really thats not who I am at all.
    I dont want to lose who I am, I kinda like who I am.
    I work there because I do feel I bring a lot to the table and that for the most part its a kind working environment , its just been going thru a real rough patch with lots of changes in management and the pt load and census.
    I will head your advice , I never want to feel as though I'm falling thru the cracks.
    I do love nursing , I just need to get my life on track, professionally AND personally.
    I will get thru , thanks to many of you.....
    I am getting back to the hapee fufilled energetic person I seemed to forget about for the last few weeks.....
  4. by   Nurse Ratched
    Hapeewendy, I don't think you come across as bitter - merely justifiably frustrated with what have been some exceedingly unreasonable expectations placed on you. We all try our best, but there are human limits to what we can do when stretched thinner and thinner.

    I'm so glad you're getting a vacation. As others have said, it won't change what will await you on your return, but it may well give you the perspective to decide whether this is a situation in which you want to continue.

    May I also add that "talking things out" with people here has given me excellent phrases and points to use when I hear folks at work expressing similar frustrations. Thank you for posting . And enjoy a hard-earned vacation!
  5. by   Youda
    Wendy, you reminded me of a time when I was under incredible stress, like you are, at work. I went into my doctor's office crying to "get something" to help me through. I was just asking for a sleeper so I could get to sleep. (Anyone hearing major depression here?) He handed me a script alright. But, it was a note to my employer that I couldn't come back to work for TWO WEEKS and that I should collect any sick leave and vacation time coming to me. Then he said to me, "get some rest and use this two weeks to find another job. That's my medical advice." Good man. I took his advice and had another job at the first place I applied to. I never regretted leaving that place!
  6. by   sjoe
    Youda: Great story! (And great doc.)
  7. by   adrienurse
    Wendy! Enjoy you holidays. unplug your phone. Pamper yourself. Tune out the callbells ringing in your head. Get a massage. Spend time with your mother.

    Take care.
  8. by   Kayzee
    Wendy, Feel so bad for you. Don't internalize this, and feel you are responsible. YOU ARE a good nurse. I can tell from your posts.Try to relax during this time, and care for yourself. In this time of reflection, I'm sure you will find the answer to your problems. Follow what your heart tells you. Will be thinking about you. Your post interested me since I am now in orientation for Med- Surg. Hope I made the right decision. But, you know what?Even if this does not work out , I know that there are many different paths I can take.
    Last edit by Kayzee on Aug 16, '02
  9. by   Jenny P
    Hapeewendy, first of all, you are not a bitter person; your job situation is hell! Please don't think bad of yourself for venting here; if you don't relieve some stress somewhere and somehow, your Lupus would be much worse. Ten patients is an impossible assignment in this day and age: the acuity of the patients you had that night is scarey to me. How can your hospital expect to retain good nurses if they treat you like that? I can't understand how they expect patients to live when you are so overwhelmed-- hasn't your hospital heard of the increased acuity of hospitalized patients these days?

    If you are a voracious reader, I'd like to suggest that you read a couple of books while you're on vacation, resting and recuperating. One would be the book Dr. Kate told you about: "What Color is Your Parachute", plus another book because of what you said in your first post here on this thread.
    There is a book titled "From Novice to Expert: Excellence and Power in Clinical Nursing Practice" by Patricia Benner talks about how nurses develop expertise and how often the expert nurses say they sense something is wrong but are unable to back up their gut feelings with hard clinical data initially. As far as that gut feeling you had, congratulations! You are an expert nurse!

    Please relax, take care of yourself, visit with friends and relatives, and refocus your professional life. Think about it: do you want to contiue to grow and develop a career where you do make a difference in peoples' lives; or do you want to continue heading down a path where you will burn out too soon and end up leaving nursing?