Do you find it hard to leave work at work?

Jules A, MSN · Jul 25, 2008

Some days, yes, but there are more good memories that I take home and think about than bad ones.

jlcole45 · Jul 25, 2008

Not very often - not as a staff nurse. Though when I worked in management I broke home work with me (mentally and physically) all the time.

ilstu99 · Jul 25, 2008

I don't find it particularly difficult. My family has no real clue as to what I do all day, they can't come into my unit to gain any type of real understanding, it would take too long to explain it, and I can't talk about specific patients...not to mention, that at the end of the day, I'm tired and pretty unwilling to rehash the entire thing. I just let it go.

Because of these things, though, there's a little bit of a gap between me and my family and non-RN friends. They are almost like a whole different world. Sometimes my children will ask how my babies were today, but it's only really answered with a "pretty sick, honey" or "rowdy!" or something like that. Otherwise, I leave them out of it.

When something particularly stressful happens at work, participants are offered a chance to attend a meeting where everyone shares their feelings and such about the event. It's a nice way to leave the deeper feelings at work. In my humble opinion, people who carry the trauma around all the time burn out pretty fast.

ChristineN, BSN, RN · Jul 25, 2008

I do at times. For example, if a pt I've taken care of for months dies, it's really hard for me to leave that at work. On the other hand, I've seen/been involved with countless codes, seen many sad cases, and as a rule it doesn't bother me. For some reason, the oncology pts particularly get to me, I think it's because their's nothing I can do except comfort measures alot of the time. Different things affect different people. I know I could do ER and the vast majority of what I would see down there would not affect me.

MassED, BSN, RN · Jul 25, 2008

I am about to start nursing school in September, and I have a slight concern about working as a nurse. Do you find it is hard to leave work at work? If you experience something traumatizing or heart wrenching, does it overwhelm you when you go home? Is it hard to separate the two?
I hope to be an ER nurse one day, and I hear you see a lot of traumatizing things. I don't want to become emotionally drained or be constantly thinking of work while I'm not at work. While I realize nursing will be a huge part of my life, I don't want it overtake my life. It seems as though it is unavoidable for anyone in the medical profession to not be impacted by something that happens at work once and a while. But is it even possible to witness something devastating, and not think about it or dwell on it when you walk out the door?
Any opinions and/or advice welcome!

I'm a bit more paranoid, since becoming a nurse, regarding infectious diseases... creeps me out when in public people sneeze and don't wipe their hands or have their weeping wounds exposed.... I worry a lot more about things I never knew about before becoming a nurse. Oh well. With education and increased awareness comes with it the sharp reality of the world in which we reside.

MassED, BSN, RN · Jul 25, 2008

i don't find it particularly difficult. my family has no real clue as to what i do all day, they can't come into my unit to gain any type of real understanding, it would take too long to explain it, and i can't talk about specific patients...not to mention, that at the end of the day, i'm tired and pretty unwilling to rehash the entire thing. i just let it go.
i am the same way. too exhausting to pore over the details.... wow.
because of these things, though, there's a little bit of a gap between me and my family and non-rn friends. they are almost like a whole different world. sometimes my children will ask how my babies were today, but it's only really answered with a "pretty sick, honey" or "rowdy!" or something like that. otherwise, i leave them out of it.
if it weren't for my mom who was an er nurse, i wouldn't have anyone else that really and truly understands. they have no clue.
when something particularly stressful happens at work, participants are offered a chance to attend a meeting where everyone shares their feelings and such about the event. it's a nice way to leave the deeper feelings at work. in my humble opinion, people who carry the trauma around all the time burn out pretty fast.

i so agree with you - you can't carry that burden which is not yours, that being someone else's pain, grief, or tragic circumstance. we have to go on.

bethin · Jul 25, 2008

I'm a CNA, but I don't find it hard to leave the gut wrenching stuff at work. There have been a few times that I had problems and it still bothers me years later. One was a case of a 24 yo father who died from cancer - he was the same age as I at the time. I still remember the day he died and I still think about him. Another was a case of parents who neglected to give their newborn antibiotics (dx of pneumonia) and the child ultimately died. That still angers me and the parents are being prosecuted for that as there was more to the story.

At first I'll admit that I became too emotionally involved but I have learned (somewhat) to distance myself. But there will always be those certain pt's who you just click with then when they die it feels like you lost a loved one. EAP is my best friend.

What can turn me into a grump for days is someone/something making me mad at work. But this is my personality. I have a hard time letting things go and I demand perfection from myself and get very upset if I do not attain that.

We coded a few babies and children when I first started this job 6 years ago. At that time, I did not have nieces. Since their birth and my status as the "cool aunt" it has become hard for me to watch a code involving babies and kids. I can still do the job, but I automatically tear up. Who knew being just an aunt would change me so much.

MassED, BSN, RN · Jul 25, 2008

"Who knew being just an aunt would change me so much."

Wait 'til you have kids.... it's even worse.

nelcoy4 · Jul 25, 2008

I only find it hard to leave work at work if I let myself get emotionally attached to a pt, which is not often.

Roy Fokker, BSN, RN · Jul 25, 2008

I moved over a 1000 miles away for my new job.

I still call every once in a while to keep in touch with old friends.

There is a particular patient who affects me, to this very day. Her story is just so heart breaking (young, single parent to two lovely children. Diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, mets everywhere. Difficult pain control issues. Worried about kids and "what will they do when I'm gone?" No other known family :sniff: ). I still remember printing out and reading jokes to her and telling her funny stories from my days in the army to cheer her up...

So every time I call, one of the other nurses working there (we've both been assigned this patient on and off for about 2 years) will update me about her condition. Pt. was last admitted about 3 weeks ago for bowel obstruction - apparently she was delirious and a little out of it...

... but she asked for me by name. She still remembered me - even though I'd quit that hospital over 6 months ago. Her docs are pretty certain she doesn't have much longer.

That day at work I was, well; a little 'subdued'. I wasn't a sobbing wreck or anything but I was not my usual, bouncy, cheerful, funny self either.

Sometimes I bear witness to some truly horrific things. There is just no easy way to tell someone their loved one has passed away. It's that much more harder when the pt. is a child/infant and the party being informed is the distraught parent.

But in general, I don't have a problem leaving "work at work".

I manage to keep my head clear about it. I have avenues to unwind - good friends to hang out with. One of my buddies works in my department - we usually hang out and commiserate over beer and darts. Shoot some pool. One of my best friends back home is a physician and I'll usually call her after a really bad day to unwind. Having friends in the medical/health care field helps.

Or I'll talk to my folks. I maintain a blog.

In any case, I talk, write or do something about it... anything but 'keep it inside me'. I learned the hard way. I don't talk about/write about everything either - somethings, I'll take to the grave with me.

cheers,

FranNHRN · Jul 25, 2008

I have always found myself wondering how patients are doing if I've had a particularly sick patient. I left for vacation and thought about a patient that I knew was having a back sacral ulcer debrided while I was laying on the beach. I had a brief experience taking care of a hospice patient while I was working home care, and decided I could not do that job. My agency lost all of it's hopice nurses at once and I cared for a 100 year old woman who was dying of end stage CHF. She died on Christmas Eve and I found it very difficult to leave the thoughts of her at work. Also, my husband works at the same hospital as I do, so we often talk about the place. That can be difficult, but it's nice to have lunch with him every day!!!:loveya: