Do experienced nurses really eat their young?

whit717 · Apr 27, 2007

I agree with what you said, but I just kept thinking: she is going to have to evaluate my performance when all this is over. Normally what you described is my attitude exactly, she just didn't strike me as a person who would appreciate my honesty about her character flaws. Were I put in the situation again, I would definately stand up for myself more - live and learn right?

buddiage · Apr 27, 2007

"I doubt the CNO there would be very happy to learn that your preceptor acted this way; it is not a way to encourage people to come to work there!! "

That's my thoughts exactly.

Start looking elsewhere- and inform your CNO that, while you are thankful she/he gave you an opportunity for a preceptorship there, you will decline working at a place where "undressing" employees in front of pt's and other peers is commonplace. I'm sure you did clinical rotations elsewhere and got to see other places.

You are NOT a martyr for this organization, so there is no need to deal with someone so blatantly obnoxious and aggressive. Go somewhere else, and kick the dirt off your shoes before you leave.

anonymurse · Apr 27, 2007

Tell ya what, when my manager and I interviewed each other, she told me who my preceptor was going to be (I was already 100% sold on her and the supportiveness, openness and total lack of backstabbing on her unit). I worked with him 2 days as a student and we clicked perfectly. I accepted the offer. I didn't think to ask about pay until after I began work. All depends on personal priorities. My #1 priority was not being someone's breakfast. My #2 was a supportive, non-judgmental learning environment. I figured if those two were OK, I was good to go. Other students figured they'd go for the highest pay they could find and they'd suck up whatever might come with that. Most others had a specific specialty they wanted and nothing else. Every prioritization has its trade-offs. If you got your priorities satisfied, you won, no matter what else happens. Think on that as you drive to work. You deserve to get some enjoyment out of your work.

nurseinlimbo · Apr 27, 2007

Unfortunately sometimes the people who chose to precept students are not always the best people for the job. And you will encounter many people like this once you are working as coworkers as well. People who set you up, lie, embarrass you, berate you in front of patients, doctors, other staff, families. We aren't all like that, but there are enough to make it a serious problem in the nursing field. The stats are there, and I would guess that it is the number one reason why new hires and new grads leave a workplace. I know it's happened to me more often than not.

I am the one who "walks away with that sad look in my eye" as an above poster said, because I can't believe that people who are supposed to be in a field where compassion is considered a quality essential, treat eachother this way.

squeakykitty · Apr 27, 2007

I agree with what you said, but I just kept thinking: she is going to have to evaluate my performance when all this is over. Normally what you described is my attitude exactly, she just didn't strike me as a person who would appreciate my honesty about her character flaws. Were I put in the situation again, I would definately stand up for myself more - live and learn right?

I would CYA and document everything just in case she gets vindictive and lies. There are people in this world who are that nasty.

nurseinlimbo · Apr 27, 2007

I don't defend my choice, I work to live not the other way around. I work where I work because it's convenient, 10 minutes from home, they gave me a rotation, it works with my life. I found out in OR training that it is just as routine, mundane, and you are disrespected by the surgeons and anesthesiologists, as well as the other nurses. No thanks! Med surg is a nightmare where I would have to go, run off your feet, too many patients to do good quality care and hugely political units. ICU and ER don't interest me.

I prefer to focus my energy on the other things that are important to me in life, and leave the egomaniacs to discuss whose the best nurse.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Apr 27, 2007

I agree with what you said, but I just kept thinking: she is going to have to evaluate my performance when all this is over. Normally what you described is my attitude exactly, she just didn't strike me as a person who would appreciate my honesty about her character flaws. Were I put in the situation again, I would definately stand up for myself more - live and learn right?

Exactly. Live and learn. You know how it feels to be mistreated. Now are you going to let it happen again? If it does are you going to let it happen multiple times like you did in the original post. I hope not and I think not. It's not an easy process. Especially when it's someone who is doing your evaluation. You have to definately pick and choose your battles in nursing. Many of us expect nurses to compassionate "nice" nurses. When we run across the "not so nice" ones, sometimes it's just them being assertive and themselves and we can accept them. Othertimes they step on our toes and we have to tell them to get off.

Shame on the nurse who treats you that way once. But shame on you if, as you say, it "happend a multitude of times" by the same person.

allnurses Guide · Apr 27, 2007

Exactly. Live and learn. You know how it feels to be mistreated. Now are you going to let it happen again? If it does are you going to let it happen multiple times like you did in the original post. I hope not and I think not. It's not an easy process. Especially when it's someone who is doing your evaluation. You have to definately pick and choose your battles in nursing. Many of us expect nurses to compassionate "nice" nurses. When we run across the "not so nice" ones, sometimes it's just them being assertive and themselves and we can accept them. Othertimes they step on our toes and we have to tell them to get off.
Shame on the nurse who treats you that way once. But shame on you if, as you say, it "happend a multitude of times" by the same person.

When I was young, I didn't stand up for myself. I've lived and I've learned too. Everyone does.

Good luck to the OP - don't let anyone behave unprofessionally to you from now on.

steph

linzz · Apr 27, 2007

I had a preceptor that was like yours. She would even talk about me behind my back and the other nurses would tell me what she said. If I could handle this situation over again, I would do as Tweety said and stand up to her in a somewhat assertive, but polite way. I would also ask her to tell me exactly what I could do better and how both of us could make that happen. Don't worry about a bad evaluation because she may do that anyway as it is and doesn't your school have the final say on whether you pass or not. I would also let your CI know what is going on sooner rather than later, document these events in detail, and ask your teacher how you should handle this. I would also really think twice about working at that hospital. My area has two local hospitals and one has a very bad reputation for very poor leadership. Bullying and high turnover run rampant there. In my nursing class, some students would not have even considered doing consolidation at this particular hospital.

Old fashioned · Apr 27, 2007

Yes Virginia, there is no Santa Claus in nursing. If it is of any comfort, I have been in nursing since I graduated as a diploma RN in 1978. I have been in various areas medical/surgical (community hospital

Even though I am experienced, 2 hospitals (major trauma hospital and an inner city hospital), have spit me out the door in 2 to 3 weeks, expecting me to work "as their nurses" in 1 day after oriented!!! So, I can appreciate your feelings and just say find anyone and everyone to vent to, and that with this hospital, the first year may be your roughest. Unfortunately, you may still have some bumps to deal with later. Try to find within yourself your strengths and weaknesses and be clear to anyone who wants to hire you, "just what you can do" without sugar coating your experience.

Nursing is not as bedside as it was almost 30 years ago....good luck and I wish for you great strength from family and friends.

:balloons: :nurse: :Melody: :smiley_ab :w00t:

swatch007 · Apr 28, 2007

:uhoh21: OK - so I am about 2 weeks from graduating nursing school, and I did my preceptorship at my hometown hospital. My preceptor was a complete you know what! I mean we've all heard the saying that nurses eat their young, but this really drove it home. I was only there a total of 4 days and she managed to embarrass me in a multitude of different ways. If I couldn't remember how to do certain paperwork specific to that hospital, she made a show right there in front of all the other nurses and CNAs. In front of patients she would scold me like a child for doing things she didn't agree with, even though that is how I was taught to do them in nursing school. I have never pretended to know everything about nursing in the limited time I have spent in nursing school and all of my clinicals have to add up to be about three months tops! I really thought that if I didn't know how to do something I could ask without fearing some awful outcome. By the time I got through there she had me resistant to ask questions, and that made me miserable. Of course I would never endanger a patient for lack of knowledge, but how much humiliation can one person take?? Now I find that I have lost confidence in myself and my nursing abilities, which I know only I can allow that to happen, but I find myself asking: what if you really can't keep up? I LOVE nursing, everything about it. But I want to be good at it as well. Was she too harsh, or was I really unable to keep up like I should have been able to. I'm lost! The worst part is this is the hospital I will be going to work at after I graduate and pass boards. How can I handle working with her, especially if she is who is going to train me?

Another wounded warrior, and you come to the right place where healing takes place. I won't have to say anything else since many of us here have responded to your post; however, the only one thing I want to say is "It's great to know that there are many people here who sincerely wishing you well and offering you kind words to soothen your soul."

Part of this website should be called "VIRTUAL HOSPITAL" because of the attention and kind words you get from members are like medications.

Opppsss... didn't I say I won't say anything else??

whit717 · Apr 28, 2007

Another wounded warrior, and you come to the right place where healing takes place. I won't have to say anything else since many of us here have responded to your post; however, the only one thing I want to say is "It's great to know that there are many people here who sincerely wishing you well and offering you kind words to soothen your soul."
Part of this website should be called "VIRTUAL HOSPITAL" because of the attention and kind words you get from members are like medications.
Opppsss... didn't I say I won't say anything else??

I completely agree!! Can't express my gratitude for all of yall's kind words and advice. It is so nice to be able to come here and talk to others who know where I'm coming from. You can talk to family but it's just not the same. Thanks again for all the perspective. It really helped!!