Can you believe this cr*p??? - page 3

My grandfather died unexpectedly Thursday. My grandmother was out of town, and I was notified at work. I left work to go find my grandmother and tend to all the funeral things for her, as I knew... Read More

  1. by   purplemania
    Only my immediate family has my cell phone number. My employer provides me with a beeper and, when not on duty, I turn the thing off. Sorry about your loss and this extra stress that you did not need.
  2. by   Gator,SN
    Karo, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I wish you peace and healing.

    I am also sorry that at this time, you have to deal with such insensitive people at work.
  3. by   colleen10
    Hi Karo,

    I am very sorry for the loss of your grandfather.

    I wanted to let you know that I think this chicky is an idiot! I am currently a nursing student but am working while in school as a secretary/receptionist for a very small office in the manufacturing industry. I have had similar incidences happen to me too, so I have to wonder if it's not just the medical field but all fields and if our society is going down the tubes.

    Last year my step-mother's father passed away after several months of being in extremely poor health. I am pretty close with my step-mum and father and it was hard for me to see her father deteriorate so rapidly. On top of it, she had taken FMLA for the maximum 3 months to take care of him at his apartment 24-7. It was a very stressful time for our whole family.

    When he did pass it was still hard but sort of a relief in a number of ways. I told my boss that I would have to take a day off to attend the funeral. I told him the very second I found out that Paps had passed even though I didn't know the exact date of the funeral, etc. Which ended up being 4 days warning.

    Then began the 20 questions. My boss, who never once gave any type of condolence started interigating me about when the funeral would be, where it would be, etc. Then, he only gave me half a day off for it. I was only allowed to be out the morning of the funeral and had to return to work right after the service at the cemetary.

    Please keep in mind that I am a receptionist in an office of 4 people. I am not responsible for anything, the phone never rings and I don't really do anything in the office, as evidenced by this lengthy message.

    The day of the funeral I absolutely could not go into work after the service. I mean, I couldn't leave my family after everything. So, my husband called into the office and told my boss that I was a mess and I wouldn't be in. My boss had the audacity to cop an attitude with my husband!

    This wasn't just the only time something like this has happened too. My husbands 17 year old nephew was killed in a very tragic car accident and when I found out I told my boss that there might be a few hours that I would have to leave work to take my husband to the airport so that he could fly back home to Oklahoma for the funeral. I wasn't able to go because of expenses and classes.

    My boss once again never even gave an "I'm sorry" and instead coped a tude about how I would have to make my drive out to the airport as quick as possible, preferably after office hours, etc.

    Is our culture so bent on working all the time and being fast paced that we can't give people a few days to mourn their losses? Do most people really think that working and making the all mighty dollar is more important than attending a funeral or giving yourself time to recouperate? Or, are people so concerned with themselves and their problems that they are incapable to feel empathy for someone else?

    I just don't understand.
  4. by   bedpan
    It is pathetic isn't it colleen? - Some jobs just aren't worth it regardless of what they pay - When you have one like that it is definately time to find another job and let them continue on without you.
  5. by   healingtouchRN
    I can believe this. I called out sick with a migraine & the staffing clerk ask me if I could come in @ 11p rather than 7p! I just am forever amazed. I just wanted to call out the whole week!!!! It's one "occurance" whether it's one day or 10 as long as it's consecutive....this makes my headache worse.
  6. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Originally posted by KaroSnowQueen

    THE VERY SAME staffing person I talked to every time called me on my cell phone today asking me to come to work this afternoon???!!

    I am ready to go wait tables and tell them to kiss my foot!!!!!!
    Sometimes it's not lack of compassion, it's sheer stupidity.

    Sometimes we are overwhelmed when staffing is a wreck and just grab the book and start calling. Does she know personally who you are? If not she may have just "filed" the information in the never never land of her head. That is assuming it's a big staff and she wouldn't realize A. Brown was also Annie Brown or whatever.

    But -- I would bank on the stupidity thing.

    So sorry for your loss, your gram is lucky to have you!
  7. by   Buddha
    Sorry Karo for your loss and give my sympathy to all yours,
    Want to hear real stupidity, my father died in 1998 around 11 am in the afternoon at home alone. My mother called his work to tell then he would not be at work on 3-11 and that he died.
    Two days later during the funeral the shift manager at his prison called to give my father hell for not showing up to work on his cell phone. My mother gave to phone to the minister during the service because he said Dad had to call himself off. The minister
    laid the phone in the coffin and continued on with the service.
    It wasn't funny then but cracks the family up when we talk about it today.
  8. by   flashpoint
    I'm sorry for your loss! (HUGS) It's too bad when the people we work for or with get so caught up in the fact that we are working short that they don't even realize how stupid they are being. The day of my mother in law's funeral, I had to go in and give a deposition on a patient who broke her him while in the hospital. The jerk lawyers wouldn't even let me go first so I could get out of there andthey threatened me with legal charges if I didn't show up, so....

    It's better than the place I worked as a CNA when I was in high school. I was scheduled to work the day of my high school graduation and when I got married a month later (don't ask! :-)) they left 15 messages on my parent's answering maching trying to get me to come in and work after the wedding...LOL.

    Again, very sorry for your loss. I would let someone with a little power know how you feel. It's bad enough to have to deal with a loss in your family without also puttign up with that!
  9. by   colleen10
    I agree with cot jockey in that I would bring it to someone's attention. Even if the secretary "just wasn't thinking" there needs to be some sort of procedure in place to make sure that people who truly are not available are not called. Like that "red line" mentioned earlier.

    I might even go to the secretary and tell her how I felt about what happened. I don't think I would be mean about it, just very factual. She may not have had a clue and be apologetc but at least I would get these feelings off my chest and maybe not resent her so much.
  10. by   oceanblue
  11. by   Edward,IL
    Once, while doing a private duty home care case, I called my NM and told her that my mother had passed and I would need to be out of town for a week (I was obviously crying as I spoke). Her rude response was "Well I'm not going to be able to find anybody to cover your off days..." The patient's mother grabbed the phone out of my hand and chewed her out for me.
    I love my patient's! No one else will stand up for us.
    Edward, IL
  12. by   wif411
    I hope that when you go back to work you shower them with kindness. Then in a cople of months--after you cool off and grieve some---tell them it was hurtful that their compassion was on such short supply the day they called you.
    In the meantime, I pray for you and your family. And if you can find it in your heart pray for the one that called you. That maye they will not do the next employee like that.