Alcoholic Mother--Need Professional Advice

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pie123

480 Posts

I come from a family of alcoholics: my mother, her mother & father, my great-grandfather, & I have an aunt who was headed down that path, but to my knowledge, she has cleaned herself up...somewhat.

I can remember being 5-6 years old, & seeing my grandmother being wheeled out of our house on a stretcher after one of her drinking binges.

My mother started drinking at age 28. Now, she pretty much drinks every night after work, & starts early on her off days. She doesn't think she's an alcoholic because she can still make it to work, etc.

Personally, I can't stand the taste of alcohol or dealing with drunk people.

When my mom first started drinking, I liked it (isn't that sick) because she was REALLY nice (she usually was a hard-a** on us when she was sober). Then her behavior became really embarrassing: incontinence; falling down; calling people at all times of the night, & I'd have to apologize for her; attempting to drive; passing out in a field after a party, & being carried home by 4 men, who could have done who knows what with/to her; & the list goes on.

Sorry I have no advice for you, only to share my story. I know all to well what it is like to have this addiction affect someone that you really care about.

My mom is averse to any sort of rehab because she does not think she is an alcoholic, simply because she is able to function in everyday life. My grandmother has been in-and-out of rehab facilities, & once she was sober for roughly one month, then she started drinking again. Good luck to you with getting help for your mom.

Siouxz2

70 Posts

My sister called this morning. Apparently last night my mom went into V-Fib. The report we got was that she had stopped breathing suddenly and they pounded on her chest and got her back (?). My mom woke up to them pounding on her chest and said there were 8 people in her room. This is all third-hand information. They said she almost coded.

I know V-fib is a very bad thing. Ironically, V-fib is what killed my dad at age 43. From what I can gather online, you either do CPR, defibrillation, or the patient dies. I'm assuming the "pounding on her chest" she was talking about was them doing CPR????

So begins another loooonnnnggg day. Well, at least I got a really good night's sleep last night.

Nurse_Ben

38 Posts

I'm assuming the "pounding on her chest" she was talking about was them doing CPR????

It's called a precordial "thump". Its used to covert the person back into NSR. Its used sometimes while you are waiting for a defibrilator. I'm sorry about your situation. I can't imagine. :o

kea6783

128 Posts

Sad to see how many peoples' lives are affected by alcoholism. My dad has been one for decade, and my brother started early. I remember my brother, 17 at the time, going to AA meetings with my dad.

I know this may sound selfish but after a while, you have to realize you can't do anything else. You can't help someone that has no desire to help themselves, right? ALANON a great idea, I'm thinking about taking a friend who is going through some stuff with her mom.

God bless you and your sister for having the courage and patience to deal with this. I'm sorry this has happened, especially given the circumstances in which she started drinking.

Best of luck to you.

CoffeeRTC, BSN, RN

3,734 Posts

I'm sitting here a little teary reading this. My dad battled alcoholism for 40 years? He lost last month.

Please don't feel guilty. As far as making them get help for thier medical problems or drinking. You can't. Plain and simple. Dad was sober for almost 2 years. I'd love to know what made him take that first drink again, but I will never know. My mom goes to Alanon still and says it is a big help.

Maybe now that your mom is in the hospital, someone will explain some options to her. Please have them help her with a living will.

mattsmom81

4,516 Posts

My mother used to drink/drug herself into a stupor and tried half hearted suicide attempts...I'd find her when I was a child, carving at her wrists. I got to the point I wanted to scream at her 'If you want to kill yourself, do us all a favor...just do it right... so WE can move on'. Then of course I felt terrible for those feelings...the children of self destructive addicts live in a world of pain and guilt.

Its gutwrenching watching someone you love self destruct. Sounds like she's to the point where you can soon consider going before a judge, declare her incompetent, and find a placement for her.

Please go to Alanon meetings for support, and find a counselor you can talk to who can also advise you of your options with your mother.

(((HUGS)))

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