Ack! My Mother is "That patient" - page 2

You know, one of those that you groan about. She's whiny and crabby and c/o pain all the time. Yes she has some psych issues too, She's dx with depression and anxiety and being hospitalized is just... Read More

  1. by   bethem
    Quote from msdobson
    [banana]How much kissing up should we do for the staff? I've already brought candy.[/banana]

    I'm thinking Plasma TV....
    Our ward just had a couple of financial donations from families of recently deceased patients - one of $400 and the other $835,000. That could certainly help ease your way!
  2. by   DDRN4me
    My dad was never an easy patient... so instead of being embarrassed (which believe me i was ) I would directly tell the nurses that he could be difficult and they had my permission to "put him in line" ... most of the time he was nice to them and brutal to me
    I also let them know every day how much i appreciated their care; and would send appropriate flowers/food / card when he was discharged.
  3. by   puggymae
    My mother always acts like a pyscho when she is in the hospital. You would think she is staying a 5 star all inclusive resort and that the nurses and other staff are her slaves.
    Once when I got there to visit her the nursing supervisor was in her room because mother had paged her - her ice water was too COLD, and the water pitcher wasn't sitting where she wanted it to be on her table.
    Had I been the supervisor I think I would have poured the water over her head and flung the pitcher at her!
    Tell the staff you are sorry for her childish behavior, buy treats, pray your mom gets to go home soon.
  4. by   General E. Speaking, RN
    My dad had a AAA that lead to surgery to repair it. He was at the hospital that I used to work at. Dad is on lots of pain meds for chronic back problems as well as Valium for anxiety. He's a smoker, too. He went nuts in the hospital- crawling over the side rails, swearing that someone stuck a knife in his rectum (suppository?), audio/visual hallucinating, calling me and my Mom in the middle of the night very confused. It is scary to see your parent in that state. However, he kept trying to "smoke" the pulse oximeter that was clamped on his finger...glowing red light made him think it was a cig? That was kinda funny. I think his situation was exacerbated by withdrawal from nicotine and regular pain meds. He doesn't remember anything. Brought donuts/cookies for the nurses all the time!
  5. by   michigooseBSN
    My story is a bit different and with a happy ending. My husband had inpatient knee surgery many years ago and was on my unit. He was unable to void for many hours after surgery and his nurse told him (threatened is how he took it) if he couldn't void he would be catheterized. He was very upset and verbally belligerent (he's a real quiet sweetie usually) and I admit I felt embarrassed. I just told him of his right to refuse the catheterization and he calmed down. Eventually he was able to void and the crisis passed. LOL
  6. by   UM Review RN
    I've had the problem too. Once I was on the phone to a close relative who was in the hospital for an allergic reaction that went unnoticed for close to a week. They took her right away, gave her solumed (or some sort of IV steriod) and IV benadryl and sent her up to a room. I called her about 0900.

    She said, "Hang on a sec," and I heard her rummaging around in her purse.

    "What was that?" I asked.

    "Oh, I'm still itchy so I took another couple Benedryl. I didn't want to bother the nurse, I know she's busy."


    I had to call the desk, get the nurse, have her check the last dose, she had to call the doc and write an incident report, and all the other stuff involved.

    Mom -- yes, it was my mother, who really ought to have known better -- got a stern lecture from me and had to give up her purse.

    The nurse got a thank-you card for those extra hours of hassle.
  7. by   Cattitude
    Ok you guys have made me feel much better.

    I just get tired of hearing how she's "ignored" by the nurses. How "no one cares". She "rings and rings and no one ever comes".
    "I ask for ginger ale on my tray and sometimes they don't send it" OH THE HORROR MOM!!!!

    So we bring her six packs of soda, plenty of snacks and I try to explain all the inner workings of the hospital to her.
    Of course that doesn't explain the near Overdose of last night. I'm still trying to get all the info on THAT one. Apparently they tried to switch her to methadone for pain control BUT were giving her BOTH methadone and percocet all night long. I think it was a med error because she said this morning the day nurse came in with the Dr. checking out her pupils and talking about "OD".

    Who knows. She seems fine and I'm waiting for some answers now..I told her to make sure and ASK what pills she is taking and call me with questions. Usually she is very sharp and quite intelligent but she went in to the hospital and checked her brain at the door!
  8. by   doingourbest
    Quote from Cattitude
    You know, one of those that you groan about. She's whiny and crabby and c/o pain all the time. Yes she has some psych issues too, She's dx with depression and anxiety and being hospitalized is just making it 10 times worse!

    She's a week post op for spinal surgery, she had several things done inclucing a discectomy. She is now in sub-acute rehab and driving us all nuts.

    I guess I'm just venting but have any of you had family members who "acted up" in the hospital? I used to work in this hospital and I'm a little red-faced by her behavior. I've told her to be nice and she swears she is but I know that she's a big baby too.
    I only feel a little bit mean. There's a lot more history here so no flaming please!

    How much kissing up should we do for the staff?:spin: I've already brought candy.
    I understand where you are coming from. My dad has been a patient in 3 of the facilities that I have worked in. Under my care in each of them. Fortunately he is an easy patient other than being non compliant about calling for help. At one facility we actually signed a waiver not to have him on physical restraints, so that the nurses would not be having to make out incident reports and call the doctor TID because of some non-injury fall. At my last facility with him he did not fall at all, but called for us to take him to the bathroom every 20 minutes. Still, he was an easy one to get along with. Seems to me that you are already helping your mom out by being aware of her issues and showing appreciation to the staff. The worst situation is when a patient is difficult and the family members take it out on the nurses. There is only so much we can do to get the doctor to prescribe more pain medication, and sometimes they just wont. Often that is in the patients best interest. Although there have been times when I have fought tooth and nail with the doctor to get something to help a resident and they just wouldn't do it. Usually that has been because when the doctor sees the patient they say "Oh, I'm fine. No I'm not having any pain" but when the doctor leaves they are telling their family that they are in excrutiating pain and no one will do anything about it. Or then there are the patients in nursing homes who just want to go home and will say anything to get their family to take them there. Doesn't sound like your mom is one of those. Sounds like she is truly in pain and needs more medication. I imagine that you know whether or not that would help her or harm her. Sounds to me like you are offering more than enough appreciation, and candy isn't necessary. I would just let the staff know that you really appreciatte what they are doing, and be understanding about any complaints from your mother. I always just try to make sure what my dad says about staff was accurate before I say anything negative. :spin:
  9. by   bigsyis
    Oh, good grief! My Mother, too! The very person who taught us to be polite and thankful when we were under stress (thankful for the good things), forgot every bit of that when she was in subacute care s/p elective hip replacement. When she was in for the first hip, we thought that maybe it was the meds or something. She was so rude that you would've thought that she had been born Queen Got Rocks or something. It was embarrasssing for my brother and sister and me, but more so for my poor Dad, who also couldn't do anything right, bless his heart! Anyway, 18 months later, the second hip was done, and it was WORSE! When we picked her up to take her home I went to the Nurses Station and apologized to them all. I know they all went out to delebrate that evening. It seems the older she gets, the more "Superior" she acts, and the less and less anyone can do to please her. My Dad, on the other hand, gets even more kind and gentle with the passing years, and everybody that meets him loves him. My Mom has the personality of an angry porcupine. I have tried to talk to her about depression (I am sure that she is), but she wouldn't even consider that she might be depressed. I even bought a bottle of St. John's Wort and took to her (because a Rx is unheard of, for that)to try. She told me to take it back with me, that she didn't need it. What CAN you do? This bad behavior is the very thing that she used to get after us for!
    Last edit by bigsyis on May 18, '07 : Reason: too many hands
  10. by   RNSC
    My story is a little different. I had a miscarriage a few years ago and had to go the small ER close to my home. They gave me Demerol for pain and I had some kind of reaction. I cursed everyone in the ER out. And I don't remember doing it. I remember getting to the ER getting the IM and the waking up post-op. My husband was so embarassed when he told me what happened. I sent a letter to admin and the ER apologizing and still blush when I think about it.