A thread for Indian men of descent regarding their children - page 2
Recently, I went back to the city where my children are living with my ex-wife. I have 2 children. It was my daughter's 16th birthday and she, her younger sister, and I went out to celebrate this in... Read More
Oct 16, '07From: US ; Joined: Jan '06; Posts: 13,193; Likes: 17,911Wolfie, you're in my thoughts.
Your daughter is behaving very typically for a teen-aged girl with divorced parents, my friend. She is trying - and succeeding - to make you feel hurt and guilty. She'll outgrow it.
Just keep the lines open and stop apologizing. It's her turn to say, "I'm sorry" now.
And I'm sorry you're going through this.
Oct 16, '07From: US ; Joined: Jan '05; Posts: 1,008; Likes: 369My advice would be to continue to talk to friends and family about your feelings, give you dgt some time. Besides being spoiled and demanding , which many teenagers are, they are also known to act out their emotions this way. Perhaps you could talk to your ex about this, maybe she can help the situation. Next time, I would not take either girl to the mall for their birthday. Maybe a dinner and movie.
Oct 16, '07Joined: Apr '00; Posts: 24,611; Likes: 35,453Quote from steelcityrndang, you don't have to tell him twice.Next time, I would not take either girl to the mall for their birthday.
Oct 17, '07Occupation: Charge Nurse Specialty: 32 year(s) of experience in Med-Surg, Geriatric, Behavioral Health ; From: US ; Joined: Oct '04; Posts: 12,610; Likes: 3,287Thanks for all the words and the prayers. I have made one call and sent two emails....no response. I plan to call again later this week or next. My ex is sort of unreliable to speak to....having some of her own agendas. No disrespect meant in saying that, but this tends to be a truth. I will continue to attempt my outreaches to my daughter...at the same time, not ignoring my younger one in the process. Yes, it is hard being a divorced parent who lives in another city....especially when there is a strain in the relationship of my child.
Again....I read everyone's words and very much appreciate them. They brought great comfort and good wisdom.
WolfieLast edit by Thunderwolf on Oct 17, '07
Oct 17, '07Occupation: Charge Nurse Specialty: 32 year(s) of experience in Med-Surg, Geriatric, Behavioral Health ; From: US ; Joined: Oct '04; Posts: 12,610; Likes: 3,287This thread is open for other men of descent who may wish to discuss the impact of their children. I will provide an update regarding myself as it should present itself.
Oct 24, '07Specialty: orthopedics, ED observation ; Joined: Oct '07; Posts: 174; Likes: 86Although I'm a Mom (which I'm sure you had gathered!), I just wanted to add my support.
Teenagers are rough! DS17 had me frustrated to the point of losing my temper last week, and I needed to go apologize to him. Nothing humbles you like needing to admit a mistake to your child! However, I am not convinced that setting limits on a child can be considered a mistake, so I hope that that decision is not part of the pain you are feeling.
You are to be commended for maintaining a long-distance relationship with your children - difficult at best, and for continuing to reach out to a child who is currently not receptive.
Hope you are able to get some resolution soon - my mommy heart aches for you and your daughter(s)
Oct 29, '07Occupation: Charge Nurse Specialty: 32 year(s) of experience in Med-Surg, Geriatric, Behavioral Health ; From: US ; Joined: Oct '04; Posts: 12,610; Likes: 3,287Thanks everyone, again, for your wonderful understanding and support. I was able to reconnect up with my oldest daughter, as well as with my younger one, and we had a great two days together. My oldest daughter (16) and I was able to spend some alone time as well together...went out for a coffee, see a musical ("Across the Universe" which we both wanted to see), getting a camera bag for her camera, talking and sharing, and being a little family again for a period of time. I may not be much, but I do try to be a good Dad to my kids when I am with them. Yes, we all make mistakes. And yes, I could certainly become better at what I do as Dad. But, I am Dad, a man, and am so very human.
Again, thanks for all the well wishes and hugs.
I will leave this thread open for other men of Indian descent who may have similar heart tugs from their children.
Oct 30, '07Occupation: PMHNP From: US ; Joined: Dec '03; Posts: 2,918; Likes: 1,550Quote from ThunderwolfI had to leave my ex when my son and daughter were 5 and 6 years old. It hurts but I just let them know I was always there for them. My daughter became a little devil and she and I had some hard times and I even kicked her out of my ex's house and out on the street and we spent Christmas without her. She came back a week later a better person and she actually has a better relationship with me now than with her mother. She just got married this year...poor guy! Anyway, your daughter will get over it at least by the time she's 30, lol.Please say a prayer for me in the hope of our reconciliation.
That reminds me. A psychologist friend of mine gave his teenage daughter a pair of jeans for Christmas one year. She held them up and remarked that they weren't xxx brand. My friend took a pair of scissors and cut them to shreds. She never made that mistake again. I always liked that guy!