Funny things you have said but wish you didn't

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A few years ago, I was on the phone with a person from the local lumber company. having in mind to ask if they had any tar paper. But instead, toilet paper slipped out.

That remark started the person on the other end's funnybone. In response to my question, he yelled to the help, "Do we have any toilet paper? The lady on the phone wants to know." Then he said, "Yes we do, but it's rather coorifice. What grade would you like?"

My husband is a youth pastor and one day he was doing a lesson from Genesis where it talks about Adam and Eve were embarrassed about being naked and sewed fig leaves together to make clothing. One of the boys in the group was reading the verse aloud and said, "They were naked so they s@rewed". He lost the lesson at that point, but learned a valuable lesson himself on having people read aloud.

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Good one!!!!

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Speaking of taped reports, years ago we were listening to an LVN who had a pronounced Texas twang give her report. The patient was an 80 year old man who had pneumonia which was caused by multiple organisms, but when the LVN gave the diagnosis, she said "pneumonia with multiple orgasms". We NEVER let her live that one down! :rotfl:

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Great thread!! I generally open my mouth to change feet. Pam

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Young man called the office and told me that he had to take a drug test, as part of his pre employment requirements. The problem was that he has smoked a joint the night before the drug test and wanted to know what to do.

My answer: Don't smoke a joint, when you know you have to take a drug test.

Ooops.

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
Speaking of taped reports, years ago we were listening to an LVN who had a pronounced Texas twang give her report. The patient was an 80 year old man who had pneumonia which was caused by multiple organisms, but when the LVN gave the diagnosis, she said "pneumonia with multiple orgasms". We NEVER let her live that one down! :rotfl:
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: I wouldn't either.
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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
Speaking of taped reports, years ago we were listening to an LVN who had a pronounced Texas twang give her report. The patient was an 80 year old man who had pneumonia which was caused by multiple organisms, but when the LVN gave the diagnosis, she said "pneumonia with multiple orgasms". We NEVER let her live that one down! :rotfl:
:rotfl: :rotfl: I wouldn't either.:rotfl: :rotfl:
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When I was a new grad, I was working on a unit in LTC that was adjoining to another unit.Well I was doing 3-11p and it was about 10:45 when I saw this man wander over to my unit from the other unit, so I carefully approached him and explained he was on the wrong unit and we needed to go see his nurse, he looked at me funny,paused and said Hi I'm Dr so and so. I ALMOST DIED.After that I avoided him like the plague>LOL

Cheryl

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
When I was a new grad, I was working on a unit in LTC that was adjoining to another unit.Well I was doing 3-11p and it was about 10:45 when I saw this man wander over to my unit from the other unit, so I carefully approached him and explained he was on the wrong unit and we needed to go see his nurse, he looked at me funny,paused and said Hi I'm Dr so and so. I ALMOST DIED.After that I avoided him like the plague>LOL

Cheryl

:rotfl: :roll :lol2: I don't blame you. Talk about putting your foot in your mouth.:rotfl:
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I work nights - MD comes in Monday morn, all docs and nurses are sitting around for report. He tells me daughter is prego and getting married. Daughter used to be a friend of mine, not anymore; so I say loudly enough for everyone to hear"is the baby his (fiances)?", just knowing that daughter is, can we say promiscuous. He turns red and says "Dear, Ijust hope so." Icould have about stuck my foot in my mouth right then and there!!!:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
I work nights - MD comes in Monday morn, all docs and nurses are sitting around for report. He tells me daughter is prego and getting married. Daughter used to be a friend of mine, not anymore; so I say loudly enough for everyone to hear"is the baby his (fiances)?", just knowing that daughter is, can we say promiscuous. He turns red and says "Dear, Ijust hope so." Icould have about stuck my foot in my mouth right then and there!!!:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
:rotfl: I bet.
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Specializes in Oncology/Chemotherapy.

Thanks for all the laughs! I needed it after a tough day

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