sb22

Martha Stewart had a hilarious April Fools show. I just happened to be flipping through the channels and she was lying on the floor so I had to watch. She tricked me by talking about these giant pears and then she glittered a chair. It was so funny my diet pepsi came out of my nose. I have to admit for everything people have said about her, she can laugh at herself really well.

This is one got from someone on this board a long time ago. "Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff."

I work in a n ofice with 4 male MD's and a male practice administrator. They have their own bathroom. A couple of us put saran wrap on their toilet. Well...the admin figured it out and acted very mad. He made us stop our lunch to go clean up "his mess". Turned out to be Mountain Dew and a Baby Ruth candy bar. You can't imagine the looks on our faces as we each realized that the pranksters had been pranked.

Gross! :imbar

I work in an ENT office where we see a lot of neck masses that require surgery and reconstruction. One of our doctor's tells about a man who had surgery with a trache and some reconstruction. He used part of the pectoral muscle. Two funny things: The patient came in for his 3 month check and had grown 1 hair in his throat that apparently tickled. The patient had tattooed under each man boob "HOT" and "COLD". The doc had to cut the "C" off the cold for the harvest site. So he was really upset with the doc that he now had "HOT and "OLD". Of course all of the nurses agreed that it's not a bad thing to be hot and old.

Took me a minute to figure out what you were talking about. I thought that was against the law!

I just have to comment so this gets back to the top. My husband actually did #1 --he said people got up and came to his cubical to see if he was on the phone!

My husband is a youth pastor and one day he was doing a lesson from Genesis where it talks about Adam and Eve were embarrassed about being naked and sewed fig leaves together to make clothing. One of the boys in the group was reading the verse aloud and said, "They were naked so they s@rewed". He lost the lesson at that point, but learned a valuable lesson himself on having people read aloud.

OH MAN!! I love it!

What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that little thing?

"Sausage Girl" for a med records person who wears her clothes way too tight. One day she was wearing a tight pink blouse and she looked like a vienna sausage.

I get these kinds of responses all the time. A lady told me today that she was allergic to ibuprofen b/c she had had a gastric bypass.

Turkey Talk A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey. "But I just haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a week, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bull crap might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Turkey Talk A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey. "But I just haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a week, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bull crap might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Background info: We have three wonderful foster kids who are hispanic. They spoke primarily spanish when they came to live with us (I spoke no spanish but was making an effort to learn). Situation: I was working in the kitchen one afternoon and a little "air biscuit" popped out. I said, "Escuche!" thinking that it meant "excuse me" instead it means "Listen up!" The kids started dying laughing and my husband, between gasps for air explained to me what I had actually said. Three years later I am trying to live this down.