Funny things patients say

[NursesRmofun]

The other day, I had someone say,..."That's my ****, referring to a spot on the floor dark in color. LOL!

I am sure you all have tons of them!

[sevensonnets]

We had a 90+ year old lady who had been on the vent for some time (long story). For days after she was extubated she would not open her eyes, speak or follow commands, but hey, you have to keep trying, right? One morning I walked in to do my neuro checks and I said, Mrs. H, do you know what today is? She goes I hope it's not my da** birthday again!!