One night in the icu, I needed help to turn a patient who was on a vent, and sedated with a versed drip. I had asked a nurse to come into the room, and she followed. We went to both sides of the patient and proceeded to grab the lift sheet when she said........"Wait just a minute, I have to FART!". She then proceeded to back up from the bed, turn around, lift up a leg, and farted as loud as can be. She then returned to the bed grinning to herself and helped me lift the patient.
I couldn't wait to get out of the room. I about died laughing inside. I couldn't wait to "put on a play" for the nurses in the nurses break room and replay that moment for them. They were laughing so hard. We still laugh to this day!
I'm a student nurse in my last year. In one of my clinical rotations, one of the charge nurses told me a story that she had a patient that was going "down the tubes" and that she had an over eager student who wouldn't leave her alone. She then proceeded to tell the student to go get a kneck blood pressure cuff........the student, with instructor also in the room, went to find the kneck bp cuff........pretty funny I thought.......
A student nurse in the second year ? What the heck in kneck? Do you mean neck?
Some years back, our hospital put a microwave oven in the staff lounge. Because of fire regulations, we were not allowed to put a home style one in, but had to install an industrial strength one. A nurse that had never used it before decided that she could bake a potato for dinner, and set the timer to 20 minutes, thinking that that was about half the time it takes in a regular oven. She was resting her eyes when the smoke alarm went off, and six responders from various areas arrived with hand held fire extinguishers. Not being able to see through the smoke, they unloaded their foam on the outside of the oven, which continued to pour smoke into the room, and down the hall. When someone noticed that the numbers were still counting down and opened the door, there was one extinguisher that was not exausted, so a small amount of foam was squirted into the oven. When the smoke cleared, there was a lump of charcoal about the size of a neonate's fist. Our inservice nurse had it mounted on a plaque "Dedicated to the Concept of There Being No Stupid Questions."
I was discussing a new ruptured appy patient's diet orders with the aide this morning, and I guess I accidentally referred to the surgeon as "Dr. Potty" instead of Dr. Petty. :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Everyone nearby got a good laugh!
Oh, yeah, a few days ago a day shift aide was checking vitals in a room with two pleasantly confused LOLs in their 70's. She was telling bed 2 about her "heartbeat", and bed 1, who is HOH, jumped up and said "Herpes, Now I got Herpes? I ain't had a boyfriend in 3 years and now I got herpes???" :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle
I was working in an out patient free clinic and this teeny bopper who was about 5 months along with twins and a nasty crack habit showed up because she had not felt the fetus (s) move in a day or so. The MD (who was a pretty funny guy) did an ultrasound and motioned for me to come over to the monitor to have a look. This was right about the time that Bruce Willis movie, The Sixth Sense had come out. So he gestures at the monitor and whispers "I see dead people" indicating fetal demise. Turns out this little girl had been on quite a binge and may have actually poisened the fetus but it struck me as a funny comment, otherwise I think we would have both happily given her a verbal "whatfor".
I think that was completely vile on behalf of the doctor, and you for thinking it was funny. Those "dead peope" are babies, not a punch line in a current psychological thriller. I'm not one of those super serious people , either, it takes alot to disturb me, so dont post back and tell me to "lighten up":stone
Crack head or not, I hope to god that girl didnt hear you.
I think that was completely vile on behalf of the doctor, and you for thinking it was funny. Those "dead peope" are babies, not a punch line in a current psychological thriller. I'm not one of those super serious people , either, it takes alot to disturb me, so dont post back and tell me to "lighten up":stone
Crack head or not, I hope to god that girl didnt hear you.
Considering the doc apparently "whispered" this, it appears he was aware she might hear him and he was taking steps to prevent this.
It's dark humor. I say it is far better than sitting in a fetal position, drooling in a corner due to stress.
I thought of another one on me. I was about 18 years old and in a CNA I class. This was my first experience in the medical field at all aside from knowing that I wanted to be a nurse one day. I was assigned to do clinicals at a local nursing home. My patient that I was assigned to ate a very good dinner and then had to go to his room to go have a BM.....well, picture this I am trying to get him to the BR as quickly as possible and assist him with his pants and his diaper. The poop was already coming out and yes I dropped it on the floor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so embarrassed!!!!!!!!!!! I could not believe that this had happened to me..... poop balls in a little trail.....:) This was my first assignment..............I have never told anyone about this until now.
Oh! don't feel bad, I worked in a nursing home once that was filthy and there was always poop balls on the floor! No matter how tightly you wrapped those depends before tossing them in the garbage, a little bugger would manage to roll out. S--t happens! Too understaffed to take the extra time to pick up properly.
Also in another place I worked where there was some pretty crazy nurses... a subacute rehab nursing facility. We had a bladder scanner that was always on the fritz. We had to bladder scan a man to determine post-void residuals as he was having troubles urinating on own after his foley was taken out . First scan we'd get 150 cc pvr, then 350, then 75, then 500, etc. all in the course of 5 minutes. This poor guy didn't want to be cathed of course. My partner nurse came in the room and said "I have to pee, let's see what mine is" She whips her scrubs down to her pubes, puts a little ultrasound gel on her abdomen and proceeds to scan herself. She gets a reading of about 500 cc, goes to pee, comes back and scans herself again right in front of this guy and get 35 cc. "see, it works" she said.
The resident, one of the male NA's and myself were at the bedside of a woman,DNR, that had obviously passed away... just standing there looking... the NA turned to the resident, who was there to do the pronouncement, and said "Do you think I should have used foreplay?"
This same poor woman had needed to be suctioned earlier that tour (really on the way out), the LPN suctioned her and reported that she didn't like doing that because she was afraid the woman would die just then and there while being suctioned... I let the resident know her thoughts and when we went back to the nurse's station, he sat down hard on one of the chairs and exasperatedly said "All I want to know is WHO was the last person to suction that woman?"... The LPN looked like she was going to be the next to go...
This same poor woman had needed to be suctioned earlier that tour (really on the way out), the LPN suctioned her and reported that she didn't like doing that because she was afraid the woman would die just then and there while being suctioned... I let the resident know her thoughts and when we went back to the nurse's station, he sat down hard on one of the chairs and exasperatedly said "All I want to know is WHO was the last person to suction that woman?"... The LPN looked like she was going to be the next to go...
Tonight I am soooo ill with the flu, I feel like crap. All I can think about is how horrible I feel. I LOL in real time over this. Thank you SO much for the laugh. I needed it! I really needed it~
Elderly, confused pt w/ PEG tube. Had been on continuous Glucerna, then changed to bolus feeds. Had stopped the continuous feeds at 10am. Did noon meds, and of course, flushed the tube at that time. No problem flushing, no residual either. First bolus was due at 2pm. No residual. So of course, before starting feeds,i went to flush the tube. Wouldn't flush. I tried a few times. Hmm.... freaking out here, because I just flushed it 2 hours ago, it wouldn't now be clogged, would it??
Decided to try the coca-cola trick to unclog it. Held the tube up, syringe attached, and poured in coke, letting it go in by gravity. But it didn't go.
So I put on the plunger and pushed.
The coke splashed all over the patient. None on me, though. It was a pool of coke on her!
I figured it out though. The tube was clamped. No wonder it wouldn't flush :)
picture this.a 80 pound little ole grandma confused and in wrist restrants in bed when the cna comes in to give her a bath. "hello sweetie I am here to give you a bath." as the cna bends over to remove her gown the old woman grabs her around the neck with her legs in a head lock and flips the cna in bed with her. the cna is screaming for help and can not extract herself from betwen the womans legs. after several weeks of p.t. the cna is now doing fine and back to work. one of the nurses told the cna that the same patient had gotten hold of her...the patient was then in tb isolation and had grabbed the nurses tb mask and before she could get her to release it bamm right between the eyes.
As a new RN in the hospital, I was helping an (I thought) experienced LPN change an elderly gentleman who had used the bedpan and had a little leakage. Upon finishing, she carried the bedpan and I carried the linens into the dirty utility room. While she was placing the bedpan into the hopper (still containing a very sticky stool), I put the dirty laundry in the hamper. I heard the hopper start up, (it would spray hot water into the pan at the beginning of the cycle), and turned around to say something. I saw her putting her foot back on the foot pedal, and bending down to retie her shoe!!! Before I could get the words out, the hopper flew open, showering her in hot steamy water and stool. Back then, we all wore white uniforms, and there was not a spot on her that was not covered. I was laughing so hard I was crying, and I couldn't even walk over to help her. To this day, if I try to tell this story out loud, I laugh to the point I can't even talk. Obviously, this was years before Blood and Body Fluid Precautions!
:rotfl: :imbar
sanctuary, BSN, MSN, RN
467 Posts
A student nurse in the second year ? What the heck in kneck? Do you mean neck?