One night in the icu, I needed help to turn a patient who was on a vent, and sedated with a versed drip. I had asked a nurse to come into the room, and she followed. We went to both sides of the patient and proceeded to grab the lift sheet when she said........"Wait just a minute, I have to FART!". She then proceeded to back up from the bed, turn around, lift up a leg, and farted as loud as can be. She then returned to the bed grinning to herself and helped me lift the patient.
I couldn't wait to get out of the room. I about died laughing inside. I couldn't wait to "put on a play" for the nurses in the nurses break room and replay that moment for them. They were laughing so hard. We still laugh to this day!
These are absolutely hysterical. I must share this one. When I was in nursing school, one of the other nursing students comes out of the pt room and asks me to help her. It seems that she can't get her IV to run. I go into the pt room. While the nursing student is fiddling with the IV, I look at the patient and he is OBVIOUSLY dead. I say "Hey I don't think your patient is with us." As it turns out she had been trying to hang a new IV bag on a DEAD guy for 1/2 an hour before she came to get me!!
From that moment on the inside joke between the nursing instructor and me was:
Question: What's the first thing you check when you hang an IV Bag?
Answer: Is your patient dead? :)
She was the best nursing instructor I ever had. She had the best sense of humor.:)
I had an "abd pain" come in on the end of my shift. The triage nurse handed me the chart and said she is 15 weeks pg.
I walked in and saw an OBVIOUSLY pg woman holding her VERY protruding abd...She said the pain was low and made her feel like she needed to have a BM. I was working with an orientee who was determined to ask her about the color of her poop and the frequency of her pooping! I really really thought that this lady was in labor! I grabbed the nearest doc who took one look and said "quit farting around and get her upstairs" So we fly this poor lady up to OB (the wrong way---we took the main elevators on accident) It must have been a sight to behold... 4 of us around a bed running to OB. The poor lady is in the bed crying saying "I'm not in labor, I'm only 15 weeks"
We get her safely upstairs and the OB doc takes one look at her very prego belly...She gets her on the monitor herself and runs the ultrasound machine in the room...The baby is the size of a peanut...the lady really is only 15 weeks pg. This is like her 6th pg and she is just "rounder" than your typical 15 weeker...and the diagnoses? constipation...
These are absolutely hysterical. I must share this one. When I was in nursing school, one of the other nursing students comes out of the pt room and asks me to help her. It seems that she can't get her IV to run. I go into the pt room. While the nursing student is fiddling with the IV, I look at the patient and he is OBVIOUSLY dead. I say "Hey I don't think your patient is with us." As it turns out she had been trying to hang a new IV bag on a DEAD guy for 1/2 an hour before she came to get me!!
From that moment on the inside joke between the nursing instructor and me was:
Question: What's the first thing you check when you hang an IV Bag?
Answer: Is your patient dead? :)
She was the best nursing instructor I ever had. She had the best sense of humor.:)
We just started a new hand hygiene campaign and have cute pictures of animals with saying such as "Don't forget to wash your paws". Well....... got a call from Urology to come look at their hand hygiene poster........ it was a picture of a squirrel that said wash between each nut!:rotfl:
It's not something a nurse did, it's kind of "Nurses say the darnedest things"-I recently had a nurse tell a pt's family that their 90 year old matriarch was "like an old car, and you won't get many more miles out of her" Needless to say this nurse came in the next AM wondering why her pt. assignment was changed.
Think I've told this before...It happened to me. I was a nervous student and upon the physician's request I "examined" the inside of the patient's nose with the otoscope. Afterwards, I went to put the scope back in the cradle and realized the disposable sheath was missing. I couldn't find it on the floor, I turned to see the patient sitting patiently on the exam table with the black plastic cone hanging out of their nose.:imbar I quickly snatched it out of their nose before the doc noticed.
During the second semester of nursing school, 2 of my friends were assigned to an unconscious patient. I heard a strange noise coming from the room and smelled something very offensive.
Being the helpful person that I am, I walked into the room to see what was going on. The girls were giggling quietly and one of the girls pointed to the patient.
Of course, it wasn't the patient that farted...it was one of the girls.
I was working in an out patient free clinic and this teeny bopper who was about 5 months along with twins and a nasty crack habit showed up because she had not felt the fetus (s) move in a day or so. The MD (who was a pretty funny guy) did an ultrasound and motioned for me to come over to the monitor to have a look. This was right about the time that Bruce Willis movie, The Sixth Sense had come out. So he gestures at the monitor and whispers "I see dead people" indicating fetal demise. Turns out this little girl had been on quite a binge and may have actually poisened the fetus but it struck me as a funny comment, otherwise I think we would have both happily given her a verbal "whatfor".
I'm a student nurse in my last year. In one of my clinical rotations, one of the charge nurses told me a story that she had a patient that was going "down the tubes" and that she had an over eager student who wouldn't leave her alone. She then proceeded to tell the student to go get a kneck blood pressure cuff........the student, with instructor also in the room, went to find the kneck bp cuff........pretty funny I thought.......
Think I've told this before...It happened to me. I was a nervous student and upon the physician's request I "examined" the inside of the patient's nose with the otoscope. Afterwards, I went to put the scope back in the cradle and realized the disposable sheath was missing. I couldn't find it on the floor, I turned to see the patient sitting patiently on the exam table with the black plastic cone hanging out of their nose.:imbar I quickly snatched it out of their nose before the doc noticed.
OMG! ditto with the plastic sheath that covers the thermometer probe in the axilla......
My nursing school class were doing clinical rotations at a local hospital....I was paired with my best friend. We were taking care of this lady, and she told me to empty her foley. I did, and didn't clamp it correctly. I ended up with urine all over my white stockings. (yes, we wore dresses and pantyhose back in those days...not so long ago either) I proceeded to take off my shoes and hose frantically, as I was disgusted with someone elses urine on me. I cleaned my legs, and while I was, my friend decided to "dry" my hose, not with a towel, but in the microwave. They caught on fire, and luckily she put it out quickly. You could smell the scent of smolder throughout the nurses station, and rooms. When our instructor asked what happened, she told her the entire story.....the instructor, instead of being angry, was laughing hysterically!!!!!!!!!!!! At graduation, my friend got the award of "class clown", bringing laughter to everyone. It was FUNNY......
The best part was when after she told everyone, I walked out with my dress, and shoes on, without hose, everyone laughed hysterically all over again...............
Some years back, our hospital put a microwave oven in the staff lounge. Because of fire regulations, we were not allowed to put a home style one in, but had to install an industrial strength one. A nurse that had never used it before decided that she could bake a potato for dinner, and set the timer to 20 minutes, thinking that that was about half the time it takes in a regular oven. She was resting her eyes when the smoke alarm went off, and six responders from various areas arrived with hand held fire extinguishers. Not being able to see through the smoke, they unloaded their foam on the outside of the oven, which continued to pour smoke into the room, and down the hall. When someone noticed that the numbers were still counting down and opened the door, there was one extinguisher that was not exausted, so a small amount of foam was squirted into the oven. When the smoke cleared, there was a lump of charcoal about the size of a neonate's fist. Our inservice nurse had it mounted on a plaque "Dedicated to the Concept of There Being No Stupid Questions."
:rotfl: :imbar
nicunurse1208
7 Posts
These are absolutely hysterical. I must share this one. When I was in nursing school, one of the other nursing students comes out of the pt room and asks me to help her. It seems that she can't get her IV to run. I go into the pt room. While the nursing student is fiddling with the IV, I look at the patient and he is OBVIOUSLY dead. I say "Hey I don't think your patient is with us." As it turns out she had been trying to hang a new IV bag on a DEAD guy for 1/2 an hour before she came to get me!!
From that moment on the inside joke between the nursing instructor and me was:
Question: What's the first thing you check when you hang an IV Bag?
Answer: Is your patient dead? :)
She was the best nursing instructor I ever had. She had the best sense of humor.:)