Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

Code Brown RN · Apr 4, 2011

as a recent patient, i was horrified to see how little is done for the patients, that used to be routine care. backrubs help a patient relax before bedtime, promote sleep/rest and decrease pain. it's also a wonderful time to talk (remember that) to your patients. the only times i ever saw a licensed person was when they did an assessment each shift (some of these were pretty pathetic) and when meds were given. the pca (aides) did everything else and, even then, i had to ask for my bed to be changed and for towels to wash up with. no offered to wash my back, leave alone rub it. i guess my only issue with this statement is that it shouldn't really matter who is bringing you what, or who is rubbing your back, so long as it is getting done. applying lotion doesn't require a bsn, does it?
"back in the day" we (nurses) would pass fresh ice water and a clean towel/wash cloth to all patients after visitors left on evening shift. oh i wish we had "visiting hours" so we could do that! visitors never leave... i try to wait until family and friends filter out before offering cares, but hey, i've got a job to do and its 2230. that is a big issue at my hospital... but we love our "family centered care!" backrubs were offered to all and accepted by most patients. patients used these towels/wash cloths to freshen up before bed or for first thing in the am, before regular linen was passed.
how did we have the time? we just did. we did not have computers to help us chart (everything done by hand), computers fail and make things harder. again i wish wish wish we had paper charts.... our transition to computer charting made everything take sooo much longer. even after we are all "used to it" several years later, its still a very lengthy process. think of it this way... which is quicker, leaving a post it note for your husband to pick up milk or sending him an email to do it? med doses were often not individual doses....we actually had to pour pills out of bottles i imagine these were not bar code scanned, requiring a battery that actually worked, a blu tooth device that would actually sync, a name band that would actually scan, a barcode that actually would read and an electronic mar that would actually pick it up? and you didn't have to spend 15 minutes waiting to get into the fingerprint encoded pyxis just to find out that its not functioning properly and that phamacy never got the email that we are out of lortab so they need to send us some up in the tube system that seems to be jammed today? it can take a good 20 minutes to get a tylenol to a patient, even if everything is going correctly., and we checked on our patients at least three times per shift, in person. it seems like today's nurses are losing the "art" of nursing. with everything computerized and simplified, nurses should have even more time to spend with direct patient care and tending to the "little" things that mean so much! agreed. sad. very sad. makes me wonder how much longer i'll be at the bedside.
when i was doing home health, a few years ago, i actually had a patient start to cry when i asked if i could sit on the chair in her room. upon further investigation, she told me that none of the other nurses had ever bothered to sit down with her. "they're always in such a rush," she said.
ladies and gentlemen....slow down and give your patients the time and attention they deserve. it will change your life when you actually talk to them!! truer words have never been spoken. its very sad that we are being asked to do so much more with so much less all the time. i often wish i was a cna again so that i had the opportunity to sit and feed my patients or give them their baths. we are all being stretched 10 ways from sunday, and its the patient's that suffer. i wish your words were falling on the right ears. i think another issue is the lawsuit happy culture we are living in.... we have to chart chart chart chart chart chart chart! my fellow rns and i often complain that we are forced to spend more time taking care of the computer and chart than the patients. more and more policies and flowsheets are beings added and none are being taken away.
ok, bring on the rebuttals!

it sounds like you were at a sub par facility, because your complaints are not unfounded at all. i'm sorry your experience was so negative. all those things mentioned are standards of care at my facility. we do hourly rounding, backrubs and fill waters 2x/shift, even if somebody is on a fluid restriction- we replace. anyway, sorry to be a killjoy on an otherwise hilarious thread... just wanted to add my :twocents:

back to the funnies!!

other comments above in red

mama_d, BSN, RN · Apr 4, 2011

Had a non-compliant diabetic come in and get admitted for BLE wounds. He was trying to treat them at home by bathing them in alcohol...rubbing alcohol when he had it, liquor when he didn't. Needless to say, he was a mess...tendons exposed on both feet. Doc wrote order for surgery consult b/c "wounds are not cooperating with home treatment". As if they had a mind of their own.

Our order set from the ED for rule out MI includes urine pregnancy tests and assessing pts for use of erectile dysfunction meds. Which is fine, if the doc pays attention to which little boxes he's clicking...but always cracks me up when I get a 90 year old LOL who has orders for both!

Favorite d/c orders..."Stop shooting up" and "Take phone book and find another neurologist for follow up".

redddy · Apr 4, 2011

We keep beer stocked in the locked fridge to prevent DTs.

Lpndementia · Apr 4, 2011

Tylenol suppository. 650 mg q 4-6 hrs PO PRN for pain/temp >101.

JRN26 · Apr 4, 2011

On elderly female patient's transfer orders to care facility "Patient may go to the craft store". Cracked me up! :nurse:

msjellybean · Apr 4, 2011

Had a pt several months back with hx of HTN, poorly controlled. Her doc has a habit of not restarting his pt's BP beds when they are in-pt. Well, one night, her BP is high and continues to stay that way after about 6 hours of interventions. At 6am VS time, her pressure is something like 210/120. Doc refuses to do anything about it, so a rapid response is called. Hospitalist comes & sorts everything out.

Later that night, I get a call from the tele tech informing me that she's suddenly jumped up to sinus tach the 130s, after being NSR in the 60s-70s all night. Call the doc and his intervention is, "set the alarm to 160 and leave her alone & let her sleep."

Because the fact that she was sound asleep when her heart rate doubled was somehow related to something I had done to her. About an hour later, she converted into afib.

pca_85 · Apr 4, 2011

eeeeeewwww! phew! mine aren't long enough...

i graduate in august-small hands and all-whew! guess i'm safe! :nurse:

LionessRN1 · Apr 5, 2011

Attending Dr ordered "Massage Scrotum with warm olive oil BID" for a patient with edema in his genitals...saw that twice.

Also saw "Elevate scrotum on a towel" many, many times. Really??? Ever try to actually do that? Not comfortable for anyone involved!

JDZ344 · Apr 5, 2011

we had a Doctor request us to check a patients oxygen saturation after ambulating. Which was a reasonable request, if you ignored the fact that the patient was a bi-lateral BKA. We had a lot of fun with that one!

annister · Apr 6, 2011

ultrasound lle. r/o dvd

I had one similar to this:

"U/S DVT to r/o LLE"

I'm no doc, but I don't need an US to r/o LLE. And if a LLE is ruled out, so is a LLE DVT...

hayjd9598 · Apr 7, 2011

I received a doctor order that read "Chest x-ray, PA/Lat--or whatever"

carolmaccas66, BSN, RN · Apr 12, 2011

Attending Dr ordered "Massage Scrotum with warm olive oil BID" for a patient with edema in his genitals...saw that twice.
Also saw "Elevate scrotum on a towel" many, many times. Really??? Ever try to actually do that? Not comfortable for anyone involved!

I would refuse to massage anyone's scrotum as a female nurse. I don't think things like this are appropriate at all.

Let the doctors do it if they want it done.