Frustrated....

seasoned hopeful · Jul 14, 2008

Let me see if I have this staight? You have 2 boys, (full time job) a full time job (a full time job) and filling in for your husband and taking care of the house, bills, shopping, etc (another full time job) NO WONDER YOU ARE FRUSTRATED !!! You are also going to school full time in the summer when the classes are condensed. Give yourself a break....... Bless your heart. also one thing I discovered about children, if they feel they are not getting their attention they will really act up. Thus, probably when they are surposed to be in bed so you can study, they do not want to.....YOU HAVE YOUR HANDS FULL, like 4 full time jobs. Bless your heart:bow:

MisterSimba, BSN · Jul 14, 2008

It sounds like you're doing the very best you can! I'm 26 and the thought of being married and having kids practically gives me panic attacks! It sounds like you're handling things very well: your husband is away, you're taking care of two young kids by yourself, working full time, and taking 12 units in the summer!!! You must be superwoman!!! :nuke:

Do you have any friends or family nearby that could take your kids for a few hours so you could get some more time to study.....or even relax for a few hours?

Nope, you are most definitely not a failure!!!

CracklinRose · Jul 14, 2008

Most certainly do not consider yourself a failure....what kind of talk is that? You have a full plate and may have taken on a little more than you anticipated for a fw wks but you are not a failure.

First off, I commend your Husband and Thank him for me. I sit here tonight unable to sleep because my Son(Marine) leaves in the morning to fly back to base for his first deployment to Iraq. That alone can frazzle a Wife and a "Mom".

Take a moment and listen to an Older Mom, children are very good at picking up on our moods and that's when they act up. Undoubtly, you are tired and anxious from ALL you are doing. I suggest a night off from work,homework,housework,etc......take a blanket and pillows and camp out on the floor w/your kids while you watch a movie. Relax for a night. I'm sure they will cry and give you a hard time again the next night but at least "YOU" will be a little more rested to deal w/them.

Another good rule of thumb....make sure you have spent the quality time they need for the day, they have eaten,gone to the restroom and gotten in that last drink for the night. Put them to bed and let them cry, check on them every few minutes but allow them to go ahead and cry it out. As long as there is nothing to harm them, they will be fine. Eventually they will come to realize that everything is ok too. Maybe a small nightlight might do the trick. Try to follow the same regimine for as long as you can, same time to eat and to bed.....it will become a habit/routine for them. The biggest thing to remember though is that if you are not taking care of yourself, you cannot satisfactorly take care of them. You need one or two nights a week to just be you w/out everything else...I would also suggest cutting back somewhere as soon as you are able or you will be even more overwhelmed.

allnurses Guide · Jul 14, 2008

Working full time and going to school full time is not recommended even for those who are straight out of high school and have no kids darlin'. You might want to consider cutting back on the school schedule until your hubbie gets home. That sounds like just plain too much to juggle and still be an effective parent and still be taking good care of yourself. :hug:

dee78 · Jul 14, 2008

You are not a failure, you are just doing too much. I am in a similar yet less stressful situation, I have 3 children (2 are at my parents for the summer) and my hubby is a truck driver (gone through the week). I work fulltime and take online classes as well. I am taking A&P1 and Statistics this summer and it has kicked my butt. I can't seem to put in enough time for each class. I can't imagine taking on 2 more classes.

I'm assuming you have a scholarship and have to take a full load. If not, then I wouldn't take a full load next semester. You can't cut out the kids, I assume you can't quit your job, and you can't do anything about your hubby being gone sooooo the only adjustment that you can make is to your school schedule.

Good luck. Just know that this semester is almost over, just a few more weeks and you'll get to rest. That's what is getting me through it.

karen230 · Jul 14, 2008

I just need to vent a little bit. I'm 25 yo with 2 boys age 2 and 1. My hubby is in the Navy and currently in Iraq. I'm taking 12 credits online for this summer and I work full time. I had been doing really well. I was studying and getting my school work done while getting my kid time in. But lately I am losing focus. I am having a hard time getting them to bed. Then they scream for hours. Then I stay up well after 1 am and still have to get up at 5:30. I feel like I am losing my mind!! How does everyone else deal with this? I feel like I'm a failure!!

Wow, I got tired just reading your post. You really do have a full plate in front of you. It may be time for you to slow down just a bit. You said you are having a hard time focusing and keeping late hours. Your body is getting tired of all that it is doing and needs a break. You said you work full-time, who takes care of the kids while you are at work?

This is what I do when I need a ME day. DH goes to work, I take the day off from work, and the kids go to daycare. So it is just me and the dog home (and he makes me feel like I'm in HIS way). I spend my day doing NOTHING, no housework, no laundry, no nothing. I watch tv, take a nap, maybe take a walk or go shopping but that is about as active as I get. It really is wonderful to have a ME day and by the time my ME is over, I am ready for DH and kids to come home. Try one, you may like it.

Trauma Columnist · Jul 14, 2008

Agree with others: you have too much on your plate. I am an Air Force wife and have been thru several deployments (up to a year) and that is very stressful. You have to cut back on something.

megn2boys · Jul 14, 2008

Thanks everyone for being encouraging. My hubby comes home "sometime" in the next 2 months and will be home for a while after that. I can't afford to quit work, but my job isn't all that secure and with the economy the way it is, I have to get my prereqs done so that I can start the Jan 09 program. My boys go to a home daycare during the day. I try to spend from 5 to about 8:30 with them. We play and play and of course eat and bathe and then bedtime at 8:30. I think ya'll are right I just need some down time. I think I will take the night and have a movie night and then take the next day off. I feel a cough coming on right now! :) AAGGGHHH....Ok...now I feel SO much better! Really thanks everyone. It's good to know other people are stressed. And I'm not alone!