Friends don't understand ?

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I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this post but it doesn't really fit anywhere else. lol.

I had my first experience today with a friend just not understanding what it's like to be in school and how important it is to me.

Since this weekend is Memorial Day, we had a weekend trip planned for weeks now. My first AP1 test was supposed to be today...perfect timing so I could be care-free this weekend. Well, monday night the professor told us he's changing the test to next Wed...after Memorial Day weekend. So I told my friend that I probably won't be able to go this weekend because I'm going to use these extra days to study. Before the test was moved I was stressing about not having enough time to study so now that it's been moved back a whole week I just cant justify going out of town when I could be taking advantage of that extra time. She suggested that I bring my work with me and I could study by the pool, etc but I know myself and that just wouldn't happen.

She just doesn't understand how I would need all this time to study. She told me that I'm "stressing way too much over this test" and I should "stop being gay and just come.." She has no idea how one test can be so important...I need as many points for nursing school as I can get so my goal is to ACE every test.

She is my best friend and we've always been on the same page about everything so for her to be this way really has me hurt.

Anyway....just wanted to share. Anyone else had things like this happen before?

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Don't worry about what your friend thinks. You do what you know is right. You might find more friends, and even family, with the same attitudes. I can assure you that every time I took books with me with intentions to study, guess what happened? Yes, you are right. Stay home and study. You will congratulate yourself come Wednesday. And good luck on that exam.

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Yes. It hurts but the friendship ended up better/stronger because of it. That doesn't always happen, but patience and understanding from either of you will help.

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Don't worry about what your friend thinks. You do what you know is right. You might find more friends, and even family, with the same attitudes. I can assure you that every time I took books with me with intentions to study, guess what happened? Yes, you are right. Stay home and study. You will congratulate yourself come Wednesday. And good luck on that exam.

Thank you! This is exactly what I needed to hear!!

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"stop being gay and just come.."

I might also look for a friend that does not use sexual orientation as an insult... :twocents:

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You are doing the right thing. Typically, first exams are the easiest so you want to get as many points as possible to make up for when things get much tougher. I took physiology and microbiology at the same time. When it came time for finals, I had the micro final on Monday and I had the physiology final on a Wed. I was consumed with Micro over the weekend prior, so I did not start studying for the physio final until Monday evening. Talk about STRESS. Tuesday night I studied until my eyes felt like they were going to bleed. I finally forced myself to go to bed at midnight but at 3am when I still couldn't sleep (because I was stressing about not getting an A in the class) I got up and studied some more. I took the test in a state of delerious, almost hysterical, emotions. I was crying, I felt like throwing up, it was horrible. When the scores were posted I knew what I needed to get an A in the class, so when I saw my score my heart almost dropped into my stomach... I made the A with THREE POINTS TO SPARE. Had I missed that one quiz, or didn't do that one 5pt extra credit, or gotten that one question wrong on quiz 2, etc., I would have recieved a B in the class. YES, you are doing the right thing... Tell your friend there will be other Memorial days.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, ICU, ED.

Just ignore your friend and study for your test. During your schooling, you will encounter A LOT of events you will have to miss and people who are negative and unsupportive. My advice is it's okay to miss events and to surround yourself with positive and supportive people. Tune out the negativity and always stay focused your goal of becoming a nurse. Good luck!

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Specializes in Making people feel better.

I am ridiculous when it comes to studying--I can spend hours upon hours upon hours. Most of my friends are really big on the studies, and they always understand when I am unable to hang out with them due to a test, or just general reading that needs to get done....

But....my relationship was nearly broken off this past year due to my partner literally watching me read from the time I got home from class to the time I went to class. I had just transferred to a major university and really needed to come in strong with a solid GPA.

This past year I had to re-examine my life/school and create a small shift so that I could balance my study/non-study activities.... it is really hard to do, but if you practice this enough and be diligent with your reading you should be able to maintain your relationships while still achieving on your exams. If this is possible for you to do, then it could help keep a balance. If not, then just keep setting your boundaries, and accept that a few close people to you might get upset...after-all your friends, family and studies are all really important to you.

We all know that if you produce results in your studies, that most likely you will have a more fruitful future career bla bla bla .... all so true!!

I do agree that your studies are important, but perhaps becoming disciplined enough to compromise and sit near the pool and study isn't the worst idea....as long as you really study and study and study. And as long as it's understood that you are N.O.T. to be disturbed while doing so, or heads will roll :)

Anyhow, just my opinion........ In any case, have a peaceful and enjoyable long-weekend, even if you stay home--- enjoy!!! (ps...API and II ...so much flippin reading...I get it! :))

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Specializes in Making people feel better.

Oh Yea...and really...I agree with Grownuprosie.. who really uses the phrase "stop being gay".. seriously-- I am a gay male..truly offensive. (like telling someone to stop being Asian!).. very offensive buddy you have. I'm just sayin.

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Oh Yea...and really...I agree with Grownuprosie.. who really uses the phrase "stop being gay".. seriously-- I am a gay male..truly offensive. (like telling someone to stop being Asian!).. very offensive buddy you have. I'm just sayin.

I apologize for offending you...I shouldn't have mentioned that in the post! Im so sorry!!

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Specializes in Making people feel better.

It's fine... it's your friend who shouldn't use the word gay to describe what she's sees as negative behavior...

I'm not upset with you...I just get offended by the use of that word as derogatory... It's all good and appreciate your apology!

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I am a returning student and I have struggled with the same type of situation. I am 25 years old and all of my friends who I graduated college with (the first time I went) are all starting their careers and seem to have ample amounts of free time while I have been slaving away for the past year & a half taking (and retaking things that did not transfer- annoying) my pre-reqs for nursing school. It is so frustrating that they don't understand the time and commitment it takes, but eventually I just realized that I need to do what I need to do to reach my goals and take school seriously.

Through the course of your time in school, you will make friends who understand the importance of putting work first. A lot of people don't realize how competitive and difficult it is to work towards getting your nursing degree, so screw them and put yourself first sometimes. You can hang out with them next weekend. Learn your A&P, it's essential!!! It will be worth it.

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