I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this post but it doesn't really fit anywhere else. lol.
I had my first experience today with a friend just not understanding what it's like to be in school and how important it is to me.
Since this weekend is Memorial Day, we had a weekend trip planned for weeks now. My first AP1 test was supposed to be today...perfect timing so I could be care-free this weekend. Well, monday night the professor told us he's changing the test to next Wed...after Memorial Day weekend. So I told my friend that I probably won't be able to go this weekend because I'm going to use these extra days to study. Before the test was moved I was stressing about not having enough time to study so now that it's been moved back a whole week I just cant justify going out of town when I could be taking advantage of that extra time. She suggested that I bring my work with me and I could study by the pool, etc but I know myself and that just wouldn't happen.
She just doesn't understand how I would need all this time to study. She told me that I'm "stressing way too much over this test" and I should "stop being gay and just come.." She has no idea how one test can be so important...I need as many points for nursing school as I can get so my goal is to ACE every test.
She is my best friend and we've always been on the same page about everything so for her to be this way really has me hurt.
Anyway....just wanted to share. Anyone else had things like this happen before?
Is your friend in school/ has she been in school post high school? I find some people who have never taken school seriously (myself at one point) don't respect others who do. Talk to your friend about how serious you are about it, what you can do if she understands and wants to support you if maybe have days you hang out and she can help you study/ quiz you! That way you get the best of both worlds.
There are times when you can't completely consume yourself with studies as you have to keep your sanity, is there anyway to hang out one of the days this weekend instead of the whole weekend? Compromise on both ends is something that can benefit your friendship
The best thing you can do in these situations if apologize and tell her you are sorry for bailing on the plans (I know it can be frustrating when plans fall apart) and tell her you will make it up to her.
This past year I had to re-examine my life/school and create a small shift so that I could balance my study/non-study activities.... it is really hard to do, but if you practice this enough and be diligent with your reading you should be able to maintain your relationships while still achieving on your exams. If this is possible for you to do, then it could help keep a balance. If not, then just keep setting your boundaries, and accept that a few close people to you might get upset...after-all your friends, family and studies are all really important to you.
I completely agree with Future. Part of being a successful student is learning to find a balance between school and life. Once you master it, it will make things so much easier.
I don't believe in avoiding events just because I have to study. There were times that I couldn't go out but I tried to find a healthy medium.
Do you think you could go & just head up to your room earlier before bed time in order to allow yourself time to study alone? If I had things to do I would bring my books with me & just excuse myself earlier that night.
Ignore your friend. If she cant understand that school is so important to you then she doesn't need to be your friend. Real friends support their friends. She should respect the fact you need to study and you are working hard to get into nursing school.
I feel your pain and frustration. I do believe that at some point , and for some of us multiple times , this becomes an issue w/ friends and family. Just hang on and do what you feel you need to do in order to be successful....it gets incredibly difficult at times.
Is your friend in school/ has she been in school post high school? I find some people who have never taken school seriously (myself at one point) don't respect others who do. Talk to your friend about how serious you are about it, what you can do if she understands and wants to support you if maybe have days you hang out and she can help you study/ quiz you! That way you get the best of both worlds.
There are times when you can't completely consume yourself with studies as you have to keep your sanity, is there anyway to hang out one of the days this weekend instead of the whole weekend? Compromise on both ends is something that can benefit your friendship
The best thing you can do in these situations if apologize and tell her you are sorry for bailing on the plans (I know it can be frustrating when plans fall apart) and tell her you will make it up to her.
She never went on to any schooling after high school so she doesn't understand how I would need to study for 4 days straight for one test. And I agree that I can't always consume myself with studying and I even mentioned driving down to go to the theme park on Sunday but she said at this point 'dont bother' so...that settles it.
I know when I pass my test on Wednesday I will feel much better about all of this. Thanks to everyone for all the kind words of encouragement!
She never went on to any schooling after high school so she doesn't understand how I would need to study for 4 days straight for one test. And I agree that I can't always consume myself with studying and I even mentioned driving down to go to the theme park on Sunday but she said at this point 'dont bother' so...that settles it.
I know when I pass my test on Wednesday I will feel much better about all of this. Thanks to everyone for all the kind words of encouragement!
If that is the case I would think it comes down to her being threatened by your success. Growing up my best friend dropped out of high school and years after I found out she always put herself in competition with me (I never felt this way) she was never really supportive of school either. Good luck with your exam!
your friend sounds like not the most supportive friend, eh? whatever is important to you (that is healthy for you and helps you grow to be a better person) should be important to her because she loves you. sounds like she is putting her own desires (fun beach weekend) ahead of what is clearly better for you in the long run. she should re-evaluate the way she really feels about you, or you should re-evaluate your friendship with her. and i know it's already been mentioned, but the stop being gay thing? your friend sounds like a tool bag from what little we know of her.
you have found your passion, your calling. you know what is best for you, and you rock for having the discipline to view the upcoming weekend as a chance for extra study. that is a serious sign of maturity. that said, make sure you don't cut ALL fun out, because you can reach burn out pretty quickly that way. treat your self sometimes! maybe the two of you could spend a day at the pool or something this weekend as a compromise?
and ask your friend about how she wants to be treated by nurses and doctors...would she want a nurse that barely scraped through her classes because she wanted a beach weekend whenever she could get one? you owe it to not only yourself, but your future patients, to take this stuff as seriously as you possibly can (and it sounds like you're on the right track).
all that said, yes. i have had this experience. i have lost 2 very close friends (or people who i THOUGHT were close friends) because they got upset that i didn't have as much free time for them once i found my calling and realized how much work is required to become a good nurse. you are not alone, and i promise you that if this friend refuses to try to understand where you are in life, you can make some pretty awesome new friends in your newly chosen field. good luck!!
Is your friend in school/ has she been in school post high school? I find some people who have never taken school seriously (myself at one point) don't respect others who do. Talk to your friend about how serious you are about it, what you can do if she understands and wants to support you if maybe have days you hang out and she can help you study/ quiz you! That way you get the best of both worlds.
There are times when you can't completely consume yourself with studies as you have to keep your sanity, is there anyway to hang out one of the days this weekend instead of the whole weekend? Compromise on both ends is something that can benefit your friendship
The best thing you can do in these situations if apologize and tell her you are sorry for bailing on the plans (I know it can be frustrating when plans fall apart) and tell her you will make it up to her.
I totally agree with the bolded. I want to have fun this memorial day, but I too will be studying for my first A &P exam!!! I wish us both well!!!:redpinkhe
I enjoyed reading this thread because I feel the same way. Even when we tell people about the pressure to get A's because the competition is fierce, we tell them how hard the classes are and all the projects we have and the memorizing we do they just look at us with a blank, clueless half-smile or they say "Oh ya I remember going to school and working too I understand how hard it is. No, if you weren't competing against 100 other people to make the cut just to get into the program while working and juggling a family then NO, you don't understand.
Stay strong and focused. True friends will wait for you.
I enjoyed reading this thread because I feel the same way. Even when we tell people about the pressure to get A's because the competition is fierce, we tell them how hard the classes are and all the projects we have and the memorizing we do they just look at us with a blank, clueless half-smile or they say "Oh ya I remember going to school and working too I understand how hard it is. No, if you weren't competing against 100 other people to make the cut just to get into the program while working and juggling a family then NO, you don't understand.
Stay strong and focused. True friends will wait for you.
Exactly!! Thank you for posting this. She thinks it's "just a test" but its's SOOOOOO much more! Thanks for the support :)
BosRMT
97 Posts
Is your friend in school/ has she been in school post high school? I find some people who have never taken school seriously (myself at one point) don't respect others who do. Talk to your friend about how serious you are about it, what you can do if she understands and wants to support you if maybe have days you hang out and she can help you study/ quiz you! That way you get the best of both worlds.
There are times when you can't completely consume yourself with studies as you have to keep your sanity, is there anyway to hang out one of the days this weekend instead of the whole weekend? Compromise on both ends is something that can benefit your friendship
The best thing you can do in these situations if apologize and tell her you are sorry for bailing on the plans (I know it can be frustrating when plans fall apart) and tell her you will make it up to her.