Friends mad at me because I passed and they didn't?

texas2007, BSN, RN · Jan 6, 2008

They sound like they have sour grapes because you did better than they did. If these so called friends don't want to be friends with you because they can't handle your success or whatever reason, why should you waste your time and energy trying to be friends with them? It might be more worthwhile trying to make new friends at your new job. Good luck!

llg, PhD, RN · Jan 6, 2008

I agree. Let it go ... and let THEM go ... but be prepared to forgive them should they ever come to their senses and want to re-establish your friendship. Sometimes, when people are devastated by something, they do or say things that they regret later. Their pain causes behavior that they would not normally do. Be prepared to be generous and foregiving, but they are going to have to want to be your friend in spite of your success in order for your relationships with them to work. You can't force that. Move on.

Achoo!, LPN · Jan 6, 2008

Friends should be supportive no matter what. They may have a hard time dealing with their own failure, but that should not discount your success. Let them go, I agree.

rmfrier · Jan 6, 2008

Well, I had one finally reply to me via email and she said our ideas of friendship differ and that I thought I was better than them. Never once did I ever think or act that way. I did live my life very different than them, but never said anything to them about the way they lived vs. the way I live. It was like when I passed HESI and NCLEX, she was done with me. It sounds like there is a lot of resentment and I am hoping that when they both pass HESI and NCLEX that it will change. I am always willing to forgive and forget. I am a very forgiving person to my downfall. I am like "old faithful" or at least that is what some of my friends call me. Thanks for the encouragement and words. I guess we will wait and see what happens.

SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN · Jan 7, 2008

This is classic

With friends like that, who needs enemies?

love-d-OR · Jan 7, 2008

Call them frienemies...

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, too. The fact that you are forgiving does not mean you have to forget. Anyway, are you sure there isnt more to this than the NCLEX? How long have you all been friends? Im not saying that YOU did something to turn them off, but you rarely see a group of people be soooo jealous to the point that they dont speak to you. Dont call them or email them a ton, but when they are ready to speak to you figure out what went wrong. Whatever happens, I dont recommend you trust them with yourself. They dont sound very trustworthy.

rmfrier · Jan 7, 2008

It is so bizaar. I had a friend that was taking KAplan with them and I asked her to tell them I was trying to call them to check on them. I just wanted to see if everything was okay since I hadn't been able to get a hold of them. My friend said when she told them that I was trying to check on them, they unleashed on her about me. How weird. My friend said it she didn't really understand why they were upset, but that they were going on and on about how I didn't understand what they were going through and how I thought I was better than them. I was flabbergasted as I have never had a problem with any of my classmates. As far as I know I haven't said anything that might offend them. It is just plain weird and out of nowhere. I am certainly not above admitting my wrongs or apologizing for anything that I have done which I did in an email to both of them. The whole thing is just weird. It just seems like HIgh School all over again. I have just moved on and am not worrying about it. I told both of them in an email if they wanted to talk about this, I would be glad to talk to them. I also said that I was here if they needed me for any reason and that I wished them all the best. What else can I do at this point? I am certainly not going to stalk them. I did distance myself from them a little bit this last semester, nothing drastic. It was only because I was working, am a mom of three kids, wife, etc. They tend to freak out over exams and I just didn't need the additional anxiety that they brought to the table, but I never said anything about that to anyone. I don't know, I can't figure it out, but I am not going to waste my energy on it. I want to focus my energy on my new nursing career and hope that when they do pass the HESI and NCLEX that their attitudes might change. I will be here if and when that happens.

love-d-OR · Jan 7, 2008

You are right, it does sound like high school. Good luck with your first year and congratulations.

iwilldothis · Jan 10, 2008

Has anyone experienced their classmates whom you thought were your close friends mad at you because you passed HESI and NCLEX, and they haven't passed HESI after 2nd time? I am just flabbergasted. After phone calls were ignored, I finally found out that they didn't want anything to do with me. I just don't understand. I am just so hurt for them and me. I didn't even tell them that I took NCLEX, but of course they found out. SHould I just let it go? I am one of these people that can't handle friends being upset, but I know that I didn't do anything. Help!

ok. here is what i see just from this. Congrats first for passing Hesi and your boards. Secondly, look at how you worded this "passed hesi and nclex, and they havent even passed after the 2nd time. Maybe this is all in context, but if you have this type of attitude- they may sense this. And maybe you are just thinking they will be jealous- when indeed some maybe, but if they are your close friends as you say- they would not be. You have to ask yourself do i want them to be? You hiding that you passed your boards is not helping your situation. On the other hand, if they are ignoring your phone calls and being very immature about the situation- then yeah who needs friends like this.

iwilldothis · Jan 11, 2008

Has anyone experienced their classmates whom you thought were your close friends mad at you because you passed HESI and NCLEX, and they haven't passed HESI after 2nd time? I am just flabbergasted. After phone calls were ignored, I finally found out that they didn't want anything to do with me. I just don't understand. I am just so hurt for them and me. I didn't even tell them that I took NCLEX, but of course they found out. SHould I just let it go? I am one of these people that can't handle friends being upset, but I know that I didn't do anything. Help!

One more thing, not to be cruel, but do you think maybe you would feel this way if the tables were turned? And maybe they haven't been awnsering their phones as much because they are busy studying- I havent been out or talked everyday with my friends because of the hesi. And then when they do pass you guys can celebrate together.

eldragon · Jan 11, 2008

Unfortunately it's not an unsuual story.

They should be asking for your help to pass the tests, though.

And after they do pass the tests, expect them to be friends with you again.

That is, until you get a job first, or a better job then they got, or a better shift, or you start working out and lose a few lbs or get a great boyfriend, etc.

Get it? No matter what they are going through, they should still muster up some happiness for your success. If they can't do that, they are selfish and you don't need them.