Friends who aren’t in the medical profession

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Does anyone else find it difficult at times to have friends who aren’t nurses. I feel misunderstood because it seems like my life is so different from my friends’. Being a nurse encompasses so much of who I am. I’m introverted anyway so besides not having a lot of time outside of work, I don’t have a great desire to go looking for them but also feel the friendships are missing from my life. Does this make sense to anyone?

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Specializes in Surgical, quality,management.

I have nurse friends but also teacher friends who are as twisted as nurses. The cops I know are nowhere near as jaded as nurses and teachers. I have made friends on social sports teams and while these are not BFFs it is good to have people that are from different backgrounds as if you progess in your career and a friend doesn't it can be quite a hit to the friendship.

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What's weird to me is that I will randomly seek out people to speak to on occasion and more often than not, they are nurses! I think nurses have a certain aura or something. I find them in crowds.

But, yes, those not in the profession just dont understand the job demands. They think we are complaining like an accountant or something, and nursing isnt just something you can turn off and on. The job demands placed on nurses are completely over the top!

I have some friends who are not nurses but I find I cant complain to them.

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Specializes in Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation.

Most of my friends and closest friends are nurses and coworkers. My non-nursing friends are primarily the ones I still keep in touch with from high school so I don't really have a hard time talking to them since we've known each other for so many years. It does become a little difficult when I meet new people a friend's party that are not in the medical profession. It's hard to make small talk since nursing/medical is all I know and what I talk about on a daily basis especially with my regular friends even outside work. I find it most difficult to talk to non-medical female peers I just met aside from just telling them I'm a nurse. Honestly, not really much to talk about unless SHE inquires about medicine/nursing.

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Specializes in 25 years NICU 5 years Telephone Triage.

I understand. I have a few close friends that aren't nurses. They don't understand at all. Nobody understands really, unless they are a nurse. This includes my family as well. I am so tired of being a nurse honestly. It is not easy!!

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Specializes in ICU, ER, Home Health, Corrections, School Nurse.

I am married to a retired banker, and we would argue about him not "getting" it about the challenges of nursing, He would tell me about banking challenges and I would scoff because there is no life threatening anything in banking.

If you remember, last year there was the big scandal in the banking industry where the employees were opening up accounts without people's permission. They were doing this because they HAD to meet impossible quotas to keep their jobs. What is the connection you ask? Well, yes nursing is hard and challenging. But people everywhere have challenges, trying to keep their jobs, working for low pay, the gig industry with no stability or benefits, etc. Nursing has unique challenges that no one else gets, but everyone feels that their own personal challenges are so much more challenging than everyone else's.

At the end of the day, people are just people. If you don't have any interests outside of nursing, it is hard to connect with other people. I would suggest maybe finding something else that interests you, it's a good way to make connections with other people, and a good way to prevent burn out in nursing.

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

I agree with "nursy", RN's post above. Lots of people feel the same way about their jobs -- that their challenges are harder than everyone else's. If you want to connect with other people and have friends and family relationships with non-nurses, its up to you to cultivate interests outside your particular job focus.

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Specializes in 25 years NICU 5 years Telephone Triage.

I agree. I do have outside interests. My point is that non-nurse friends and family have basically told me to "get over it. It's your job." Without expressing any empathy. I think we should all have empathy for other professions. I think we should all listen with compassion when people are struggling to cope with their occupation.

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Specializes in ICU, ER, Home Health, Corrections, School Nurse.
9 minutes ago, ILoveHorsesRN said:

I think we should all listen with compassion when people are struggling to cope with their occupation.

I'm sorry that you are in a position where you are "struggling to cope." I don't know you or your life situation, but I know when I was in a position where I was "struggling to cope," it took a toll on my husband. And as much as our familes and friends love us and want to be supportive, it can be exhausting trying to be emphatic all the time and dealing with the venting and frustrations of your loved one. My answer was to get a new job where I am much happier, and my husband is much happier.

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Specializes in Dialysis.

I make sure that most of my closest friends are not in healthcare! My family is made up of nurses and doctors, so I can go there if I need a listening ear. I have interests outside of nursing, so believe me, it helps when making conversation with others. You have to be the one to not limit your interests

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Specializes in 25 years NICU 5 years Telephone Triage.

Nursy: I am pursuing a new job for sure. I see you have 40 years nursing experience. I have 30 years. I wish I could retire like other people can who have been at their jobs for 30 years. It's called burnout.

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