I find myself today some how discourage and with a low spirit, I would like to know the opinion and hear experiences from either new grads or more experience nurses about my story.
I was hired exactly one year ago as a New Grad at the ER in a local hospital. We all new grads were hired with a $5000 contract for 3 years. This contract involved educational training for New Grad ER nurses, This will include a preceptors and a Regional ER course. Well at the time and as a New grad looking for a new experience and any job that came across the ER sounded great, and 3 years contract really did not felt like much.
Well my journey started, I was trying to get use to be called the orientee, because this was the way all our coworkers were referring to us.
Well one day after a couple of week of orientations and lots of CE courses online required by the hospital, our manager said to us the ER course will start next week, but we have to make an addendum to your contract, is not going to be $5000 anymore now is $7500, I was forced to sign it at that point. We all sign it . The ER regional course was 4 or 5 weeks and it was useless, poor teachers nothing ER related really broad and vague. It was like assisting to one of those fast track NCLEX courses, basic stuff but nothing that I didn't knew already from nursing school. I really felt robbed, but again I needed a job and I was still excited about ER. We were suppose to have a ONE preceptor to follow through what you were learning, not many and who ever was willing to take you that day. This is what happened, I had multiple preceptors, some good, some hate to have an orientee and some just care less about teaching you. I completed my 6 month review with clean record :-) I even call dad , I am good I passed my probation period clean with clean record. that was a huge relieve, up to that point all my managers and directors were being some how nice to me. Well things change, once you are on your own with no preceptor, I was oriented during day shift for 3 months and now I was sent to nights. That was a major change for me, keeping in mind I had never ever work a night shift in my life, but that was my agreement and I was willing to fulfill it.
I was hired in March and I managed to keep up my new grad record clean, until season started, most of the techs were either fired or left, I see many nurses leave but I really didn't get involved, I was there to earn my living not to gossip around.
December 31th I was called for the first time to my managers office, I had gave another patient papers mixed with the packet the doctor handled me to discharge this patient, and I mislabeled a blood tube. I was being written up for the first time, my manager didn't look or acted as nice as before, she was rough, mean and really not understanding. I assumed my fault, but I accept my personality is sometimes talkative and I said I am not sure I gave those papers to the patient, because this is the case many times where the charge nurses give discharges or doctors do and then you have to sign on them, and ER is really busy things like this are hard to remember. But I guess I should just assume my fault and leave that office. Well I managed to just say I am sorry I will pay more attention to detail, this was what they counsel me about, attention to detail. Well after that I felt they were watching me, I was so sad and anxious not to make any mistakes that I feel the more careful I was the more clumsy I was becoming. I was called one more time to the office, A Retired Nurse who came to my ER almost at change of shift placed a complaint that she was never place in the monitor, and also I had place a urine sample in the same bag with the tubes, this according to the lab contaminates specimen and she made me withdraw the labs again. I gained a second write up. I appeal the monitor case because it was charted, but manager said patient was a reliable source and eve though I had patient for less than 30 minutes and even if I gave bedside report and it was documented in my chart, it wasn't valid and I had to keep the write up. I did not appeal this write up not until I received the 3rd write up.
The third write up happened last week march, we are talking of 3 write ups in a matter of 3 months. The last write up that caused me a suspension was about my biggest fault, I entered the medication list of one of my patients into another patients chart. They found out when the patient went to the floor and the nurse wrote me up, I have no excuse the ER has been to explosion level and my anxiety because I knew this was going to happened, my charge nurses being of no help, no techs in the ER , many normal factors of the ER.. no Excuse I am making stupid mistakes. I was told by my managers who were very aggressive in front of the ER director in this write up appeal meeting, We are seeing a pattern here you are not having attention to detail and also you don't accept your blames. They also told me that one more error and I will be fired. What should I do? Is this a good time to resign and take a deep breath before making more mistakes? Is my manager going to give bad references about me once I start looking for a job? I really feel stupid for making all this rookie mistakes :-(, mostly because my manager has told me I don't belong in the hospital world.
I am scared of resigning, but I am more afraid of being fired, how to handle this and leave with my head up ?
