fooling myself

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I have been a nurse for almost two years, have worked in long term care, but I still can't shake this feeling of dread every time I go to work. At first, I thought it was just the facility I was working in, but I'm in my third facility and I still feel the same feeling of inadequacy and lack of confidence. I'm 46 and in the process of working on my Rn through the Rue Publishing systems. I don't feel the "fulfillment" I was told I would feel when I was a nursing student. Did I pick the wrong profession. I'm really confused. I did well in school, graduating second in my class, but this ongoing feeling is really not normal for a new nurse. I don't know what to do.

Originally posted by beaglemom

Well, I decided to leave long term care. I have been thinking about doing this for a while and finally decided. I don't feel its the right area of nursing for me. I have about 2 years under my belt so I think I'll be alright. I have worked in three facilities since graduating 2 years ago, and I still couldn't shake that feeling that I wasn't happy with what I was doing. Change is always scary, but I have to be true to myself. Wish me luck.

You answered your own question with your last remark..be true to yourself :) Most nurses have to try different areas until they find a spot they 'click' in...best of luck in finding yours (((hugzzz)))

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

I too worked in LTC for several years off & on, because I have a huge soft spot in my heart for the elderly and thought it was the best environment in which to advocate for them. WRONG!! I saw people who had paid into the system for their entire working lives and now couldn't even get the electric wheelchairs that would give them at least some degree of independence. I saw CEOs of the big corporations that owned the facilities where I worked driving expensive SUVs and wearing $1000 suits while the CNAs toiled for barely above minimum wage. I saw nurses run ragged by the demands of caring for 40 or more residents and then fired when they could no longer handle it.

So I went back to the hospital, where the physical demands are just as heavy, if not more so, but where I've found my true calling as a float nurse. I avoid burnout by working part-time and having lots of interests outside my job, which, in my humble estimation, is the key to a satisfying life........work to live, don't live to work!

Just my $.02 worth.

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I actually loved LTC. I'd still be there if it weren't for the fact that you can't always get good benefits.

Maybe you should change jobs, but I wonder if maybe you are missing the fufillment part because you are so stressed out doing everything else. It happens.

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Specializes in Psych, Med/Surg, Home Health, Oncology.

Hi

First off, Good Luck to you with what ever decision you make.

Long Term care can be very depressing if it's not for you.

Since you are young and new to the profession, perhaps you just need to choose another area. Maybe you'd be happier in something faster paced--like the ICU or the ED.

An area which I truly loved was Home Care. I got to spend time with my patients and really got to know them.

The really GREAT thing with NURSING is that there are so many choices!! You don't have to stay in one area, you can try others.

You can try a Hospital, Home, Office; You can even work for a Drug Company or an Insurance Company, HMO, or even in a factory as an Occupational Health Nurse. Also, don't forget School Nursing.

The Field is Wide Open!!

Good Luck to You!! I'm sure you'll be able to find something!!

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I have been an LPN for 5 yrs first 2 yrs as night shift charge in LTC for geriatrics and last 2.5 in LTC for profoundly mentallly and physically handicapped. If I had it all to do over again I would have went to the hosp first for the diverse experience but I think i would have ended up in geriatrics. I adored it I just cant abide the lack of staffing which ultimately translate into pt suffering. In a perfect world I would work in a well run well staffed LTC geriatrics with good bennies for the rest of my life. But we dont live in a perfect world.

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the best is yet to come--

LTC IS VERY VERY CHALLENGING. NOT ARE YOU STRUGGLING WITH BEING RELATIVELY FRESH TO NURSING, BUT SOMETIMES I THINK AS LTC NURSES YOU STRUGGLE WITH THE GUILT OF FEELING FRUSTRATED AT AN OLDER POPULATION-- UNFORTUNATELY SOMETIMES IT REMINDS US OF WHERE OR HOW WE MIGHT END UP SOMEDAY OR HOW OUR FOLKS MIGHT BE CARED FOR SOMEDAY.

I DID LONG TERM CARE FOR ABOUT 3 1/2 YEARS, BUT THAT WAS ABOUT 18 YRS AGO. SOME PEOPLE ENJOY IT VERY MUCH AND I DID TOO...BUT I TOO WOULD GO TO WORK DOUBTING MY ABILITIES...OR BEATING MYSELF UP IN THE CAR ON THE WAY HOME WONDERING IF I SHOULD I HAVE DONE SOMETHING DIFFERENT...OR IF I SHOULD HAVE SEEN SOMETHING COMING...WHY DIDN'T I ANTICIPATE THAT???? BUT MY SISTER (WHO IS ALSO A NURSE GAVE ME A LITTLE PIECE OF ADVICE A LONG TIME AGO...SHE SAID TO ME THAT "JUST REMEMBER THAT PEOPLE ARE THERE BECAUSE THEY ARE SICK"...AND THAT "YOU CAN'T FEEL GUILTY WHEN THEY GET SICK"..JUST ACT PROMPTLY AND FOLLOW YOUR GUT FEELING...ALWAYS ..ALWAYS ALWAYS...LISTEN TO THAT LITTLE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD NO MATTER HOW REDICULOUS OF A FEELING YOU THINK IT MAY BE..OR HOW STUPID YOU MAY THINK IT SEEMS TO THE REST OF THE NURSES...LISTEN CLOSELY BECAUSE IF YOU DO... SOMEDAY YOUR GUT INSTINCT WILL BECOME SO FINE TUNED THAT YOU WILL BE SURPRISED THAT NO ONE ELSE IN THE ROOM IS HEARING THAT LITTLE VOICE THAT IS SCREAMING IN YOUR HEAD THAT SOMETHING HERE JUST " DOESN'T LOOK RIGHT" WITH THIS PATIENT---MAYBE AS SIMPLE AS A DIFFERENT SHADE OF GREY??? YOU ARE ALWAYS GOING TO FEEL AS THOUGH YOU AS A NURSE AREN'T EQUIPPED ENOUGH-- WHETHER IT BE KNOWLEGE OR EXPERIENCE-- WHY CAN'T I FIX IT? THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME?? MAYBE IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING FIXED?? ASK YOURSELF...DID YOU DO YOUR BEST????? DID YOU DO EVERYTHING THAT YOU COULD THINK OF TO DO FOR THE PERSON?? IF YOU CAN HONESTLY SAY YES, YOU TRIED YOUR BEST, THAN THAT SHOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH-- IT'S OK WHEN PEOPLE DON'T ALWAYS GET FIXED--SUR YOU FEEL TERRIBLE AND YOU TOO GRIEVE FOR THEM AND WITH THE FAMILIES...BUT THAT IS PART OF LIVING--

--IT'S HARD TO FORGIVE YOURSELF SOMETIMES AS A NURSE FOR "NOT FIXING IT"....BUT REMEMBER IT'S OKAY TO FORGIVE YOURSELF...

...FIND SOMEONE THERE THAT YOU RESPECT--THAT IS FIND SOMEONE WHO (REGARDLESS OF HOW RETENTIVE THEY ARE) YOU FEEL GIVES GREAT CARE, AND WATCH CLOSELY--- USE THEM TO BOUNCE YOUR THOUGHTS OR FEELINGS OFF OF-- THEY'LL PROBABLY NOT BE THE MOST POPULAR OF NURSE THERE BUT I GUARANTEE THAT THE REASON WHY THEY'VE BECOME SO RETENTIVE IS THAT THEY'VE BEEN BURNED OR SEEN IT HAPPEN TO MANY MANY OTHER NURSES-

--AND DON'T BE AFRAID TO TRY SOMETHING NEW--IT'S SCARY EVEN FOR THE SEASONED NURSES---

--HOPE THAT YOU DO WHAT 'S RIGHT FOR YOU--KEEP US POSTED!!

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