The bully strikes again

live_N_scrubs · Oct 18, 2005

So, how did you "just quit?" Did you not give them any notice?
QUOTE]
One day I went to discuss my concerns with the nurse manager about the situation. I told her that I was not happy there on the unit and that I felt that it was not fair to either one of us if stayed any longer. She agreed. We had discussed it about a week earlier that I felt like the unit was not a good fit for me, so I think she knew it was coming. Since I was still in orientation and on my probation period I was able to just resign from my position. Trust me, it was me or them and I had to look out for me. As for explaining this in other interviews, I explained exactly what happened, how I felt like It was not fair for me stay somewhere that I was not happy. I made sure I stayed positive about my experience, discussed how I would be an asset to thier institution. In the end, out of 4 interviews, I got three offers. I'm not going to say it was an easy thing to try to explain or that I was not under more scutiny at my interviews. But for the most part that was not a focus at my interviews, they really didn't ask a whole lot about it. I just decided that I would not bash my ex-employer/hospital. And, yes my manager in the end gave me a good reference. It was just what we agreed on.
I would not suggest to anyone to just leave a position without notice, but I was not going to be treated like that, and maybe they will take a good look at thier orientation and preceptor program and make changes. It was a hard decision for me, but it had to be made. I don't regret it now that I have a better job and everything worked out.
Once again, good luck

Catsmeow · Oct 18, 2005

Well, whether you quit or not, grumpy co-worker aside, lemme say perfume is one of the worst things that set off migraines. The hospital I worked at (admitting, ER etc.) asked all employees not to wear perfume as it was more important to not exacerbate the problems the sick, nauseous, elderly, or migraine prone folks already had.

raindrop · Oct 18, 2005

Thanks everyone. I have to find the nerve to just do it (quit).

I have been there almost 3 months, first RN job.

Oh, here is another strange perplexing comment by my manager.

She told me I was still on orientation. Huhhhh. Why have I taken my own pt load for the past 4 weeks then. :uhoh3:

Liddle Noodnik · Oct 18, 2005

Thanks everyone. I have to find the nerve to just do it (quit).
I have been there almost 3 months, first RN job.
Oh, here is another strange perplexing comment by my manager.
She told me I was still on orientation. Huhhhh. Why have I taken my own pt load for the past 4 weeks then.

Ooookay.

Just added confirmation that you're doing the right thing.

FroggysMom · Oct 18, 2005

Here I am trying to lighten everyones day a bit by softly whistling as I was sharpeing my pencil, which I have heard other people do, and she told me to stop and not to ever whistle in front of her again b/c she hates whistling.
She told me my perfume stunk and makes her eyes water in front of eveyone at the nurses station. It was embarassing. It is NOT strong at all.
I know these things are minor, but try going thru this crap everyday. It's always something with her, ALWAYS. I'm so miserable when it's time for me to go to work.

Don't give her the time of day. We have one of those (bully type, holier than thou attitude) in our workplace too. I used to fret over it, wondering why she didn't like me. Fortunately for me though, she was never verbal in her bullying, only in her attitude.

I've learned to ignore her and her bad attitude. There are so many more pleasant faces around, it's easy to simply not socialize with her, give her a detailed report as usual if passing along patients to her, and then just leaving.

As an old boss of mine used to say "Don't sweat the small stuff."

Re perfume, I don't wear it not because of any policy, but because of distress it may cause my patients - and maybe co-workers.

Whistling? I don't know. It wouldn't bother me, but it might others who are trying to concentrate on charting, etc. Just be considerate of others and let the INconsiderate bully nurse go her own way. She isn't worth your concern or your emotional well being. Fuggedaboudit.

KarryRN · Oct 18, 2005

It sounds like you are ready to quit, and I don't blame you. I think at most workplaces the first three months is an orientation period where either the employee or the employer can decide that it is or isn't the right fit. When I was a new grad, there was a fellow new grad on our floor that quit on the spot because she had a preceptor that was really hard on her. At my last job I quit after only being there for three months. I had a hard time leaving my one year old, and I decided to be a SAHM. I gave two weeks notice, but you may not want to due to your hostile work environment. Good luck with your decision. :icon_hug:

meta4 · Oct 18, 2005

Sorry you are having difficulties with coworkers. Based upon what I have read it sounds like the underlying problem may be your "permission threshold".If you choose to ignore this behaviour(being spoken to rudely) what may happen especially on a unit that lacks support and cohesiveness ,not to mention poor leadership is that others witness this rudeness and in turn may choose to treat you in an aggressive manner because you are permitting them to do so(like the unit clerk you described). What to do? I agree that the use of perfume, body sprays etc in our profession is not appriopriate due to allergies, preferences etc of patients and colleagues. Similarly behaviors such as whistling or gum-chewing are not conducive to presenting a professional demeanor. That being said, the bully acted unprofessionally. She will continue to do this as long as you continue to be silent. Bullying behaviors such as these are examples of horizontal violence. Unfortunately you can not "run" from this. If you quit this job because of a bully, you will only find another waiting for you down the road. You need to take a stand and learn how to set a boundary in a professional and caring way.

raindrop · Oct 18, 2005

Two weeks notice going in tomorrow. This grass has to be greener on the other side. I hope. :uhoh21:

For those who keep mentioning how unprofesional it was of me to wear perfume/whistle, ok ok, maybe it was...but that wasn't the point.

bluesky, BSN, RN · Oct 18, 2005

Yes, she could have been much more polite.
And whistling, along with humming, etc. can be annoying beyond all belief. In some units, they play the radio, and then you will have one nurse humming something completely different, another with the sound on ..on the computer watching an interview and the cacophony is INSANE!!!!!! Add in the normal bells and alarms, and it can make one want to go postal.
It doesn't bother me.

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · Oct 18, 2005

And whistling, along with humming, etc. can be annoying beyond all belief. In some units, they play the radio, and then you will have one nurse humming something completely different, another with the sound on ..on the computer watching an interview and the cacophony is INSANE!!!!!! Add in the normal bells and alarms, and it can make one want to go postal.
It doesn't bother me.
Perhaps then ask the patients that are admitted with headaches and unable to sleep, the staff that are trying to discuss via phone about patient issues, the MDs that are trying to dictate, etc.
The "normal" amount of noise on the typical unit is bad enough with adding to it with highly unnecessary sound.
I was in the ER, with a closed head injury from an MVI, and the noise (from staffers chatting/whistling/several radios/computers was literally making me vomit.
I have also dealt with elderly that are HOH and use hearing aids. As a nurse, it is a pain to communicate with them without the hearing aid on. But some will tell you that they get headaches/cannot rest because of the shear amount of noise in the hospital, and will not wear the aids when admitted.

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · Oct 19, 2005

She promised me that I could talk to her confidentially, and when I was finished, she told me she is going to give a couple of them inservices on how to say things differently, and will casually mention my negative experiences.
She also told me that I am new and very sensitive. True, but I don't think any "older" nurse would brush off this behavior.
I think I am going to quit. I can't wait 3 months to transfer, it will kill me. How much notice should I give, 2 or 4 weeks? I prefer 2, but...
With prospective employers, what is the reason I should give when they ask me why I quit?

As an "older" nurse, I routinely brush off the same bad behavior. As a traveler, I have found that virtually EVERY assignment that I have worked has had at least one bad apple, if not more. But by the same token, I don't work there permanently and know that I am not there to change things, especially among established staff members.

My life at work, is just that....work. I seek satisfaction outside of my coworkers. And if I have great coworkers, well that is a nice gift from G-d, but not a requirement.

I have spoken up a number of times. In some cases, it has effected change and some places, I have gotten the "You are too sensitive", "They are just trying to push your buttons - play you", or the "Well, s/he are just having a bad time at home, and....". That right there is a big red flag, and I sign up for what I can deal with and leave before I open my mouth and tell the staffer what I really think of them.

What is difficult, is the "bad apple" is probably one of the more "reliable" staffers in that it's not like they are going to get a different job, nor are they likely to advance, because of those very traits that drive others nuts.

Most facilities require the new nurse to work one unit for at least 6-12 monthes before they are permitted to transfer. That is not unusual. And, quite bluntly, many will not transfer from an understaffed unit, until staffing is up to par. Given the attitudes on the floor, the chances of the unit ever being staffed are slim to none.

As far as reason for leaving, the old, "The job was not a good fit for me" works, if asked. Emphasis on how you can benefit the new employer and ask plenty of questions that indicate that you wish to insure a good fit in the new position that you are seeking and that you are a good fit for that position. Do not bad talk the old employer, the "good fit" line pretty much is a polite way out. And chances are many people outside the facility/unit, probably already know some of the issues via the grapevine.

SFCardiacRN · Oct 19, 2005

Time to change units. You don't have to put up with HER unproffesional behavior. I also don't care for whistling or perfume but she should have gone to the unit manager instead of approaching you directly. You have a good case for transfer because of her behavior.