Hi all, I have to come and ask for some input, I've been trying and trying and I just can't stop feeling overwhelmed. I am working in a critical care environment and maybe that was my mistake for doing that right out of nursing school with no previous medical experience b/c I'm feeling so overwhelmed. An example - I am slow slow slow when it comes to turning vent babies. You have to unhook this and turn that and be smooth and quick but I am not quick enough, I'm too clumsy, etc. I got better throughout the day but still not that good. I know one of these days I'll be that nurse that extubated a baby by accident. I don't wanna do that!
I have been blessed with two GREAT preceptors so far, I have many more to come on my schedule but the two I've had have been very patient but I know that they probably wonder why I am not retaining this. For example an arterial line blood draw, there are these stopcock contraptions to help you get blood and it has the flush and all that stuff in one, its so many things to hold and you have to take so many steps blah blah blah. Or knowing what color tube you need to put blood in. How am I supposed to ever remember that? I can't carry a binder of need to know stuff around with me.
And as many people know and discuss, every preceptor does things differently, all safety but still different and when you are new and trying to figure out how to do something period, seeing all these different ways can get very confusing.
I was crying yesterday on my break and lunch and then on my way home, I was an hour late after report trying to finish up on two vented babies (my first time with vented babies). I cried all the way home and was thinking I need something less acute/critical but there isn't anything in the realm of neonates right now for me other than critical care and I don't really want to do adults unless its mother/baby or L/D. I can't do med surg - had a back surgery recently and I just can't do the heavy lifting. Plus I don't want med surg...those nurses are great, I worship your ability to do all that entails with med surg. Way to go!
So then I come home and we have some personal financial problems right now with our mortgage so then I realized well I have to stay and do what I'm doing even though I feel so stupid and so overwhelmed b/c we need the money. Thankfully I am a pretty ambitious person and will try and try and persist but yesterday I just felt so stupid. I'm not retaining information the way I should. I have no problem really with assessment and cares but its the other things, new orders every time you turn around, xrays, labs, suctioning, family, other personnel etc. It makes for a very busy/hectic day but then I see other nurses (more experienced!) able to do their stuff and chill out and talk or do whatever while I"m going nuts...makes me think I will never get that skilled that I can do things and be relaxed and on time.
Ok enough for me venting but I appreciate any words of support, encouragement or I've been there and I'm doing ok or hey I'm there now too LOL. :welcome: