First patient death

Published

I am still a nursing student and I am doing an externship this summer on a med surg floor. This morning was the first time that a patient died that I actually knew. :crying2: He'd been on our floor for months because he had dementia and we were trying to place him. I know I will encounter death a lot as a nurse, and I do believe this is better for him, he didnt even remember who he was half the time. But its still hard. I actually got floated to the psych floor today for the first time and I spent my whole shift angry that I had been floated but now I think God was just trying to protect me from witnessing his code. I dont think it would have been good for me if the first code I witnessed was on a patient I knew and cared about. Just yesterday he called me his friend and now he's gone :( Our floor will miss you Mr. J.

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Specializes in LTC, Psych, Hospice.

Sending you big hugs! :redbeathe I'm not going to tell you it gets easier the longer you are a nurse, it's just different. When you know you've done everything you can for the pt and and make sure that person comfortable, you will have a sense of peace about death. It's always hard when we lose a pt (even when we know they are dying). I've been a hospice nurse for the past 12 years and still get teary when I lose a pt. It sounds like you have the compassion to make a wonderful nurse.

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Unfortunatly its a sad fact that we have to face death often in our field. When i used to work on the ambulance at a transport company. we had a Bariatric Dialysis patient we transported every Saturday for about 6 months.. i got close with him.. he would often times tell me about his adventures in New York in the 80's.. he had bone cancer and passed away in october.. Its a human feeling.. it only makes it harder when its someone you got to know...

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Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

Of course we bond with our patients and we always feel a loss when they are gone. If it is any comfort, be proud that you did your very best for him and he obviously appreciated your efforts if he called you his friend. You blessed his life. His death does not change that.

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Specializes in Student.

I'm not a nurse yet, but I been around people that I was attach to that died in front of my eyes. This is not going to do anything but make you a stronger person; in nursing & in life. You have a good heart, and one thing I know is, if you don't have the heart & the compass to do this work; then you will not make a good nurse. Good Luck!!!! in your work. :redbeathe

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Specializes in Certified Med/Surg tele, and other stuff.

Aww, big hugs. It's always hard to see people you have taken care of expire.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

((HUGS)) It always hurts a little because we care......

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Thank you everyone for your replies, its nice to have such a supportive community here :)

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Specializes in Emergency Department, Float Pool.

I just experienced my 1st patient death, I work at a post acute center. I'm still in shock in everything that happened. I'm a new grad. and freaking out. I know I did everything I was suppose to do, but I almost feel guilty for not catching. He stated he had heart burn and wanted prn antacids next, thing I know he was declining. I'm calling 911. He was a DNR so there was nothing I or the EMT's could do. Will I ever get use to this? I was also alone working the NOC shift. I don't think I want to work NOC shift anymore.

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