First code

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Feeling new emotions ... today I did CPR for the first time. I have been a nurse for a year and work in a LTC facility. We initated CPR for 4 mins before ems arrived....when ems got there she was Brady but had a pulse.breathing on her own and was somewhat responsive....ems complimented us on a good job....but she passed in the hospital. Had been put on a vent and the family decided to take her off.

I guess I'm just having feelings I've never had. I was happy we were able to bring her back with CPR alone. But to hear she died anyways has me feeling well I don't know how to describe it....and I have never done CPR, I have never felt someones ribs crack under my hands, it is a horrible feeling....I just needed to get it out. I've never posted on here before. Guess I just need a debriefing...

Specializes in Surgery/Trauma.

It's wonderful you had a chance to give the family more time, they probably appreciate it more then you know right now. Sometimes even if you aren't able to bring them back the families do appreciate that you tried and you didn't just give up on their parents or grandparents. The emotions are tough to deal with especially if you are new to codes. Just take a deep breath and center yourself.

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Be proud of yourself! You did wonderful. Ive only had to do CPR once, it was about 6 months ago. I still have the guilt feelings that I was never able to get a pulse on him, at least you were able to. People have spoken such kind words about what happened and my actions but I still have these feelings. Slowly but surely getting better with time... deep breath, remind yourself you did what you could!

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A wonderful nurse once told me that I should not expect any code to turn out well. She said to remember that if you must do CPR, they are already gone, and you MIGHT be able to bring a handful back. In my time, very few have survived for very long after the code, and I still feel guilty every time, but her words help. They were already gone. It sounded harsh to me at the time, but I realize she was right. Kudos to you for what you did, you brought one back, for however long. That's better than many can do.

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I feel your pain from your first code. It is an out of body experience to have anothers life in your hands.

You did well. However.. if you cracked the ribs... this person was extremely fragile and chronically ill.

Four minutes of CPR .. no matter how well performed, usually does not lead to "brady and breathing on her own".

WHY did this resident CODE... is what you need to take away from this .. and should they have been made a DNR in the first place?

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Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.
I feel your pain from your first code. It is an out of body experience to have anothers life in your hands.

You did well. However.. if you cracked the ribs... this person was extremely fragile and chronically ill.

Four minutes of CPR .. no matter how well performed, usually does not lead to "brady and breathing on her own".

WHY did this resident CODE... is what you need to take away from this .. and should they have been made a DNR in the first place?

My first thoughts were the same as the above. I've cracked too many ribs, and watched too many 70, 80, 90 yr olds linger on a vent.

However, the OP was about a code and how the nurse felt about it. A pt/resident's wishes were respected. CPR was successful and a family was given time they wouldn't have had.

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She probably should have been a dnr in the first place. She had many comorbidities and alot going against her. However she was planning on going home at the end of this month. We respected her wishes. It definitely is an out of body experience. I didn't sleep a wink last night. Im glad we were able to give the family a chance to say goodbye and make the decision.

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I am starting my first 'real' job in July. I have never had a patient pass away during clinical and I have never witnessed a code in a hospital.

This is probably one of my biggest fears about working as an RN. I know that there are a lot of things I haven't done and I can even accept that patients die (I am really interested in hospice but I am working in Neuro med/surg first). But the whole idea of me actually preforming a code and cracking a patients ribs and the patient still passing really scares me. I hope I don't choke up during my first code.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
She probably should have been a dnr in the first place. She had many comorbidities and a lot going against her. However she was planning on going home at the end of this month. We respected her wishes. It definitely is an out of body experience. I didn't sleep a wink last night. I'm glad we were able to give the family a chance to say goodbye and make the decision.

:hug: It is very traumatic. It's not at all like we see on TV. You now know how to respond to an emergency and that is an important step in being a nurse. Depending on where you end up in your career...there will be different levels of comfort in code situations. But when you feel/hear those ribs pop and crack is just hard no matter how long you have been doing CPR.

We can only promise to always do our best. We have no personal control over the outcomes for that is up to someone, something else....:saint:.

Well done! :hug:

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Feelings are OK. If it continues to trouble, get professional help. We need debriefings, but often don't get them. Sounds like you did what you were supposed to do (without DNR you have to) and did it well. God chose when to take her, not you.

Good luck. I think I would love you to me my nurse!

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I am starting my first 'real' job in July. I have never had a patient pass away during clinical and I have never witnessed a code in a hospital.

This is probably one of my biggest fears about working as an RN. I know that there are a lot of things I haven't done and I can even accept that patients die (I am really interested in hospice but I am working in Neuro med/surg first). But the whole idea of me actually preforming a code and cracking a patients ribs and the patient still passing really scares me. I hope I don't choke up during my first code.

There is so much adrenaline pumping you have no other feelings at the time. You are in complete nurse mode. Afterwards is when the feelings hit. It was alot different than I expected.

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Feelings are OK. If it continues to trouble, get professional help. We need debriefings, but often don't get them. Sounds like you did what you were supposed to do (without DNR you have to) and did it well. God chose when to take her, not you.

Good luck. I think I would love you to me my nurse!

Thank you! :)

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Specializes in Emergency/Cath Lab.

My pants fell off during my first code. Once I left the unit I burst out laughing. Its how I decompressed. Some people might see it as horrible but sometimes its what you need.

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